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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

annual leave

48 replies

ACSlater · 05/04/2015 23:39

I suppose this isn't really AIBU but bear with me.

This has been brought about by a lady on maternity who also has school aged children. She is due back (after AL) in late July.

A round robin email was sent a few months back to everyone to see who wants leave during school holidays and this lady was included. She didn't request any leave in the holidays but is now unhappy that parents haven't received priority. Everything has been first come first served.

I'm not that bothered either way as even if we parents had priority we couldn't have all holidays.

How does everyone else feel?

OP posts:
PuntasticUsername · 05/04/2015 23:44

If she was included on the email the same as everyone else, SIBU not to have got her bid in at the time and to expect to be able to trump everyone else's leave requests just because she's a parent. As you say, not all the parents can have leave over the school holidays as it is. If she hadn't been notified then that'd be another matter, but she was.

CalleighDoodle · 05/04/2015 23:45

I dont understand why people who (a) are not teachers and (b) dont have children, would want tk have their holiday in achool holidays, and pay far far more!

Original poster
ACSlater · 05/04/2015 23:47

In our case it tends to be because of bank holidays. You effectively get an extra week leave if you book all the bank hols.

I do see where she is coming from

OP posts:
IFinishedTheBiscuits · 05/04/2015 23:49

If she's only just back from mat leave, and annual leave, also think she's being unreasonable by expecting first choice for summer hols too?

ilovesooty · 05/04/2015 23:49

ACSlater beat me to it. I book my main holiday to include August Bank holiday in order to maximise annual leave.

CalleighDoodle · 05/04/2015 23:51

Ah! I didnt think
Of that.

MadAsgardian · 05/04/2015 23:51

She IBU. People have lots of reasons for wanting time off at any given time. Being a parent shouldn't give you a priority.

She is being especially unreasonable if she ignored the offer made to get a request in.

IfYouWereARiverIdLearnToFloat · 05/04/2015 23:53

Parents don't need to receive priority. I don't have kids yet & although I'm very accommodating at work (I volunteer to cover public holidays, work the late shift on Xmas eve so those with kids can get away early, did a lot of the weekend shifts when we ran a 7 day working pilot as those with kids didn't want to do them, I don't take time off during school holidays if I can help it), if I want a certain week off its generally for a reason and my request should be just as important as anyone else's. First come first served is fair although I'm never organised enough for that Easter Confused

EBearhug · 05/04/2015 23:53

I dont understand why people who (a) are not teachers and (b) dont have children, would want tk have their holiday in achool holidays, and pay far far more!

Because they might go on holiday with their extended family or friends, who could include teachers and/or children. It could be their birthday and they want time off to do something. There are a million and one reasons why people might want leave at peak times.

If I want to see friends and family at Christmas, I usually have to go away somewhere - I don't see why that means I should have less priority for taking leave, especially given that this last Christmas I ended up on my own for far too long (I worked from home on the days I was working, as no one else was in), and it was definitely not good for my mental health.

But back to the OP - if she was notified and she was aware it first come first served - well, bad luck on her for not getting organised.

AyeAmarok · 05/04/2015 23:54

CalleighDoodle because maybe they want to spend it with family who are only off at that time, or maybe because the weather is better.

DianeLockhart · 05/04/2015 23:54

She is being vvvvvvvv unreasonable.

Being a parent is totally irrelevant to this.

If she wants leave she should apply in the same way as everyone else and not expect special treatment.

People like this piss me right off.

SilverBirch2015 · 05/04/2015 23:54

I suppose it would be OK if people without school age children were then given priority outside of school holidays or another special time like Xmas iykwim!

But what about grandparents or people with children who are students or have nieces and nephews or have partners who work in education or enjoy being off work when the weather is good?

Original poster
ACSlater · 05/04/2015 23:56

I think she has ignored any work emails. I guess that's partly understandable but causes this sort of situation Confused

There was a whole meeting about it and she definitely would not have been ignored for not being there. I was off sick for the Christmas annual leave meeting last year and everyone worked around that to ensure I had leave.

