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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To spend a whole day cleaning each week when I am looking after my two young dcs?

95 replies

Littleonesgettingbigger · 09/04/2015 18:19

I have two dcs under 5, one only a year and a half old, I have tried cleaning little and often which hasn't worked as I'm constantly spotting things that need doing so can't relax, and tried cleaning in their one hour nap time each day, but to be honest I need that time to recharge and it's the only break I get so I feel miserable if I loose my one hour to clean. I tried last week blitzing the house on a Monday, it took me 5 hours Shock that included hoovering everywhere including moving furniture and doing skirting boards, mopping, dusting, tidying, three bathrooms etc, four bedrooms, office etc. the dcs seemed ok pottering about for the day, obviously I had a break to give them lunch and get them off for a nap. Would I be unreasonable to to this every week with two children who are so small? Does anyone else have a cleaning day?

OP posts:
DPotter · 09/04/2015 22:32

Washing your skirting boards every week, moving the furniture to hoover - every week. Please - life is too short for this. if missing an hour's worth of cleaning time is making you anxious, could it be that the cleaning is taking control and possibly becoming something a little near obsession ?

Philoslothy · 09/04/2015 23:04

I agree that you don't need to wash skirting boards every week but you can run a Hoover over them. Moving furniture need not be a big deal if you have space. Harder if the room is cramped.

KwaziisEyepatch · 09/04/2015 23:28

You won't lie on your death-bed regretting not hoovering under the sofa more. You might regret not spending more quality time with your kids, they're not tiny for long. I'd reprioritise if I were you.

I've recently cut down the amount of time I spend doing housework when I'm with the kids (and it was way way way less than you do OP, let me assure you!). I don't want to be 'boring mummy who's always cleaning the loo'. I want to be fun mummy!

Philoslothy · 09/04/2015 23:55

I am fun mummy. I am awake for about 16-18 hours a day, leaves plenty of time to play with my children.

esiotrot2015 · 10/04/2015 00:00

It reads a bit like a stealth boast

3 bathrooms , poor you Wink

DisappointedOne · 10/04/2015 00:17

I have 4. ;)

Philoslothy · 10/04/2015 00:21

Pisses over thread, I have eight.

Desperrado · 10/04/2015 00:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsGuyGarvey · 10/04/2015 01:03

I also have three bathrooms and two kitchens (not Mrs M), 5 beds etc three dc's and a couple of dogs. I don't like the house to be messy or dirty, but frankly life is too short and cleaning is too boring to spend any more time than necessary on it. I probably average 30 - 45 mins a day, the bathrooms are cleaning, there's no dust. In fact dd2 told me today that our house was the tidiest of all her friends (at 13 this is a bad thing).

Really life is for living not cleaning.

Plarail123 · 10/04/2015 01:14

If your house is that big, you can afford a cleaner once or twice a week.

Philoslothy · 10/04/2015 01:19

I can afford a cleaner but I feel very uncomfortable with paying somebody else to do housework so we don't have one. I have struggled in pregnancy and we hired one short term but it was a last resort. I also want my children to grow up having had to pick up their own crap and scrub their own toilet.

I come from the kind of background where we clean other people's houses, we don't hire cleaners.

Bettercallsaul1 · 10/04/2015 01:27

If you want to do a weekly blitz on the house, and you can keep your children happy while you do it, I say go ahead! If you hate mess and find it a distraction, then you may well feel much more relaxed for the rest of the week and be able to focus properly on the children. It is very important that you are happy with the balance of your life as this transmits unerringly to your children: a happy mum = happy kids!

I also think Monday is the best day of the week for your cleaning. After the weekend, when you have probably been busy with family activities, a day of pottering about - some TV, some unstructured play and chat with you as you work- will do them no harm at all! Children of any age shouldn't have to be entertained all the time: a bit of down-time spurs their imagination and lets them develop the invaluable skill of entertaining themselves!

You've still got six days left to give them your undivided attention!

Plarail123 · 10/04/2015 08:17

No social mobility for your kids then.

