Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not let my mum dress my baby up?

18 replies

VexiLexi303 · 04/04/2015 19:02

Ready to be told AIBU but Bit of back story, DM and I have a rocky relationship, always have always will, we fight like cat and dog and are as different as day and night. She's fought with me already for countless things in my actual pregnancy e.g not picking name she wanted, not making her sister God mother, not buying flashy pram she wanted ect.

DM is obsessed with fashion and looking stylish so this isn't just grandmother being excited in my experience, she had me in frills and jewelry before I could walk. She wants to continue doing this to DS who is 5 months old, which I refuse because he absolutely hates to be annoyed when getting changed, has bad reflux and spews on everything so baby grows are easier and more comfortable.

I won't lie I also hate her style as well, I've told her this myself but she thinks her's is the only style that matters and doesn't listen. It's similar to the children from My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, over done and over the top. She's said about getting jewelry (ear studs, bracelets ect) for DS, going and getting his ears pierced (even when I said no!), getting him designer labels....all of this I find ridiculous and irritating because all she cares about is appearance and not DS's comfort and taking photos to show off what ages bought. When I tell her no, she takes a fit and fights with me.

Sorry if I insult anyone who likes this! It's just not my cup of tea. Who IBU here? Flowers

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 04/04/2015 19:05

YANBU! At all!

GuybrushThreepwoodMightyPirate · 04/04/2015 19:06

She is BU, just ignore her and make sure she doesn't look after DS on her own in case he comes back to you with pierced ears Shock

jelliebelly · 04/04/2015 19:06

YANBU

BifsWif · 04/04/2015 19:06

YANBU. Not even a little bit.

Cantbelievethisishappening · 04/04/2015 19:07

Oh wow.....YANBU

PHANTOMnamechanger · 04/04/2015 19:08

she is BU, and sounds the sort to go behind your back to get kids ears peirced or haircut according to "her" idea of what is family tradition, so don't think she's backed down and trust her to babysit!

You have to start putting your foot down and mean it.

MiddleAgeMiddleEngland · 04/04/2015 19:33

If she has your son's ears pierced without your permission that's surely child abuse?

You will have to avoid ever letting her have him on his own, unfortunately. If she's got lots of money to spend on him she'd be better putting it into savings for his future but it doesn't sound as though this would be her thing.

tilliebob · 04/04/2015 19:40

My MIL tried to be like this with my DD as she was the first and only granddaughter amongst all the grandsons. She kept buying these manky frilly dresses and frilly knickers what are they about and I kept returning them to the shops and buying dungarees and baby gros instead. I also learned not to leave DS with her incase she also pierced DDs ears /cut her hair etc GrinGrin

tilliebob · 04/04/2015 19:41

*leave DD with her - between autocorrect and only seeing about 3 lines of any reply I type, I need to give up nming on my phone Hmm

LadyGregory · 04/04/2015 19:55

Yanbu, but you know that. Plus the 'stylish baby' is not really the image you're conjuring up of her taste! My mil has absolutely horrific taste in baby/toddler clothes - garish, nylon-y character stuff, or sludge-coloured and covered in footballs, tanks and racing cars - and as she's insanely generous and was spending lots of money, I had to have a word. Our workable compromise is that she buys him lots of tacky character pyjamas, slippers and dressing gowns.

BellasOrgasmicWalkingFoot · 04/04/2015 19:56

Good grief - YANBU!!! Tell her in no uncertain terms to bloody stop it!

PtolemysNeedle · 04/04/2015 19:56

After only reading your title my first reaction was 'don't be mean, it's nice to let close relatives enjoy your baby as well' but that was wrong! YANBU!

honeysucklejasmine · 04/04/2015 20:00

Do you live with her? Hopefully her opportunity for changing his clothes is pretty limited. YANBU!

KurriKurri · 04/04/2015 20:03

You have to be really firm with her and let her know - she had herturn to do it her way when she was a mum, now it is your turn, your child, your choices. I haveno idea how she plans to 'get his ears pierced' but I would make it pretty clear that if she did anything like that you would have her charged with assault (or whatever the charge would be) how dare she suggest doing something to your baby without your permission. If I thought there was actually any danger of her doing it I wouldn't ever let her be out alone with him.

VexiLexi303 · 04/04/2015 22:19

Thank you ladies! I had a few conflicting views within the family. Defiantly not letting her mind him alone, Middle, I don't feel comfortable that she would listen to me.

Oh Tillie! I know what you mean! My DM has bought DS Pom Pom socks, baby leather boots and designer coats! I can't have it at all

Lady that sounds exactly like my DM! Except me having a word doesn't stop her buying and buying

Honey thankfully I don't live with her. My problem was she wanted to change DS out of his baby grows because she thought they were cheap and then put him in the clothes she wanted

I've explained to her that causing a child unnecessary pain is child abuse but she's having none of it so I've decided not to let her have DS on her own, which she fights with me over again

OP posts:
BellasOrgasmicWalkingFoot · 04/04/2015 22:21

Just keep strong op, and keep telling her. She can fight you all she wants, but ds is your baby and you're doing what's best for him Flowers. She is only going to isolate herself by behaving the way she is.

MishMooshAndMogwai · 04/04/2015 22:29

Was completely prepared to come on and say YABU but then I remembered ex MIL when DD was born..... YANBU!!

She has horrendous taste, by any standards not just because it's not MY taste.

Neon pink track suits in every size from newborn, leopard print ugh boots and begging for ear piercing because 'so and so did it with her dd' as if I give a shit, I do not model my parenting on soandso, quite the opposite in fact!

Stand firm, it's taken a while but now dd is 4 it's slowly snails pace sinking in. You're always going to get gifts that aren't to your taste and that's fine, smile and be grateful BUT to be swamped with tat and/or ridiculously expensive designer stuff is a chore and I was very worried, probably stupidly, how it would reflect on me having all these boasts dressy uppy photos posted over Facebook.

rosy189 · 05/04/2015 15:20

Your mother took your baby and got his ears pierced behind your back?

F**k being unreasonable I would never TALK to her again!!!!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page