Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ignore a stammer.

30 replies

SummerHouse · 08/04/2015 12:47

DS 1 is five. His stammer disappeared overnight 6 months ago and came back in the same way last week.

I am utterly torn. As the NHS waiting time was so long, we saw a private therapist. Then we thought we may as well see the NHS therapist as well.

Each gave a totally opposite approach.

  1. ignored it. Never correct it or draw attention to it. Make sure others don't. Minimise situations that make it worse. He will grow out of it.

  2. the lidcombe technique. 1 in 4 stammers get him to repeate stammered word. Praise "smooth" talking. Point out "bumpy" talking.

We tried this for 6 weeks or so before the stammer disappeared. I found it a continual struggle in terms of questioning myself that it was right.

I have no issue with the stammer other than it might bother him in the future and life is tough enough.

My heart says to ignore it. Has anyone any experience?

OP posts:
SummerHouse · 08/04/2015 20:32

For him its excitement and wanting to be heard. DS 2 has just turned 3 and the stammer came back on the day of his party. He often struggles to get DS 2's attention and will stammer on his name a lot.

OP posts:
SummerHouse · 08/04/2015 20:54

Thanks for that thread Orlando. Amazingly its been nearly 3 weeks since the stammer came back. I went into denial mode and did not mention it to DP at all. Just mentioned it now as he has asked what I am looking at and he had literally no idea the stammer was back!

OP posts:
leeloo1 · 09/04/2015 08:04

I'd respectfully disagree with duplodon - i don't think you can control the kids resilience to teasing etc - also you can't be with them 100% of the time to stop people finishing their sentence, getting frustrated with them, not choosing them to answer in class when the teacher knows there's only 2 minutes til playtime Etc etc etc.

Life is hard enough without quickly fixing something that could really make a child feel frustrated, excluded and less confident.

Summerhouse - as your ds has already had success with lidcombe then I'm certain it'll be a quick tweak to resolve this relapse. I definitely sympathise with the cost though - i dread to think how much we spent (at 75 a session) on ds, but I often think it was money well spent as I feel it changed ds' life.

duplodon · 09/04/2015 08:57

The problem is, Leeloo, 75% of stammering in under 5's resolves naturally anyway or goes away only to resurface and the evidence that's most robust for Lidcombe is in this population. The prevalence of confirmed stammering in adults is somewhere in the region of 1-2%. So, for me, it's not about not doing something that is quick and easy and will fix a lifelong problem, it's about whether in our specific case, we are dealing with an actual current problem or a slight possibility of a future problem. There is a world of difference in solving an actual problem as opposed to a hypothetical problem.

The research currently can't tell us who will go on to be in that 1-2% and who won't, so the ethics of 'do something now' and 'do nothing now' is not always clear, and differs based on case to case, on all sorts of variables. This is why I do think it's important to have an assessment, and it sounds in this case, this little boy's needs have been assessed differently according to two different therapists, which sort of reflects that this isn't always clear cut.

I have to say my boy had a much more severe stammer at 2-3 which involved far more frequent syllable repetitions and some other disruptions, and since then it has followed a pattern of emerging at times of language shift (when he's moving up a level with talking) and then just going. As he is in school now, it is more likely - but not definite by any means, especially under seven - that it will hang around, but essentially he is stammering without struggle or is what some call a 'fluent stammerer' and it tends to be only when he's very tired or excited that it's really obvious to others.

I have obviously employed a wide variety of strategies to support this with a goal and value of making communication enjoyable for him, so though he's had no formal intervention, I'm aware he also hasn't exactly had the same experience as someone else who maybe doesn't come to parenting a child who stammers with a lot of experience of and knowledge of stammering, especially as parental understanding of stammering is such a large part of intervention. Also, my thinking is entirely based on his current presentation, and I've obviously had fluency formulations done by some colleagues who specialise in stammering (my specialist area is autism and language impairment, though I'm obviously qualified to intervene with stammering too).

It comes down to this: whose problem is it? Right now, it's not a problem for us, it's not a problem for him.. So intervening would be to prevent it being a problem for others in case this then becomes a problem for him.. Which to my mind, is like insisting on contacts for young children as glasses will make you get bullied or dying ginger hair.

SummerHouse · 09/04/2015 18:43

I am so grateful to you both leeloo and duplo. Although I am at square one I see now that I am beating myself up over a decision that is not at all clear cut. I have always struggled with decisions and my angst is always helped when that decision is made. I feel like we have had to make this decision twice now and I never felt it was right the first time round. I think essentially there is no right way. I think I will give it a few weeks. If the right time presents I will ask him if he wants to do smooth talking time again. He will remember I am sure. But I feel like the pressure is off. Thank you all for replies. Flowers

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page