Sil begging for our money

[msgilbertblythe]

So my sil has just bought a house, totally over stretched herself. She has always laughed at 'swotty people' and tells me my son is treated badly because I buy him 'boring books' despite her terrible behaviour in school netting her a really crap job. Really cool. Her boyfriend is the same. So there they are, sitting in this house they can ill afford, buying the most expensive gadgets, the best baby gear for their kid etc, and as soon as they run into financial trouble come running to my soft touch of a husband to borrow cash to pay for their water leak and their broken alarm. Now we're in the midst of a mortgage application and need to show evidence of hard unbroken savings, plus we have exhorbitant rent to pay, we have a child and another on the way plus all our other monthly outgoings. But because we're responsible, have good jobs, my husband's whole family see us as loaded. They all think nothing of going out and spending hundreds of pounds on booze, they are BIG drinkers. So, aibu to tell my husband not to lend his 29 year old sister money for her responsibilities, or am I a mean cow?

Repayed?? Repaid. Thank you.

OP, tell your DH, that it comes out of HIS money and if he has no money after all the bills are paid. Tough shit then.

I'd be really fucked off if DH gave his sister money if I was PH/had DC, I don't care what for.
Does she naturally fall into a manipulative/dependent role in their relationship?

It's the 'she didn't behave at school & has got a shit job & is a big drinker ' that suggests you can't stand her

The lending money thing is your soft arsed husband 's problem !

Yanbu but your problem isn't your SIL its your DH.

Go to a solicitor to draw up a letter saying she owes the money.

My solicitor was ADAMANT that we SHOULD NOT lend to a family member (but we did and have not been paid back) which is a bit of a wake up call for your DH and his sis, plus it makes it clear they owe you the money, plus they can't pretend it's not happened.

I would hope you could do this without too many family members having tantrums, it's better than nothing.

I agree the DH is the problem here.

Of course it wont be the last time.

Because despite the huge argument and you saying no, he does it anyway and you carry on putting up with it.

You are living with a man who is happy to give (let's be honest it isn't a loan) money that you worked hard for, saved for a house/future to his wastrel of a sister and will carry on doing so.

If it joint money, I would refuse to consent.

No way would I lend money. Do you ever get it back?