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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really boot of when I did?

25 replies

MustBeLoopy390 · 07/04/2015 11:18

Long story short, I have had problems with my weight for a long time, I'm by no means slim but also not overly large for my frame. I have pcos which makes any and all weight loss attempts harder. I'm also now 26 weeks pregnant with dc3. Yesterday at a family BBQ, my mil was talking to me about my pregnancy and I mentioned I was rather proud of the fact I haven't gained a lot of weight and have only seemed to gain a bump and some very Dolly Parton-esque boobs Grin my SIL's husband decided to laugh and state very loudly that I am deluded, and he hasn't ever met anyone so insistent they are of average weight when they are so clearly obese! I flew off the handle admittedly, telling him it takes a big man to pick on a pregnant woman about her weight and told SIL not to bother bringing 'that inconsiderate arse' to anything else I organise as this isn't the first time we've had comments about things! I'm feeling rather guilty this morning about it though and I'm thinking of apologising to SIL for booting off. AIBU in the fact I want this man to either stop making offensive comments or just not bother 'gracing' us with his negative presence?

OP posts:
AwfulBeryl · 07/04/2015 11:22

He sounds like a twat. Yanbu, sorry he made you feel like shit Thanks
I don't think you need to apologise to sil, unless you had a go at her.

I would be really embarrassed if was her, is he horrible to everyone ?

Original poster
MustBeLoopy390 · 07/04/2015 11:23

Off* not of! Must find my glasses Blush

OP posts:
BananaDrama34 · 07/04/2015 11:24

YANBU and should not apologise - he's an arse!!

Original poster
MustBeLoopy390 · 07/04/2015 11:25

Awful he's known for comments to all our family (MIL's side, my dm refuses to have anything to do with him despite her being close with SIL as we have been close since college) it's getting to a breaking point with pretty much all of us now.

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 07/04/2015 11:26

So he basically said you were obese and deluded. Nice manners. YANBU to ban him from events at your house if he's rude to you. Are you ever rude to him?

AlpacaMyBags · 07/04/2015 11:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThingummyJigg · 07/04/2015 11:28

Do NOT apologise.

He is a rude inconsiderate nob.

Griphook · 07/04/2015 11:30

No leave it as it is, he was rude. Let him stew and make if he apologises re think but you have nothing to apologise about

LittleBairn · 07/04/2015 11:31

YANBU arses like that are like that because people let them away with it well done for putting him in his place.
Unless I got an apology from him, he would no longer be invited to family events I organised.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 07/04/2015 11:34

Why should you apologise!. Anyone would go nuclear if a prick spoke to them like that. Especially when you're pregnant and hormonal. Big brave tough man picking on a pregnant women, but pregnant or not no women or indeed anyone deserves to be insulted like that.
Don't you even think about apologising. !!

5Foot5 · 07/04/2015 13:14

YANBU at all.

How did he react when you put him in his place?

Does your SIL make excuses for him? I was just wondering if he was one of those arseholes who is routinely rude but people say "Oh that is just X, he says what he thinks" instead of challenging their rude behaviour every time it happens.

TheChandler · 07/04/2015 13:20

Well, he was rude, but maybe (trying to find some reasons for what he said) you talk a lot about your figure and how good it is, and he is fed up hearing it?

I wouldn't tend to talk about my figure or my appearance at all (especially not the size of my boobs) - it seems a bit too attention seeking to me, nobody is probably that interested, and since everyone can see what you look like anyway, it seems a bit pointless.

User5456563345 · 07/04/2015 13:21

Of course you should not apologise. He should. His opinion wasn't sought, and what he said was deeply offensive. Let what you said stand. He minds his manners or stays at home.

Quitelikely · 07/04/2015 13:24

I think it's great that you stood up for yourself.

Is your weight a regular topic of discussion at these gatherings?

hippymama1 · 07/04/2015 13:25

Mustbe YANBU - I think he got off lightly to be honest - there would have been bloodshed if someone would have said that to a lot of other people... Well done you for sticking up for yourself. Grin

Teeste · 07/04/2015 13:31

PCOS and pregnant here too - he's lucky he escaped with his testicular integrity, if you ask me! Grin

Discopanda · 07/04/2015 15:08

Wow, what a f*cking dick. Don't apologise, your SIL should be making him grovel for forgiveness.

Instituteofstudies · 07/04/2015 16:14

well done for challenging such incredible rudeness. If there's any apologising to be done here, its not by you.

Original poster
MustBeLoopy390 · 07/04/2015 17:08

Owl, I felt rather rude calling him an inconsiderate arse tbh but I normally avoid him at all costs.
5foot it's a 'it's just the way he is' kind of thing from SIL, he's said some pretty awful stuff but it just tends to get brushed under the rug.
Thechandler I don't talk much about me at all, but mil was saying about how small I look (barring bump) this time and I mentioned I was quite proud of keeping a healthier weight but getting the perks of pregnancy lol

OP posts:
gobbin · 07/04/2015 17:11

Arseholes continue to be arseholes unless they get called out on it. At least he won't be an arsehole in your presence again, one wold hope.

maliaki · 07/04/2015 19:38

Inconsiderate arse is a nicer name then him then he probably deserves...better he is distanced.

TheAnswerIsYes · 08/04/2015 01:36

Good for you on calling him on it. He should be apologising to you and if he doesn't then fuck him. You don't need people like that in your life.

JessieMcJessie · 08/04/2015 03:14

"boot off"? Is that a new expression, like "kick off"? That aside, YWNBU at all [Grin].

PerpendicularVincenzo · 08/04/2015 08:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MustBeLoopy390 · 08/04/2015 20:08

Jessie where I am it's boot off lol :)
Perpendicular I have no idea but I'd love to meet them

SIL text today apologising for his behaviour, I guess we know when he's being a dick if we don't back down we will now eventually get an apology!

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