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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you buy your child minder/nursery staff presents?

28 replies

GlitteringJasper · 03/04/2015 08:19

I'm just wondering about this?

I'll always buy a present a Christmas for our childminder, spend around £25 typically.

However AIBU to not buy presents at every holiday?

It's seems lots of the mums do and I'm hoping I don't look tight or thoughtless for not bothering. The only reason I know is via a general 'thanks for the generous Easter gifts' post on facebook.

To be honest I'm actually feeling embarrassed. I'm wondering if my kids sort of feel left out that they are not 'presenting a gift' with the other children.

My childminder is spectacularly good, I can't rate her highly enough but I do pay her ... Blush

Is this a thing that I'm missing?

OP posts:
smallandimperfectlyformed · 03/04/2015 08:21

No, I don't do that and don't know anyone who does. We get our childminder a Christmas and birthday present and teachers get a card & small present at the end of the year and Christmas.

Only1scoop · 03/04/2015 08:22

Always christmas but not easter Confused

Rockinghorse123 · 03/04/2015 08:24

DS is at nursery I don't bother with easter I buy at christmas, special gift for key worker and a general gift for the other staff in ds room.

Easter gifts are not a "thing" as far as I know xx

Original poster
GlitteringJasper · 03/04/2015 08:27

Yes, I've noticed that almost every time there is a school holiday the presents roll in. Not only for childminder bit for the childminder's children too!

I really don't want to start something like this as I'm already paying a fortune each month.

OP posts:
DevaDiva · 03/04/2015 08:33

We do Birthday, Christmas, Easter and usually a bunch of flowers when we go on summer holiday a bit like and end of school year gift iyswim? Easter was just a box of chocs we don't go overboard.

My childminder is totally amazing and I don't think we could have managed without her.

DamselNotInHerDress · 03/04/2015 08:37

I do school teachers and nursery staff, christmas and July.
2dds both with 2 part time teachers each and a ta, so that's 6.
Ds has 7 nursery teachers but I just get for his key worker which seems to be the thing most people do.
Nothing fancy, bottle of wine/box of chocolates.
Some people did Easter presents for nursery staff this year, I didn't and I didn't even feel bad.

AmandaTanen · 03/04/2015 08:40

I do Christmas gifts, but my lo likes to take in flowers from the garden or a bit of home baking at other times of the year but I don't do anything specifically for Easter or other term ends.

Starlightbright1 · 03/04/2015 08:42

I can tell you as a c minder. People tend to buy for my DC and not me. If people don't buy presents. I think absolutely no different about the child or parent. I do appreciate them. I also can say I really appreciate my parents that collect on time and pay without reminders.

PumpkinPie2013 · 03/04/2015 08:44

My ds is at nursery and we bought the staff a present at Christmas and I'll get them something next week when ds moves up to the next room.

I don't do any other time though as it would cost a fortune!

VolumniaDedlock · 03/04/2015 08:45

dd2 is at nursery
she has a keyworker, but in reality all the staff there care for all the children equally, so I'd feel odd getting the just keyworker a present. we send in a couple of boxes of chocolates for the staffroom at Christmas.

dd1's teacher gets a homemade card and a small token at the end of the school year.

HSMMaCM · 03/04/2015 08:52

I'm a cm and I've never had an easter present and would never expect one. Some parents send a gift for me or DD at Christmas, but not all.

It's fine. Don't worry.

Foxy800 · 03/04/2015 08:55

I do Christmas and end of academic year for my dds teachers.x

Flingingmelon · 03/04/2015 08:58

I do christmas for crèche.

Charlotte3333 · 03/04/2015 09:04

I do Christmas and Summer holiday gifts for nursery for DS2, as they are genuinely wonderful with him. For DS1 I do the same for his teacher and TA, again, they've been fantastic with him this year. Last year he had an awful, awful teacher who made him feel like crap constantly, knocked his confidence and generally didn't even attempt to work with him, so I didn't buy her anything. It's churlish, I know, but an end of year gift is to thank someone for their hard work and effort. If someone genuinely doesn't give a shit, I don't see that they ought to be rewarded.

Maryann1975 · 03/04/2015 09:10

I'm a cm and get a Christmas gift (which is usual) and birthday gift from one family. The other family (2 children, one toddler one at school) didn't get me anything but turned up with bunch of flowers and present for school teacher which I then had to carry to school as it was to big for child to carry. I was a bit Confused

Rabbishes · 03/04/2015 09:27

I'm a CM and I don't expect any sort of gifts, especially not an Easter gift. I have three DC who, between my family and friends, are drowning in easter eggs. I don't need any more :o

Maryann1975 · 03/04/2015 09:31

I agree about the Easter eggs rabbishes! By Monday we will have loads of them. We only finished last years eggs about 6 weeks ago!

nokidshere · 03/04/2015 09:54

As a childminder I dont expect my parents to buy gifts at all. Some of them give me a small Xmas gift like wine or candles though which is lovely,

Pyjamasandwine · 03/04/2015 12:23

I am a cm and don't expect gifts but am always grateful to recieve. Grin

Santa and the Easter bunny always write a letter to all the mindees though telling them that pyjamas has told them what good things they have done through the year and all their good points and how proud we are of them. Smile

The kids love it.

NurseRoscoe · 03/04/2015 12:49

Not for Easter! Easter gifts are something I find a bit silly for anyone tbh, apart from children who can't have chocolate. I do for her birthday and Christmas

NurseRoscoe · 03/04/2015 12:50

Pyjamasandwine that's a lovely idea!

Happy36 · 03/04/2015 13:24

At school we do a Christmas present and end of year (summer) present for the teacher and TA. Our nanny gets birthday and Christmas gifts and sometimes the kids like to get her little things if we go on a trip or something.

We do not do Easter presents for teachers, nanny or anyone. If we visit someone's house during holy weenk we take some Easter eggs or similar.

toffeeboffin · 03/04/2015 13:25

I just buy something nice at Christmas and occasionally take in a box of cakes for them.

icelollycraving · 03/04/2015 13:42

Last Christmas I sent dh in with lovely biscuits in a quirky tin & chocolates for the staff to have in the staff room.
I forgot to ask about it until about a month later & he said he didn't give them as I hadn't written a gift tag & everyone else's had tags. He bloody ate them himself Shock

trilbydoll · 03/04/2015 13:54

I do Xmas presents for the nursery staff as a whole (massive tin of biscuits) plus something small for her key worker. I just gave her key worker a card and £10 Debenhams voucher because she left last week.

My colleague bought her dc's key worker something small when she went on maternity leave, I think I would do that too.

I don't do presents for anyone at Easter, it's my favourite religious festival for that exact reason!