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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think the Camerons are hypocrites?

381 replies

Pixel · 05/04/2015 15:51

I've always had the utmost sympathy for them and what they went through in losing their eldest son, but Sam has made me very cross today. She's going on about how difficult it is caring for a disabled child and saying 'it pushes you to the limits of what you can cope with', yet the other day I saw this article. It says that the BBC has seen leaked documents showing that the Conservatives are planning to cut carer's allowance and disability benefits should they get re-elected.

OP posts:
NutcrackerFairy · 06/04/2015 07:58

Yesterday's SamCam article was the most relentless rose coloured puff piece of campaign 'journalism' I have ever seen.

The soft focus photo of Sam at the oven and Dave on the sofa tying up Florence's hair for school.

SamCam reminiscing about Obama calling Dave at 4am to tell him Osama Bin Laden had been killed. She goes on to say something along the lines of 'Dave took the call but I went back to sleep because I have to get the children up whatever happens' Hmm

And I thought like hell you do you, you have a Nanny you moron.

I really can't stand the Camerons or their relentless push to be seen as the common couple who relies on the NHS when they have a seriously ill child.

And yes, they should be more understanding, especially as Sam acknowledges that having a disabled child pushed the couple to the breaking point. Well try being in that situation without your family money and connections love. Really think about it and do your utmost to ease the situation for the many who really do have it tough.

TBH I think this sort of empathy is beyond Dave and Sam who have lived a gilded life since they were born. They probably think anyone could have what they have in life with a bit of hard work and determination Hmm

VivaLeBeaver · 06/04/2015 08:03

Well I wouldn't vote for a party based on their policies. This is because in the past they've proved themselves to be untrustworthy. Said one thing and done another. So I no longer believe them when they say they're going to do X or they won't do Y.

I don't even read what their policies are anymore. It's all a crock of shit.

However if I got the impression that one party leader seemed more trustworthy and genuine than the others Id read a little bit about their policies and if it seemed ok I would vote for them.

As it is im likely to walk into the voting booth still totally undecided, like I did last time.

Miltonmaid · 06/04/2015 08:05

You're right, nutcracker. They believe that hard work gets you to the top. I think their experiences mKe them more dangerous because they think they understand but they have no idea what it's like to cope without limitless cash and resources. Both of them were able to continue working while looking after Ivan which must tell you how much support they had.

Meechimoo · 06/04/2015 08:08

News flash: All Prime Ministers use Nannies and the vast majority come from a very wealthy privileged background via the top public schools and Oxbridge.
If you'd prefer working class, poor Prime Ministers, not ever gonna happen.

Meechimoo · 06/04/2015 08:09

The nasty rabid hysteria on this thread, comparing Cameron to Adolf Hitler ffs, is risible.

Applecross · 06/04/2015 08:18

I agree with welshwabbit we expect to read about spouses, families and their only real purpose seems to be being ridiculed. I've never voted Tory but I find it impossible to believe that there is a strategy of mentioning Ivan to make Cameron more likeable. People go on about politicians but what about our awful journalists? We should expect better from the media, even the broadsheets covered miliband's kitchen in full. All our newspapers are lifestyle magazines now.

Applecross · 06/04/2015 08:23

the only way I'd be convinced Ivan was being used is if I had documentary evidence from one of their advisers. Everything else is just supposition - I'm sure they're trying to make people like Cameron more, but it's a different step to say the mentions of Ivan are a deliberate part of that strategy. Guess we'll have to wait and see.

LineRunner · 06/04/2015 08:24

But if it isn't a strategy, Apple, what is it? A series of uncanny media accidents?

I know what I think. And I think it's backfiring on them.

Binkybix · 06/04/2015 08:27

I seriously can't see anybody sitting in a room saying 'bring up the dead child, that plays really well when people talk about the nhs' to samcam

I can see it being prepared as a line to take when asked about the NHS. I honestly can.

I have sympathy with them, but I do think they use it to paint a more empathetic picture of themselves and to defend against criticism about NHS and social care policy. I wish one of the interviewers would nail him in this point.

People make decisions based on a number of factors, some that they are not even conscious of and their justifications of why they made a decision don't always match the actual reason/s. I would be very surprised if anyone's view wasn't impactec by this non-policy sort of campaigning, whether consciously or unconsciously, to a greater or lesser degree.

Even if that wasn't the case the fact they are attempting it is deplorable in my eyes. I don't care about Samantha Cameron, don't want to hear from her.

FWIW I'm a floating voter.

Applecross · 06/04/2015 08:35

I do agree a lot of the responsibility lays with our journalists - they feed us lifestyle tripe - I'd be interested in samcam' views on policies concerning the disabled just as I would any parent of disabled children/any disabled adult. But as someone pointed out, she didn't get asked. we hate politicians but we really ought to spend some time demanding better quality journalism, politicians are feeding journalists what they demand at the end of the day.

Inkanta · 06/04/2015 08:40

Yes, you would think after the ordeal they've been through that Cameron would have more empathy for Carers and not cut their allowances.

