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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to get an automatic car

130 replies

birobenny · 03/04/2015 18:17

I am learning to drive at a relatively late stage in life and am a terribly nervous driver (seriously so bad a feel sick before I get behind the wheel) I am learning in a manual and will do the test for a manual but I really want to get an automatic when I pass. I need to be confident by the time D's starts school in September and every panic (well a lot of them ) that I have while driven happen when faffing with the clutch/gears. Dh has been driving for 20 years and is a very confident driver. He will not get an automatic car because he says he doesn't like them. Who IBU?

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/04/2015 21:30

I've taken the Canadian and UK test (a billion years ago) and found them vaguely comparable.

RedSoloCup · 03/04/2015 21:34

When I first passed (in a manual) I had an auto for six months or so, it really helped when I was first out and about on my own not having to worry about gears etc.

I've changed between the two a few times since (currently have manual) and it's fine. yanbu.

Carrierpenguin · 03/04/2015 21:35

Yanbu, I learned in a manual car but love automatics, much safer imo. I wouldn't want a manual car again, though I'm not bothered if I have to drive a manual hire car.

I think automatics are less popular as they cost a bit more than manuals, it's like an exclusive club said by someone with an ancient fourteen year old automatic hehehe

TweedAddict · 03/04/2015 21:37

Get an an auto with a triptronic box, best of both worlds then

Feminine · 03/04/2015 21:43

The US driving test varies from state to state. I have known UK licence holders fail their American test.
Teens have weeks of 'classroom' before they are even allowed in a vehicle.
Regarding op You should
drive the car you feel safest/happiest. :)

HazleNutt · 03/04/2015 21:43

He is U. Your argument that an automatic makes your journey safer and more pleasant tops his 'don't like it'.

KateReddy · 03/04/2015 21:43

You can both have what you want.
DH likes automatics, I hate them. Our car has no clutch and a flappy paddle gearbox. DH drives it in automatic, I drive it in manual.

thenightsky · 03/04/2015 21:54

DH and DS have full manual licences.

Me and DD have auto licences.

We have all autos or semi autos in the family.

DH shattered his left ankle a few years ago and has so much metal in there now he would struggle with a clutch in heavy traffic.

Autos are the future. None of that stirring around in porridge action.

ComposHatComesBack · 03/04/2015 21:57

To play devil's advocate OP how old is your current car and how are finances stacked for replacement?

For example, I paid £500 for my car. It is probably worth a few hundred quid now. Unless I had significantly more money than I have now, I would be loathe to replace it. I know it is reliable and there is nothing fundamentally wroing with it, other than usual wear and tear.

Buying a new car in that price bracket is basically a crapshoot and without spending thousands, I couldn't guarantee I'd get a car as reliable as the one I have now.

Could that be part of your husband's thinking op: loathe to give up a reliable car for one that may be less so?

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 03/04/2015 21:58

Op I passed my test last year after taking a twenty year break between lessons! I was so nervous that I used to vomit before getting in the car, have sleepless nights etc, so I really do understand the fear.
However I was advised to pass in a manual, and drive a manual for at least a couple of years. To keep my options open and to build up my experience and knowledge of driving.
Even though it has been quite literally the hardest, scariest thing ever I am really glad I took that advice. The nerves do get better, the more you do the better it feels. I took two lessons a week and passed in two months although I had two four hour lessons the week of my test.
Stick with it, you can do it. And it will be worth it!

Ketchuphidestheburntbits · 03/04/2015 22:01

If your DH is keen for you to drive he should want you to feel as comfortable behind the wheel as possible. It's a simple choice, if he wants you to be a confident driver then he needs to at least consider test driving a few automatics. The alternative is that you refuse to drive any car that isn't automatic and the family continues to rely on having him as the only driver.

YANBU

HopefulHamster · 03/04/2015 22:03

Alternatively, I had lessons at 17 in a manual and sucked. Tried again in my 30s in an automatic and the difference was remarkable. Without the clutch to think about I could focus on the road. Learning to drive was simple and with once-a-week lessons (and sometimes missing them due to childcare issues), I passed within six months, first time.

My husband thinks he likes manuals but drives much better in an auto. We have an auto now :)

KingOfTheBongo · 03/04/2015 22:23

DSG might be an acceptable compromise solution? For the record, I always use the auto in ours. So much more pleasant.

