To wonder if race/religion ignorance will ever end?

[WonderingWonder]

I'm British Pakistani and was brought up in a time when I feel racism and ignorance surrounding our race and religion in our city was generally quite high (mid 80's - mid 90's). I found myself ashamed of my heritage for a large part of my life until I went to university and found that different races could mix and not judge or be ignorant of one another. Even at work I've never found race or religion to be relevant to anyone.

Since having my dd and her starting school I genuinely thought things had changed and have invited children around for play dates and to parties to only find they're declined or not reciprocated for dd. Many times dd and her other Muslim Asian friends in her class are left out of party invites. Its very obvious the brown Muslims are being left out as there's only 4. I find this really disheartening, not only for dd, but for me because I believe in 2015 this shouldn't be happening.

When things like this happen, I really feel like segregating myself and dd. But then that's not what I want to teach her. She also tells me how the same group of white children in her class make comments to her about her black hair, and hair on her legs and one girl (who has red hair herself, so is a possible target for bullying) often tells dd that white skin is better than brown skin. Where would a 7 year old learn this from?!

AIBU to think racial and religious ignorance will never fully go away and I should just accept that and stop getting upset about it.

crazykat your posts seem to be implying that I don't feel racism against white children is as serious which is not what I think at all.

My OP talks about my own experiences of how racism/ignorance has affected me. I can't talk about white people being the target of racism because it's not something I've ever experienced. If I did, I'd still be dismayed. Your posts come across as inflammatory (I'm sure you don't mean to) by saying that racist comments to white children aren't dealt with appropriately and that's a problem. To me, it sounds like a perfect excuse to let the racism carry on, on both sides because "if they're not punished then meh!"
You also say children play with people they are most like. I find that complete and utter crap tbh. There are plenty of other white/black/Asian children in dd's school who will happily play together and not make racist remarks. It sounds like you're not very positive about multiculturalism.

Even with the comparing of skin colour and different eyes, I still never made any racist comments to white people and neither does dd because it's not in our nature.

The problem in Dd's school isn't of the Asian people bullying the white children. It's the other way around. It's Something I thought had changed but it's still the same even after 30 years, and this is what my OP is about.

blackmama the school is very diverse, but DD's year group seems to be not so much.

I do think the school should be more proactive on this. I live in a relatively affluent and mixed ethnically area of London. My DS is white and has friends of various colours and nationalities, both at school and for play dates party invites etc. It's the same with the rest of his classmates. Maybe it's partly as it is so mixed that there is no dominant group? I don't know? The school certainly actively celebrates all cultures and does something for all the major religious festivals ( it's not a religious school ).
I thought it was the norm for London but maybe my DS and his classmates have been lucky.

WonderingWonder , crazycatdid not say any of the things you seem to think she did.

What she said was that racism should be dealt with in the same way no matter who is being racist.

She also mentioned that in HER experience - just as valid as yours - the school were differentiating between types of racism.

Several others have mentioned that kids tend to gravitate towards people that they have something in common with, whether it is culture, hobbies, personality type or whatever.

No-one is belittling your experience - it is your experience - but others' experiences are valid too

Wondering, I'm not trying to imply that at all and if it comes across that way I apologise. Just as you're giving your personal experience of racism so am I. I'm giving my experience of racism both when I was the victim and how it's been delt with at my dcs school. Fortunately the new head seems to have a better ethos in this regard in that no racist comments will be tolerated from any child at the school.

What I'm trying to say is that all racism should be delt with severely no matter who the perpetrator is.

My personal experience is that racism from white people is delt with more severely than racism towards white people.

It's not crap that in general people are drawn towards those that have something in common with them, it happens every day in all situations.

Crazykat, the OP never said it wasn't a problem if racism was directed at white children. The thread title is To wonder if race/religion ignorance will ever end? In what way is that saying different sorts of racism should be treated differently?

By the way when my eldest child started school his two best friends were an Indian boy and a black African boy. He is white with blue eyes. I have never noticed that children naturally gravitate towards children the same colour, if that happens I think it happens later, at this age they don't usually care in my experience.

Completely know what you mean op. In retrospect I can see that this happened at my primary school - I'm white and I do remember my Indian origin best friend not being invited to parties. I had a conversation with the sister of a friend of mine - a very trendy, thirty something designer, white, talking about why she moved to Richmond from North london. Too many brown faces in the local schools where she used to live apparently. Said in an awful coy whisper as if she was sharing a terribly naughty secret that I would did really amusing. I told her how appalled I was, conversation ended pretty quickly. But it just blew me away how unabashed she was at sharing that - how many other people must she have said it to (this was the only time if met her). Yanbu op and I'm sorry that it's like this.

I didn't say that the op said that different sorts of racism should be treated differently. I have my experience of racism which is that racism towards white people is treated different to racism from white people. This is my experience.

I also said that all kinds of racism should be delt with severely as it's abhorrent no matter who it's directed at.