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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To send her home right now?

64 replies

ICallConnerie · 06/04/2015 22:37

DD had a friend over last night.

They were the usual giggly shrieking teenagers and kept me up until gone midnight. Fine because I had today off work.

This girl was supposed to go home today but her mother couldn't be contacted all day so I fed the girl and agreed to a second night after they promised to be silent and sleeping by 10 tonight. We have an early start tomorrow as I need to get the kids to a friends so she can watch them. And I have a very very hectic day catching up on the long weekend.

Needless to say, they are being noisy and frankly a bit cheeky when I've gone in to tell them to STFU go to sleep.

I've just had a look on her mums FB and alas, she had been sleeping off a major bender at a friends and is now home according to her hilarious updates for those wondering where the hell she was... she seems to have forgotten to get in touch to check her daughter is ok though

WIBU to pack her off home in a taxi this late at night? I really need to sleep!

OP posts:

QueenB14 · 07/04/2015 08:29

It was half past 10 baby hardly 3 in the morning and op had work today that's why I'd be sending her home (I did say in my post though no later) it's not all that much later than most 15 year olds curfews in the holidays anyway, I used to go to an under 18s disco things at that age and get myself home

ohtheholidays · 07/04/2015 08:37

Hope you they went quiet for you OP and that you managed to get them up and dropped of okay before work.

I'd just be careful in the future,the Mum sounds like a chancer and if she's got away with it once I'm sure she'll try it again.

I speak from experience!

straighttothepoint · 07/04/2015 08:43

Cheeky cow - the mum! Be careful she doesn't make this a regular thing. Poor girl.

AlwaysDancing1234 · 07/04/2015 08:48

I've been that kid where the mum is too busy having her own fun to worry about the kids. She may be trying to act "not bothered" but I bet she is underneath.
Fair enough teenagers on a sleepover are silly but I'd tell both of them to behave or friend could sleep on the sofa.
I hope you let her stay but make it clear to mother and daughter the child is welcome but this nonsense is not acceptable in future.

nunkspugget · 07/04/2015 09:17

God, I feel bad if I take too long having a wee when I've asked someone to hold my baby! How these people can enjoy their nights out knowing they have massively imposed on someone I'll never understand!

Satsumafairy · 07/04/2015 09:19

Agreed nuns, it's really rude and irresponsible. I would just add though that 15 is quite grown up. I'd hope Dd would be capable of getting herself home in the morning at that age, depending on the distance obviously!

Patapouf · 07/04/2015 10:34

I feel so sad for that girl, her mother has behaved disgustingly. Imagine the outrage if her DD had been younger, and quite frankly I don't think shirking responsibilities when she's 15 is okay either.

OnlyLovers · 07/04/2015 10:37

That poor girl. I don't think I'd have been as kind as you, OP; I'd probably have phoned her and demanded she come to pick up her child.

popalot · 07/04/2015 11:07

At least you gave the girl somewhere to stay and a giggly, happy easter weekend whilst her mother went off and got drunk. It's probably a regular occurance in this girl's life as she seemed to know her mum was 'probably drunk somewhere'. I'd hate to be that teenage girl. She's vulnerable to all sorts of abuse at that age with a mother who leaves her places and doesn't bother to call. You gave her a little safe haven for the weekend.

Original poster

ICallConnerie · 07/04/2015 16:10

Just thought I'd give a quick update:

The girls did go to sleep and weren't too bad to get up in the morning once I'd let several smalls loose in the room :)

Dropped off the girl on the way to work this morning. Took 15 minutes of buzzing to get her to open the door. I had kind of anticipated that and made sure we left early enough to allow for it luckily bit anal about being late

Mum finally appeared looking like death warmed up. All "OMG I cannot believe how much I had to drink, what an amazing night! LOL LOL"

Not one sorry, not one thank you. I stood silently (eyebrows raised to the sky probably!) And just said "right" in the most unimpressed voice I could manage. She didn't seem to notice.

Said to the girl "You know where we are if you get locked out all day again love" And left because I was getting a bit frustrated by then!

Any future sleepovers will only be allowed if I know I'm not working and very firm plans to drop off at a certain time are in place but I'm not rushing to agree to anything soon!

OP posts:

nunkspugget · 07/04/2015 16:42

Id send her a bill. Dream up a few outrageous costs and send it to her titled 'costs of being a crap mum'.

woowoo22 · 07/04/2015 17:03

That is bloody awful What kind of person does that??

Fisharefriendsnotfood · 07/04/2015 17:28

Poor child. It's not being cool it's being a shit mum

AlwaysDancing1234 · 07/04/2015 19:20

What a cow, she could have at least been apologetic. Feel so sorry for her poor DD

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