Original poster

birobenny · 03/04/2015 23:36

Thank you all for your comments- really helps to get other perspectives

OP posts:

TinklyLittleLaugh · 03/04/2015 23:53

Every single person I know who has tried an automatic, has ended up switching to one. From my ex sales rep, heavy driving DH, to my former driving instructor FiL. It is like comparing a typewriter with a word processor. And the unresponsive bit is rubbish. I have an m sport BMW 320 TDi, I get boy racers challenging me off the lights regularly. They always eat my dust.

Rainbunny · 04/04/2015 00:42

I have been a manual "snob" since I learned to drive, then we recently moved to a certain American city famous for it's insane steep hills and I'm terrified as I regularly get stuck in traffic halfway up steep (vertical!) hills several times a week. Unfortunately my car is on the newer side so I can't bring myself to trade it in for a automatic yet as I'd lose money on the deal. I have "incline assist" so on hills the car stays in brake for several seconds after I take my foot of the brake to hit gas but it's still terrifying. Not to mention how much my knee aches after stopping and starting through the rush hour commute. I now love the idea of an automatic!

richthegreatcornholio · 04/04/2015 10:04

rich true, but the op sees driving as menas to an end, not as a pleasurable experience

Absolutely. Just responding to those who can't understand why anybody would want a manual. If OP feels more comfortable with an auto then that is what she should get.

richthegreatcornholio · 04/04/2015 10:11

I have an m sport BMW 320 TDi, I get boy racers challenging me off the lights regularly. They always eat my dust.

Lol. They're not trying! A 320d is a bit of a slug I'm afraid and being an M Sport has nothing to do with it.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 04/04/2015 10:20

I second the idea that you should get one of the cars that allows full auto and semi manual. I would never have bought an auto 20 years ago but trench has moved on hugely. The gearboxes are becoming standard and the maintenance costs will reduce. Full manuals may become the expensive oddity.

DrElizabethPlimpton · 04/04/2015 10:21

He is being daft. Automatics are remarkably responsive as most have 5 or 6 gears now. You can stick the car in drive and go, or use the gears. You just don't have a clutch.

My DH and I both drive Mercedes (very lucky I know) and both are automatic - along with most Mercedes - and they are very responsive but more importantly, easy to drive.

Icimoi · 04/04/2015 10:27

I learned to drive on a manual and was perfectly happy driving one for 20 years. Then I inherited an automatic and, TBH, I wouldn't go back to a manual now, especially as most of my driving is in fairly heavy traffic and involves quite a lot of stopping and starting. I don't have any problem in starting quickly - I still regularly leave people a long way behind if I'm at the front of the queue at traffic lights - and I don't notice any problem in overtaking. As for the poster who suggested you needed gears in case your brakes fail, she is perhaps unaware that most automatic gear boxes have a 2nd gear option.

I do think there is a degree of macho posturing in men thinking that in some way more skill is involved in driving a manual. For goodness sake, clueless 17 year olds (and older!) are driving them every day, what's so big and clever about it?

OP, is there any chance at all of running to a second car? I know it's not a cheap option, but with two of you able to drive there is going to be constant competition for the car, you probably won't get much use of it and will lose your skills.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 04/04/2015 10:41

Hi peeps. As some of you know, I'm a hairy knuckled HGV driver.

Automatics? We love 'em. Cars, vans, tank transporters. Turn the knob to "D", handbrake off and away. There are 12 gears and the pooter does all the worrying. Leaves us more time to look out for white vans, small children and men in flat caps doing 37 on the motorway.

tobysmum77 · 04/04/2015 10:50

I think it's interesting that you say dh is a confident driver of 20 years. People probably say that about me. I have a 90 mile round work trip, drive in strange cities etc.

But guess what I've never actually driven an automatic and the thought of it actually scares me . It's a mixture of being used to controlling gears, accidentally breaking (dh did this the first time he drove one!) and expecting to feel like a learner. Are you sure dh isn't the same?

Topseyt · 04/04/2015 10:53

Disgrace, interesting post. Aren't the majority of HGVs, buses, coaches automatics now? Somehow I have the impression that they are, with possibly just a few low manual gears if needed in slippery conditions?

Automatics usually do have options for moving off more easily on ice and snow. My car has a button you can press that is supposed to make it move off in second gear when in auto mode. Second gear is what I used to select with my manual cars when needing to drive in snow/ice etc.

Snog · 04/04/2015 10:59

I love automatics. You can concentrate on the road more as they are easier to drive. Also much less tiring to drive in traffic and great if you have joint pain too.

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