To expect ds (5) to entertain himself for half an hour.

[Notmymuse]

I love him but he's driving me up the wall. He cannot, and never has, occupied himself and now that he wants to play football all the time (with someone) he's even worse.

This has been our week:

Monday - swimming lesson first thing, then park, then cinema.
Tuesday - swimming lesson then local museum with activities for kids, then walk in the woods
Wednesday - swimming lesson then safari park with friends
Thursday - swimming lesson, then we had a few errands to run so did that and then we went to soft play and out for dinner.
Friday - we went a huge outdoor museum which had plenty of children's activities and were there all day.
Saturday - went to Blenheim palace and ds went on the fair and did the Easter trail.
Sunday - ds had an Easter egg hunt and then we went out for lunch and then he went to mil's.
Monday - we went to a local garden cebtre in the morning with one set if friends, then to soft play with another set and then out to dinner.
And today we've been out all day at a local arboretum with some more friends. We've just got home, I'm knackered and my house is a tip and ds is whinging that he's bored and wants to play football. I've told him to go in the garden and practice scoring but he wants me to go with him and play properly.
I know it's mainly because he's an only child so he has no one to play with and k feel very guilty about that but it's an unchangable situation unfortunately. Also because dh is away so much with work (all this week and most of last week) it all falls on me entertaining ds wise. I've tried to see friends as much as possible so ds has someone to play with. We are seeing some more friends tomorrow for another play date and Thursday we are going to a theme park. Friday I plan to take ds swimming again and Saturday we have another play date. So he's hardly hard done by but I still feel so guilty when he moans he's bored.

Otoh I need to do some ironing! I've stuck ds in front of the iPad which is the only thing which buys me any peace (limited peace) and am about to attempt to do some now but I already feel guilty that he's sat in front of an iPad all isolated.

Do you have a football net/goal?

He's in year 1 - summer born.
He's never really played with toys although he has plenty. He won't do lego and struggles with it because he has very poor fine motor and eyesight. This makes doing a lot of things a bit tricky I guess. The iPad is backlit which seems to help.

Sorry but I think you are actually stifling his imagination by overloading him with so many activities that he doesn't even have a minute to think up something if he is bored. Ignore his whinging, he will at the point of sheer boredom think of something.
You shouldn't feel guilty because he doesn't have sibling, many kids are in the same boat.

I'd also limit ipad usage, just because although they can be educational, it's another form of entertainment which doesn't really require much input. He needs to learn to make up his own activities.

I think you need too let him be, he will be spoiled ..life isn't meant to be exciting all the time.

What about one of those tethered football game things? Like this sort of thing?

Practice keepy-uppys? Watch Youtube for ideas about solo training?

Or another individual activity my 5yo loved was stacking cups - again, Youtube videos for inspiration, but ordinary party cups from the supermarket work well.

My dd is 3.5 and very demanding, when I sit down on the sofa shes climbing on top of me practically wanting me to play with something with her, she is an only child as well so I too have had that guilt! But I agree with pp, they must learn to entertain themselves, it's very important. I have to listen to a hell of a lot of whinging and crying beforehand but I don't give in and she eventually finds something to do!
I understand how you feel op, it must be difficult if he is a big lad that loves to be on the go.

Are you his Mum or his entertainments manager
Here are a few ideas, please take on board anything that appeals and discard what doesn't.

Have things in the garden he can play with or play on like a small trampoline with a balance bar to hold onto if his co-ordination's not great, a solo tennis pole with a ball on a rope and a bat, a football that you attach to a strong elastic that goes around his other leg, juggling balls, quoits, ninepins (helps with counting too) swing, slide,

Encourage his imaginative play, shops, DIY bench, kitchen, Could he be a for 10 minutes. Give him books that will interest him, what's his reading level? Ask him to make up a story. Can he paint pictures to go with the story? Can he look at a picture and tell you a story about it?
Can he help you make a list of things in a cupboard (helps naming and counting skills)
This site has some very easy to create indoor and outdoor activities which can be done alone or with mum or friends.
happyhooligans.ca/homemade-giant-bubbles/
Apparrently the most played-with item on the site is a bucket with the handle tied to a string looped over a branch, it can be filled with a host of objects, and emptied and hoisted and lowered and is endlessly entertaining.
happyhooligans.ca/a-bucket-and-a-rope/

I'm an only one, dd's an only one and neither of us have had our lives full of back-to-back activities.

Mine is the same, he's six and getting better. Reading, writing and a boost in confidence/skill at drawing have been the turning points.

I don't fill up his time with activities. His screen time is limited, but he does get a lot. Like you it's a guarantee of peace! We try to encourage him to do different things on the tablet rather than just games or TV - Lightbox coding app is good and so is Dragonbox maths, they're not gimmicky, but actually quite entertaining.

He does moan about being expected to entertain himself, especially if he's had a lot of screen time and then suddenly has less. Sometimes I go and do stuff with him, but often I want him to entertain himself more and he's got much better the more chance he's had.

It helped a lot recently when we weeded out his toys. So go through his room in categories (1. books, 2. activity/puzzle books + art and craft stuff, 3. games and "sets" (science kit, jigsaw puzzle, rubix cube type things, board games etc), 4. "pretend" toys (toy food, tool set, farm, cars, etc), 5. "building" toys (lego, marble run, train set thing), 6. dressing up stuff and gadgets (torch, measuring tape etc) and then 7. other or misc. You could add an "outdoor toys" category if you have a garden, we don't.) Soft toys don't count because they aren't really for playing, they're more friends. But add to "pretend" if he does play games with them.

Ask what they want to keep rather than what they want to get rid of. Get him to pick out his favourite (one, or three or five) and then a few more he wants to keep. I found that DS is a lot more likely to actually play with his toys when they aren't swamped in things he's outgrown or never really liked to begin with. (I haven't finished all of the categories yet but will soon). Then I also give him ideas for things to do when he feels bored - you could read, you could write a story, paint, draw, colour, build a marble run, do competitions with your cars, play a board game with your soft toys, I taught him a couple of single player card games too, and now he will moan for a bit but then go off and actually do something. And DH has found that his fallback of "You can stay in your room until you clean it" now has zero effect because DS is perfectly happy to sit in there for hours playing with a bouncy ball, then a train track, then a book, then back to the ball again

I agree that you're actually doing too much! He's used to being entertained all the time, so when you're busy, it comes as a shock and he doesn't know what to do with himself. You seem to to averaging 3 'big' activities a day! I'd try to limit it to 1 and have more 'free' time. Also, there's nothing wrong with a little bit of iPad time!