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AIBU?

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Just don't know what to do for the best to help a friend

2 replies

2010Aussie · 03/04/2015 18:46

I have a good friend who is under a lot of stress with her job at the moment and every time we meet up, she is very wound up and agitated.

Recently she tripped up while we were out and fell flat on her face. I rushed to help but she was abusive and verbally aggressive towards me - totally out of character for her - telling me that she was perfectly capable of looking after herself and she didn't need my help.

She lives with her husband in a town 15 miles from mine - they are both in their late 30s and have no children. On her own admission, he does nothing to help round the house. She often doesn't get in from work until 7-8pm and then has to cook a meal, wash/iron etc. She also runs the local slimming group and so has to deal with phone calls & emails quite a lot of the time, as well as the weekly session. He never goes out once he gets in from work, doesn't seem to have any friends or interests (although his family lives locally) and spends his evenings watching TV and drinking.

A couple of weeks ago, she had a much-needed weekend away visiting a friend. She had suggested to her husband they they had a break together, but he wasn't interested. When she got back, he complained about being on his own all weekend and having to look after himself.

I'm worried about her but also worn out trying to cope with her stress. When I suggested once that perhaps her husband could be a bit more supportive - help round the house and take her out for an evening - she went ballistic and said that he was happy and that's all that mattered to her.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
UAprilFool · 03/04/2015 18:53

I'd keep out of it if I were you. You could let her know you are there if she needs you but other than that I would take a huge step back from the relationship. She doesn't sound like she wants your help it just like she likes moaning at you.

redexpat · 03/04/2015 18:59

Just let her know that youre sorry you upset her, and that it really wasnt your intention to do so. Ask if there is anything you can do to help. When she says no, say well im here if you need me for anything. Then carry on as normal.

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