To wonder what I'm doing wrong?

[ToddlerMayhemMummy]

I keep seeing people say they only hoover once a week/month and big tidy monthly how on earth is this achievable?

I have a 2yr old and 1yr old and when they go to bed at 6pm, DH and I spend 2hrs cleaning all the toys away, tidying the kitchen, hoovering all the way through the downstairs, mopping the kitchen and polishing the dining table and all oak bits.

Then we proceed to bleach and anti bac wipe the bathrooms, hoover and mopping on the 2 upper floors is done by DH whilst I iron and hang away the clothes from the previous day, then we polish and generally straighten up everything.

It gets sooo crummy and messy during the day I'm not sure how I'll ever be able to relax of an evening.

Where am I going wrong, PS - Baba is due in 6 weeks, so I'm worrying where he

Stop! just stop. Really. I'm horrified that you are spending so long every day doing stuff that you will do again and again and again. Why? Why do you feel the need to anti-bac, hoover daily, tidy away blah blah. The world will not end if you do not do this.

Please try to enjoy your children rather than regard them as the devil dressed in dirt.

OK, I'm a total slut when it comes to housework, but do you know what? The world doesn't end if you don't hoover on a daily basis.

I feel sorry for which ever one of you works... (assuming one/both of you work)

Coming home and spending 4 hours between 2 adults to clean a house in one stretch everyday is crazy! Surely that isn't your day to day life OP?
I am not trying to offend but I really do view that as such a waste of precious time. I chart up a big weekly clean once a week but will hoover, attend to the kitchen and do other little bits each day. Maximum time spent cleaning on a daily basis (on my own) is around 1 hour? Bare in mind, that hour is broken up throughout the day. I clean what needs cleaning and will do it as quickly as I can. I have better things to do.

It sounds like you both have quite a lot of anxiety and it's manifesting itself in excessive cleaning. I've been there and it was very difficult to face up to and address. I had to address it because it was just too gruelling and it was concealing the real issues I had.

One thing I realised was that when I did the cleaning I never believed it was clean, so I had to do it all again the next day. It blurred the lines between daily, weekly and monthly tasks - it all became daily tasks and this is what you seem to have done too.

In the end we got a cleaner, she does the things I deem weekly or monthly tasks and then I just do a quick tidy and wipe down on a night. It's made life a lot easier.

Seriously, you need to look at the issues behind this and address them. Life is too short to spend every night cleaning.

Seriously, thats an insane amount of housework to be doing everyday! I would think that was fine if you were doing it once a week! Maybe twice a week?

I have a cleaner who comes once a week - I dont do any other cleaning!! She changes the beds and does bathrooms, hoovers and mops etc. I do the washing and hang out every day (mostly) and general tidying up most of the day plus a big tidy after bed time. Kitchen is wiped down and swept after most meals. Hoovering done on an as and when basis if needed.

tips for making it less crummy and messy: only let them eat at the table, sweep up after meals so they cant be tracked through, no shoes in house, try and chuck a few toys away as you go. Thats it! Relax!

Do you really both feel happier busying yourself, cleaning separate rooms in the house, rather than sitting down together and relaxing on the couch?

God I'm so glad I'm of a slatternly nature. When I'm on my deathbed I surely won't be wishing I'd just bleached the bathroom a little more often!