VivaLeBeaver · 06/04/2015 08:58

If you'd prefer working class, poor Prime Ministers, not ever gonna happen.*

No, because we've never had a grocer's daughter as prime minister have we?

Miltonmaid · 06/04/2015 09:03

It's not about whether they are working class or have nannies, but it's about having empathy and acknowledging how much harder it must be for people without their privilege. Then having acknowledged it, wanting to do something to ease the strain. I've seen no evidence that Cameron has done this.

Icimoi · 06/04/2015 09:18

Once she'd agreed to the interview it was inevitable that she would be asked about Ivan and so she has to answer the question.

No, it isn't in the least inevitable. These interviews are carefully arranged and the reporter can be told beforehand that she won't be answering questions about Ivan. If the question is asked, she still doesn't have to answer - she can simply say that that question is off limits.

But the fact of the matter is that someone in Conservative party PR has specifically told the nice, sympathetic Mail on Sunday journalist that there will be some lovely photo opportunities with the kids and that he is expected to ask questions about the children including Ivan and Sam will be happy to answer in full.

NutcrackerFairy · 06/04/2015 09:19

News flash: All Prime Ministers use Nannies and the vast majority come from a very wealthy privileged background via the top public schools and Oxbridge.

Well, yes, I do understand that.

But what I resent is SamCam 'dabbing at her mascara' and trying to make out to the electorate that she has to do it all.

I would find her less irritating if she said that it was awful and difficult for them having a severely disabled child and drove them to breaking point... but they did have help and money and connections and this made life a little simpler and easier than for those without these resources. And that she and Dave very much want to support those who don't have similar advantages.

I might not necessarily believe her [or decide to vote Tory] but it would make me think that she really gets that her standard of living is not possible for a great proportion of the electorate, regardless of how hard they work or how motivated, ambitious or intelligent they might be.

Northernlurker · 06/04/2015 09:20

Dominic Lawson has written a response today. I know a lot of people won't use DM links so am copying it below. I think he makes a very measured point and is absolutely right:

'Having a prominent politician for a parent is a mixed blessing. But I’m grateful that my father never asked any of his children to play a part in his election campaigns — aside from posing for a local photographer for his constituency manifesto.

On the other hand, my father never aspired to become Prime Minister: he achieved the summit of his ambition as Chancellor.

This is not true of David Cameron and Ed Miliband. The former desperately wants to remain Prime Minister after the General Election on May 7; and the latter, with almost disturbing intensity, wants to snatch the keys of 10 Downing Street from him.

In this cause, both have paraded themselves with their children at home for the BBC’s cameras — and as both men’s children are young and photogenic, there must be the hope on their part that the nation’s voters will go aaaah (rather than the usual grrrr, when they see a politician on his own).

In this political cross-fire of the cute kiddies, David Cameron yesterday launched the biggest bombardment yet, making public photographs of a one-year-old Florence Cameron sitting inside the Prime Minister’s red box and of Nancy and Elwen standing on their own (and looking a bit miserable) on the steps of 10 Downing Street. I suppose the intended message of the latter was: vote Conservative or these poor children will be homeless.

If so, I don’t think it will help Cameron — and not just in the sense that it will make it much more difficult for him to demand privacy for his children in the future. Those who were unsure whether or not they would vote Conservative are as likely to be irritated as they are enchanted: they may feel this looks altogether too proprietorial, as if Cameron treats the trappings of power like an heirloom. They may also feel they are being manipulated.

This is a particular danger with the most poignant part of the accompanying interview with his wife Samantha, in which she tearfully discussed their first-born child, Ivan, who died at the age of six in 2009. And in yesterday’s Sunday Times, her husband also spoke in detail about their late son.

As the parent of a child with a disability, I absolutely understand why they should have done this. To a large extent a family revolves around the needs of such a child — and Ivan’s needs were extreme: he had Ohtahara syndrome, a condition that combines severe cerebral palsy with epilepsy. Ivan was not only unable to communicate: he suffered constant fits.

Friends of the Camerons talk with awe about the way David and Samantha coped with this emotional burden and the love and tenderness they showed their profoundly disabled child.

My wife, Rosa, told me about how, when she interviewed Cameron for a BBC programme she presented about disabled children and their families shortly after Ivan had died, her very mention of his son provoked uncontrollable tears in the then leader of the Opposition.

In this political cross-fire of the cute kiddies, David Cameron yesterday launched the biggest bombardment yet, making public photographs of a one-year-old Florence Cameron

Interestingly, his chief spin doctor at the time, Andy Coulson, told Rosa that they did not want this bit of the film to be broadcast — and it never was.

But the purpose of her film — When A Mother’s Love Is Not Enough — was to try to get both national and local authorities to improve the care and help they give to parents (usually mothers, since so many fathers run away from such a situation).

In her 2009 filmed interview with David Cameron, she urged him — if he became Prime Minister — to end the immensely complex system of multiple agencies dealing with children with profound disabilities and to create a sort of one-stop-shop, so parents were not confronted with dizzyingly complex and impenetrable walls of bureaucracies.