NickyEds · 10/04/2015 08:45

I have a cleaning day, usually Friday so the place is decent for the weekend. I have a 16 month old and he sort of potters about with me whilst I do it, but then my house is small (only one bathroom Shock!) All this "ignoring your kids, let the place get dusty, life's too short" crap gets my goat. Who wants to live in a dirty house?? I'm not talking deep cleaning just, you know, a clean bathroom! I'm a SAHM. Ds gets plenty of my attention so it really isn't a case of either missing my kids childhood and living in a clean house or spending precious time with them and live in a mess, I think you can do a bit of both. And I'm a bit lazy.

frankbough · 10/04/2015 08:59

I did this twice a week when I was doing the SAHP job, headphones on, you tube video on, clean away, used to take about 5 hrs ish, with a rest in between.. Both kids under four..
Now the kids are at nursery and I'm back working, it's down to once a week, with kitchen surfaces clean and dishes done daily...
I also make very meal during the week again with the headphones on..

Can't live in a tip, plus I get to listen to music for five hrs non stop, and whilst I'm cooking, it's all very cathartic...

Philoslothy · 10/04/2015 09:47

No social mobility for your kids then.

There is plenty of social mobility where it matters, we just pick up our own shit.

sebsmummy1 · 10/04/2015 09:51

I have a big cleaning day once a week, on a weekend day while DP looks after DS. I love it, do much more satisfying that a little bit here and there (though I do that too). Nothing better than sitting my arse on the sofa at 5pm with a cup of tea looking around at a sparkly house with ALL the cushions still on the sofa until DS gets home. Bliss lol.

Immovableobject · 10/04/2015 09:51

Oh God, my house is too bloody big to keep on top of (9 bedrooms Blush ) I just blitz it when I know someone's coming over. Mind you I do ignore a big chunk of it, but not as badly as a previous owner who shut up most of the house, just living in the kitchen and bedroom over, for 25 years!!
I pay the dcs to tidy their own rooms at 3 and 6 but clearly have low standards (3 yo puts everything under her bed Grin )

Please don't inspect my skirting or the tops of my doors....

muminhants · 10/04/2015 09:55

I think most of you would be appalled if you came into my house. It is dusty. I don't have carpet downstairs so don't need to hoover and just sweep up twice a week or more often if I bring mud in etc. We don't wear shoes in the house so don't need to hoover upstairs very often. Bathroom gets cleaned when it looks like it needs it. Kitchen gets cleaned when it looks like it needs it. (Cooking and) Ironing takes priority in my house - my husband has a thing about crisp shirts so does his own, I do the rest.

Someone upthread said they spend three hours a DAY on housework. I suspect I spend 3 hours a month, not including cooking/clearing up afterwards.

DidoTheDodo · 10/04/2015 09:59

Yes I have a cleaning day. It's Saturday because I'm at work all week.
Cleaning is a sad fact of life.
The standard to which you do that cleaning is up to you.

Bettercallsaul1 · 10/04/2015 10:00

It is very important that people set their own standards and do what they ate happy with.

This is one area where there are genuinely no rules.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 10/04/2015 10:06

I have 3 young ones. I probably do at least an hour of cleaning a day, because the house gets filthy very very quickly with small children constantly in and out the house and playing all over (plus 2 cats!)

I think 2x decent cleans (ie, tidied everywhere, floors done surfaces wiped, bathroom and kitchen wiped) is a good minimum and would probably take 2-3hrs each time.

The idea of doing one area deeper each week is a good idea but tbh I never get around to it. Instead I tend to hoover the high traffic area as often as I can to stop dirt tracking through the house and meaning more cleaning later on.

It's completely normal to me to clean while your children are potering around and if they get bored ask them to help you. My children are perfectly capable of playing by themselves, but I have always expected them to amuse themselves if I had work to do and maybe that makes a difference.

Bettercallsaul1 · 10/04/2015 10:09

Sorry, are

TeWiSavesTheDay · 10/04/2015 10:11

In case it wasn't clear, I think your plan is fine and I'm glad you've found something that works for you.

manchestermummy · 10/04/2015 10:21

YANBU to clean but five hours Shock!

I clean when the dds are about. I actually think it does them good to see that the house doesn't get clean by magic. They are the messiest children on earth, but at least they can see that the Cleaning Fairies don't actually exist.

I sweep twice daily: mucky floors are the one thing I get obsessive about.

Sometimes they like to help me. The garden was full of leaves that needed clearing, so the three of us turned it into a project the other day. We had fun!