OP posts:
WaywardOn3 · 06/04/2015 01:03

Surely all the available time off in the holidays isn't already taken?

If something you really want to go to is on only in school holiday time you should be able to take it off without being made to feel bad by parents.

BackforGood · 06/04/2015 01:28

Surely there is a 'system' or 'rule' that is always followed - be that first come first served (if there is an "opening time" for booking holiday), or seniority of 'rank' , or length of time in post, or some kind of turn taking ?
As long as that's been followed then she's BU to moan. Being a parent doesn't entitle you to school holidays to the detriment of everybody else.
If there isn't a system or longer standing rule, then perhaps this is the time to put one in place, as if this e-mail was 'thrown out' unexpectedly whilst she was on maternity leave, I think she's very entitled to not be checking work e-mails when on maternity leave (unless it was specifically sent to her own personal e-mail account, or a letter sent by post or a phone call made).

CadMaryzCremeEggzAreASwizz · 06/04/2015 01:35

If she is due back in late July, can't she have her holiday with her children before she comes back?

Any company with lots of people with schoolage children is going to have holiday problems. Provided it's fair, some people are always going to have to compromise.

BlinkAndMiss · 06/04/2015 01:42

Whilst I don't think special consideration should necessarily be given to parents for choice of holiday dates, I certainly don't think this woman has been unreasonable for being upset about they way it's been decided. It might have been on a first come, first served basis but why is there an expectation that she is checking her work emails whilst she is on maternity leave and annual leave? Unless she was being paid for a KiT day in the days where she should,have checked, she was under no obligation at all to check, I know when I was on maternity leave work emails were the bottom of a long list of priorities. If she was expected to follow some kind of protocol then the company should have written to her or at least phoned her.

She's expecting fair treatment, she may have needed those particular dates for any number of reasons the same as anyone else.

CadMaryzCremeEggzAreASwizz · 06/04/2015 01:44

Because if she wants to be considered for work related decisions she should check her work emails Confused

BlinkAndMiss · 06/04/2015 01:51

No, she shouldn't under those circumstances. Work should contact her by post, emails bring up other work related issues that she shouldn't have to deal with whilst on maternity leave. There might be any number of reasons why she hasn't checked them, not being obliged to is just one of them.

Only on mumsnet.

CadMaryzCremeEggzAreASwizz · 06/04/2015 01:55

Well if she doesn't ask for leave, how can she expect to get it [baffled]

If she has been working there for a while, she should know that annual leave gets allocated on a first come first serve basis. Therefore it's up to her to apply for it.

PurpleSwift · 06/04/2015 02:21

Plenty of people have family commitments, not just parents and I think it's fair for anyone to be able to request leave over the height of summer. She is bu

chrome100 · 06/04/2015 03:30

I am childless. I spent this Christmas alone by myself because all the parents insisted on taking annual leave. I only got Xmas day and Boxing Day off when there is no public transport and my family are a three hour train ride away. That is why people want annual leave in school holidays!

ChopperGordino · 06/04/2015 04:05

"I dont understand why people who (a) are not teachers and (b) dont have children, would want tk have their holiday in achool holidays, and pay far far more!"

Dp is a teacher. We would love not to have to pay school holiday prices but we don't have te choice. If I want to spend my annual leave with him then I have to compete with colleagues with school-age children. Fortunately they are very considerate and kind. If any of our family or friends want to spend time with us, they also have to take school holidays.

HicDraconis · 06/04/2015 04:16

When I am off on leave, I don't check any work related emails. I am on leave from work and that includes emails.

However, your colleague has presumably worked there long enough to know how the leave allocation is sorted - have parents received priority before? If not, then no reason to assume that they suddenly would now.

I imagine the leave has all been allocated now, in which case she will just have to suck it up. I do think she has a legitimate reason to be annoyed with how this has been handled though.

HearTheThunderRoar · 06/04/2015 05:41

YANBU

My manager and assistant who are both childless have taken annual leave for the whole easter holidays this year, that means I can't take any leave. DD (15) is a bit disappointed as she will be home alone for the whole holidays but tough shit.

Just because your a parent does not entitle you to automatic leave in the school holidays.