Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Permanent Infestation

20 replies

AerialGymnastics · 05/04/2015 19:27

My dp shares custody of my dsd with her mother. Dsd is in primary school and since she has been there (a couple of years) we have had to deal with a practically permanent infestation of headlice. Every day we have dsd I go through her hair and there are always headlice. I've done the chemical treatments (not too often to prevent resistence), I use tea tree shampoo, conditioner and oil as a deterrent on her head. I comb it for hours and hours. By the time I send her home she's as nit free as I can make her... If not completely nit free as near as Fuck it is to swearing. But by our next nights with her... She's full of them again. It's not the school as she's moved schools and the infestation has gone with her. I do have my suspicions as to the origin of this (aunt's family as they are there a lot).

DP and I are at loggerheads about this. I want to have very strong words with mother/aunt about this... as it takes effort from both sides to deal with the lice problem. He's more relaxed and is content to just go through the hair every week (easy for him as he's not the one combing the hair). It's got to the point where I come out in rashes after doing dsd's hair... GP says I'm allergic to something in headlice now due to the constant exposure.

I am more than a little tempted to get dsd's hair cut short and be damned with it. It's either that or tackle the mother's ineptitude/laziness. Tempting but not helpful to the situation....

Thoughts?

OP posts:
woowoo22 · 05/04/2015 19:36

Why isn't he sharing the combing of her hair? Course its easy for him to not be fussed if that's the case.

Original poster
AerialGymnastics · 05/04/2015 19:43

Because he's a bit useless at it... doesn't section the hair properly... doesn't brush or use a normal comb first so it ends up with dsd in floods of tears as he pulls her hair. He does do a quick 5 minute comb through in bathtub when her hair is full of conditioner... but I'm still the one doing the hour long marathons. Possibly I require more bollocks at sitting through tearful child or at teaching dp how to de-nit a child.

OP posts:
fairgame · 05/04/2015 19:47

It should be a joint effort so that her mum is doing the same regime as you otherwise they will keep coming back. Have you spoken to her mum at all about it?

Allinson2014 · 05/04/2015 19:48

I don't know the answer to the reinfestations but have you tried a nitty gritty comb? It gets lice and eggs out so should help make sure she isn't reinfesting herself.

woowoo22 · 05/04/2015 19:49

In that case he needs to step the fuck up. Either by doing the combing properly or by speaking to her mum. Do the school not say anything?

Islanegra · 05/04/2015 19:50

Nitty gritty and Hedrin. It's silicone based so no resistance issue.

GreenPetal94 · 05/04/2015 19:54

As she's quite young how about showing her some lovely short haircut photos and getting her to agree to a v short cut. She could just be re-infesting herself with the long hair and them not al gone. Its no fun for her all this combing and tugging.

minouwasminou · 05/04/2015 19:55

Could you break DP in by brushing the knots out first and then handing the Nitty Gritty to him?

I am the only one here who does the comb-outs but I enjoy them (had months of heavy infestation with DD at one point, now it seems to have stopped and it's more a case of a weekly sweep to make sure). I've shown DP how to use the NG but he's not assertive enough with it (IYSWIM), but if I had to (esp if I was getting rashes) I'd make sure he copped on.

It might be the initial brushing that's a bit of a bottleneck for him, so this could be a good start.

Original poster
AerialGymnastics · 05/04/2015 20:24

I do use the NittyGritty comb on poor lamb. Hadn't tried Hedrin so I will definitely start using that as part of the regime. Anything to spare myself a week of hell with headlice.

Thanks for the tips about breaking dp into doing the combing.

Relations with the mother are a challenge. She's not fond of me... I've been accused of being too middle class(!!!) for requesting dsd was sent over to our house with matching socks on for a family event (normally I'd just change her but this time I wouldn't have had time). So dp doesn't want me to have a conversation as he wants an easy life and no row between baby mamma and me. Even though his child is suffering for it.

Pudding bowl hair cut it might be!

OP posts:
Original poster
AerialGymnastics · 05/04/2015 20:27

School keep sending polite notes out asking all the parents in the class to check their children. Hideous levels of passive aggressive that make me want to hide as dsd comes out the classroom scratching again...

OP posts:
chickenfuckingpox · 05/04/2015 20:31

wouldnt she go insane if you cut her daughters hair off though? if you dont have a good relationship this will hardly help (meant kindly)

NobbyNobs · 05/04/2015 20:31

he wants an easy life....Even though his child is suffering for it.

You clearly care for your DSD, but after seeing the above written down, do you see yourself having a future with her Dad?

goshhhhhh · 05/04/2015 20:32

If he in not prepared to talk to her mother, I think he needs to be prepared to tell her why she has had her hair cut.

BeyondRepair · 05/04/2015 20:35

Can you ask the school to help you?

Say to someone whats going on, and the nits on going and what you are doing and can they help and specifically ask your dsd parents to sort her out>

Surely - its cruelty to allow constant nits?

BeyondRepair · 05/04/2015 20:37

doesnt child complain, do you ask her what her mother is doing>

can you share with her how to combat nits so she can educate her own dm?

magoria · 05/04/2015 21:27

How about you start by having strong words with her father who cannot be bothered to do any more than a piss poor job so that someone else (you) does it for him? He is just as lazy/inept however you want to tackle her mother/aunt?

If she is virtually nit free when she leaves you then her mother may not see them so much if her hair was washed 2/3 days before she comes back to you?

Is DSD old enough to teach how to do a tight plait to try and keep her hair away from other children's during the week?

cleanmyhouse · 05/04/2015 21:40

I used something called chinese whispers shampoo and spray. Only thing that totally got rid of them. Not sure how easy it is to get hold of it now, this was about 8 years ago.

wheresthelight · 05/04/2015 22:46

you have my sympathy op as dsd's mum quite openly refuses to treat them for nits so they end up permanently riddled with the little fuckers. I went mental at her and dp when they gave them to my then 7 month old dd and even that had no effect.

all you can do is teach dp hoe to do it and keep spending your time with her doing it.

I have seriously pissed dsd's mum off this week as I took her (with dp's consent) to the hairdresser and asked them to give her hair a bloody good cut and to bring it up to a more reasonable length as I am sick of spending hours combing it. her mum agreed as long as it wasn't too short but it is definitely shorter than she would have liked (Blush) however dsd loves it and can manage to brush it a lot easier and I am hoping that after a week with us and daily combing she is free of them for a while

Beth2511 · 05/04/2015 22:56

See I'd do the combing through because I know girls hair is really not DPs forte but I would be putting my foot down about making sure he dealt with the mum as his effort for combating it.

Purplepoodle · 05/04/2015 23:29

Wow they are hard to get rid of anyway even when you are on top of them daily using the comb and then plaiting up hair for school.

Could your DP send her home with the lice treatment?

Otherwise as soon as she arrives at yours I'd be blasting little buggers with hedrin ect every bloody week to get rid of them. Iv heard coating hair in oil or conditioner then wrapping in cling film with shower cap overnight can suffocate the little bugger too if your worried about resistance.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread