to think that

[star8369]

aibu to think that if you tell someone you will do something with them on a specific night and then realise you had arranged to do something with someone else on the same night after you had made the previous arrangements then you rearrange with the second person not the first

I think it depends on the people and the somethings.

As Melanie said, it depends on both the people involved and the plans made.

Yeah, I always think you should honour the first engagement out of courtesy.

Plus, assuming you're going to be honest to both parties, it's easier to say "can we reschedule because I had forgotten about a prior arrangement" rather than "can we reschedule because I forgot about my arrangement with you and have booked someone else on by accident!"

YNbu my EX friend use to do this and it would really annoy me

If the plans are equal, you should do the thing you agreed to first.

But plans are often unequal.

If one includes non-cancellable deposits or tickets, that might get priority.

If one is an opportunity that won't come up again (e.g. favourite band in town), that might get priority.

If one involves co-ordinating a lot of people who can't often find time to get together, that might get priority.

If one involves someone you see very rarely, that might get priority.

If one invlves a person who is having a difficult time, that might get priority.

Yes I agree with you. With the exception of something like an impromptu birthday celebration.

Yes but if the second offer is more favourable, it's courteous to contact the first engagement first and explain, asking if it's ok to swap to a different date because it's impossible to find a different date and is so very important. Most people are going to be fine with that aren't they? Then it's a win-win situation.

Yes but if the second offer is more favourable

Then you would be seen to have only made the first arrangement until something better came along. Height of bad manners.

Honour the first one, even if the second one is something you'd enjoy more.

I agree with you about honouring the first, I only suggested asking to swap if it's something that can't be repeated as mentioned by someone else upthread, like a birthday, tickets, etc.

Someone cancelled on me last week because they'd double-booked, and I was cool with that as it suited me to rearrange it too. We meet regularly and it was no skin off my nose to change it, but it would have upset her to have missed the event that came up for her.

Yes, generally, but obv more information is needed if you want meaningful responses. There will be exceptions.