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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To allow my 10 year old son out by himself?

28 replies

MischievousNaughty · 04/04/2015 15:32

I have one child and he recently turned 10. He has friends who he regularly plays with outside in the street (that sounds bad - I mean they play football on the grassy area by our houses and ride their bikes around the block) but I've never let him go off anywhere further than earshot.

However, he wants to go to the park which is approx a five minute walk up the road with a friend of the same age. I have said I'll think about it. He has a mobile phone so he can call or text if he needs me and vice versa. He's asthmatic but would have his inhaler in his rucksack.

I'm really nervous of the idea but remember that at his age I was always out and about with my mates and had no mobile phone or anything.

He's my only child and I am not experienced with children so could do with opinions - is 10 a reasonable age to allow a child out on their own?

OP posts:
fredabear · 04/04/2015 15:34

I'd let him - my 11yo twin girls have been doing this for a couple of years now and whilst I know its possibly easier knowing they are together he will be with friends and has a phone.

WorraLiberty · 04/04/2015 15:35

Or course it's a reasonable age. You know your child and you know your area. So regardless of his age, if he's trustworthy he should be fine.

I'm not sure what your mean about it 'sounding bad' that he plays outside in the street though?

Finola1step · 04/04/2015 15:35

I would say that 10 is absolutely fine. Just go through the safety rules to make yourself feel calmer.

SunnyBaudelaire · 04/04/2015 15:35

I think it would be fine.

turningvioletviolet · 04/04/2015 15:35

yes. He'll be at secondary school this/next year. What do you think might happen to him?

gamerchick · 04/04/2015 15:35

God yes it's time. Grin

It's nerve wracking the first time whatever age you start but you get used to it.

DamselNotInHerDress · 04/04/2015 15:36

I think so. If the park really is 5 minutes away and he has a phone/inhaler and goes with a friend with the proviso for the first time that he Is back at xx or else you'll come and find him to make sure he's alright.

bigfam · 04/04/2015 15:37

It depends on your area as well. Are you in a town or village, although I think people's opinions will vary which is safer.

IAmAPaleontologist · 04/04/2015 15:37

If you are happy with his road sense etc and you have discussed things with him (boundaries, never to go anywhere even with someone you know unless you have checked with me first etc) then why not? But then I live in a small village and mine have played out at the park form around age 5 Grin. Mine are all fully aware though that any breaking of boundaries results in immediate loss of their playing out rights. Ds1 is currently on a crack down but it is only the 2nd time I've had to do it in 3 years.

chocoluvva · 04/04/2015 15:38

I've forgotten what I did when mine were 1o Blush - only six years ago! I'd think that's fine though - with the proviso that they don't separate and perhaps only for a short while the first few times. I was very strict about them coming back by the agreed time when they were younger. Also, I'd stipulate that he mustn't go anywhere without asking you first - mustn't go anywhere except the park.

It's hard the first few times.

I'd remind him about talking to adults and older children too.

Original poster
MischievousNaughty · 04/04/2015 15:53

Thanks - I know to some it must seem a daft question but I'm a bit of a worrier and sometimes need bringing back to earth.

My biggest fear is the road - there's only one to cross and while it's not hugely busy, it's busy enough that he needs to be careful. When I was 9 one of my school friends was killed crossing a road so I think I've drummed road safety into my DS.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 04/04/2015 15:56

It's a good age anyway because as has been said he'll be off to senior school soon and surely you won't want to doing the school run at that age and probably he won't want you to do it.

Charlotte3333 · 04/04/2015 15:56

Absolutely. My 9 year old plays out with his friends. It's difficult, gauging when they're ready, but so long as he's aware of road safety, has his phone and inhaler, it sounds as though he should be safe.

BayMax · 04/04/2015 16:04

My son is 10 and I would not let him out but I have extreme anxiety and am dreading him starting high school :(

chocoluvva · 04/04/2015 16:04

Not a daft question at all! We all want to keep our children safe!

How awful about your friend. Sad

I'd agree a particular place at which they should cross and insist they carry their football in a carrier bag if they have one so it can't roll across the road accidentally. Be very strict and use the first few times as a test.

I'd sneakily spy on them now and again too!

WorraLiberty · 04/04/2015 16:07

BayMax are you having treatment for your extreme anxiety if you don't mind me asking?

DarkHeart · 04/04/2015 16:21

Yes he will be fine. My ds is 13 now and started playing out when he was 8/9 and going to the local park at 10.

HemanOrSheRa · 04/04/2015 16:24

My DS turned 10 in Feb. He's my only child. I started letting him out with his friends last Sept when he went into year 5.

Make sure your DS has his phone on 'ring' not 'silent' or 'vibrate' when he does go out Angry.

FeelingSmurfy · 04/04/2015 16:30

It would be a good idea to make sure his friend would know what to do if he did have an asthma attack Smile

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 04/04/2015 16:34

Yes, definitely.

Thursdayisgoingtobehard · 04/04/2015 16:41

Mine are 11 & 12 and it was two years ago they started proper "going out to play" I hated every minute the first few times, but now I know they are as safe as I can control and sensible, whilst still having fun! It's great that we have MN to make sure we are not doing the wrong thing though!

Sparklingbrook · 04/04/2015 16:45

YY, he will be fine. You will be pacing and not able to think of anything else for the first few times. then you start to get used to it and sometimes not think about it at all.

I would get friend's mobile and friend's Mum's mobile numbers too if you can.

Fabulassie · 04/04/2015 18:05

Someone recently told me that 10 is the age a child is statistically least likely to die. They've acquired some sense, and adolescence has yet to come along and muddled their heads.

partialderivative · 04/04/2015 18:15

What were you allowed to do at that age?

Will that help form a judgement for you?

FantasticRik · 04/04/2015 18:20

My 10 year old DS goes to the local park to play football. He has a mobile and is sensible.

The first few times he went I was a bit Shock but he really enjoys the freedom and I'm glad he's out getting fresh air and exercise.

Good luck OP.

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