He said he thought that was a good idea. But in five years not a step has been taken to bring that about.

David Cameron is a patron of the charity KIDS, for the families of children such as Ivan — and my wife is its president. In that role, she hears many stories of how badly such families are treated, when they seek some sort of respite. I have the emails of two such mothers in front of me, as I write.

One has, among several children, a daughter with the most severe imaginable disabilities (I know, because they have spent a weekend at our home). Tellingly, she has been forced to take her local authority to court in pursuit of better support.

Her latest email reports: ‘I have now had two visits to court and things are slowly looking up. The judge ordered social services to sit down with me and ask me what respite I needed to care for [my daughter] as currently it is less than two hours a week.

‘I now have a care package in place — thank you, judge!!! — yet conveniently said social worker and manager are now on leave for a combined total of five weeks which means it’s being delayed as no one is contactable . . . they did get a telling off as they hadn’t even requested [my daughter’s] medical notes or had any actual evidence to put to the court.

‘I can’t help but feel angry that all the money they are ploughing into a court case could be spent much more effectively on families and that the only way to secure much needed support is to go through such a process.’

Another mother, whose son has acute cerebral palsy, epilepsy, incontinence, autism and deformities, is moving to the age when he is technically no longer a child (though he has a mental age of one): yet he’s been turned down for the NHS’s Continuing Healthcare Plan.

In her email she writes: ‘The system for disabled children is a cruel and wicked one that “murders” families. It eventually suffocates them, taking away everything the family has and stripping them of every ounce of energy and fight they have . . . it creates an endless vortex of mess and chaos.’

It is obvious to anyone that there should be a simplification of the bureaucracy involved in these cases, which adds immensely to the financial as well as the emotional cost.

And — as the Centre For Welfare Reform argues in its pamphlet Who Cares? — there should also be an advocacy service for the intellectually disabled which is genuinely independent and not tied administratively to the statutory services.

Samantha Cameron spoke movingly in yesterday’s interview about how Ivan’s needs — until they were helped by respite care — left the family ‘totally shattered and pretty much at breaking point’. Her husband should do something — as the Prime Minister he is asking us to endorse at the ballot box — to help other, less well-connected families in the same predicament.'

ssd · 06/04/2015 09:26

vivalebeaver, if you think MT had any sort of leaning towards the working classes as she was a grocers daughter you are well wide of the mark, MT did everything possible to squash the working class, everything she could.

VivaLeBeaver · 06/04/2015 09:35

Ssd, no I'm not saying that at all. I know she fucked the working classes over. It's just someone said we'd never get a working class prime minister and I was trying to point out that we have had one from a working class background.

ssd · 06/04/2015 09:43

thanks for posting that NL, very good piece.

ssd · 06/04/2015 09:44

but was she from a working class background?

I think she was middle class to start with.

Kampeki · 06/04/2015 09:50

northern, that's an interesting article, thank you.

I have profound sympathy for what the Camerons went through with Ivan, and I have no doubt that their experiences have impacted them both greatly. Although I hate and despise their politics, I was one of those defending DC in the last election campaign for talking about his son. I genuinely did not believe that any parent could use such a tragic experience to manipulate others, and I presumed that he was speaking from the heart.

Now, I'm much more cynical. I have not heard DC talking about Ivan much over the last five years as he has strived to improve the support for families with disabled children. Oh wait...that's because he hasn't actually done anything to help the families of disabled children. His rhetoric about disability and the NHS all sounds rather hollow now.

And yet suddenly, now an election is looming, all the talk is of Ivan again. I genuinely don't want to think that the Camerons are exploiting his memory as an electoral strategy, but right now, I'm finding it really hard to reach any alternative conclusions.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 06/04/2015 09:55

I actually like David Cameron but his party and it's policies suck arse! I won't be voting Tory and it's highly unlikely I ever will whoever their leader is.

ssd · 06/04/2015 09:56

I think DC knows that no reporter or journalist will actually come out and say "why are you mentioning your lost son every time we bring up the NHS and disability welfare cuts?", as this would just not be very nice, and so he keeps mentioning Ivan and no one says anything.......

but all it seems to be doing is highlighting how hard it is for anyone else with a child with a disability and without their financial backing in place.

and the thought that any parent would use the memory of their child in this was is diabolical.

Miltonmaid · 06/04/2015 10:14

In the original article I read, Sam seemed to be saying that they got through it in part due to Dave's optimistic character. Im pretty sure that part of the election strategy is to paint Dave as the dependable, safe pair of hands. She didn't acknowledge that having money made things easier for them, not emotionally of course, but on a practical level. I have an enormous amount of sympathy for them, they've been through the worst of times but then why have they made things worse for so many people?

Dawndonnaagain · 06/04/2015 10:30

Thatcher was not working class. Her father owned two shops, was a local dignitary and she went to an Independent school and Somerville, Oxford.

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