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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to ask my manager not to call me by a nickname she has created?

58 replies

buildalegohouse · 02/04/2015 22:00

My line manager has this incredibly faux niceness thing going on and (among other annoying traits) has all these nicknames for different members of staff that she uses. They are all very cutesy and not at all offensive, but it grates on my last nerve every time she does it.
My nickname is an alliterative adjective in front of my name (similar to Adorable Abigail, for example). Obviously this does no harm and doesn't have any real effect on me or my job but I find it so odd. Am I being miserable or would you find this weird too?

OP posts:
AlpacaMyBags · 02/04/2015 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SavoyCabbage · 02/04/2015 23:01

Jackass Jane

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 02/04/2015 23:05

Joyful Jane

Jumping Jack Jane

Jigger Jane

dougierose · 02/04/2015 23:12

Jiggly Jane

Juicy Jane

JustSoIckleWickleLickle Jane

JustCallMeByMyBloodyProperName Jane

NotNowBono · 02/04/2015 23:16

Joan.

HellRunner · 02/04/2015 23:22

if it was a male boss I can't imagine anyone saying "just put up with it" tell her or tell HR she is very unprofessional and wide open to a bullying/harassment case.

SilverBirch2015 · 02/04/2015 23:25

It's a power and control mechanism which is patronising and is her way of emphasising her position over the team. It is inappropriate, demeaning and unprofessional. If she was a man it would be sexist. It also demonstrates her insecurity as a manager.

That being said, it is hard to now say anything as it has become an established behaviour. This sort of thing would be a big deal for me. I would approach it with a fairly friendly (adult to adult) conversation. Saying something like "I am sure it is not your intention and it is just your 'way' BUT I don't like you calling me Adorable Annabel, I frankly find it pretty irritating and hampers our professional working relationship. I do hope you are not offended by me saying this, but I do feel you would prefer me to let you know that it is creating a bit of a barrier between us". Smile sweetly and keep it light.

Joyfulleastersquad · 02/04/2015 23:32

She is just asserting her power over you every time she does it. It's very patrinising.

I would just pull her to the side and say"can you stop it, it's getting on my tits"

pillowaddict · 02/04/2015 23:54

Maybe just say to her after she says it - you know what? I prefer just Abigail. Is that ok? She can't really say no.

madamginger · 02/04/2015 23:55

I always correct people who abbreviate my name, its not a proper name when shortened.
It really really bugs me and I don't care who it is, I think it's rude to call someone by a name that the person themselves doesn't use.
I also correct their pronunciation too, my name has a th in the middle and people use the v sound insteadBlush

GinBunny · 03/04/2015 00:00

Oh so annoying when they can't call you your name - my boss calls me Mrs Bunny in a really patronising way and it really pisses me off - My name is GIN, call me GIN like everyone one else does!!!

ashtrayheart · 03/04/2015 00:02

Ignore her every time she calls you the long version and when she repeats it look surprised and say ohh you mean me? Hmm
She might get the hint?

rollonthesummer · 03/04/2015 00:07

I'd put my head on one side in a conspiratorial way and reply in a jovial tone, 'yes, juicy Janey!?' EVERY time she says it.

wowfudge · 03/04/2015 00:29

Jane the Pain? It's really rude to call someone by a name they don't like.

MurielWoods · 03/04/2015 00:36

Jizz Face Jane

Jazz Hands Jane

SilverBirch2015 · 03/04/2015 00:38

Just Fuck Off Jàne

prawnballs · 03/04/2015 00:40

Jabba Jane or
Jane the juggernaut

  • Something's gotta work!
drbonnieblossman · 03/04/2015 00:51

"Do you know what, Tina Titwank, Would you mind losing the nickname, I'm not keen. Thanks"

Job jobbed.

drbonnieblossman · 03/04/2015 00:53

Ok, sorry, she's jane. "blow job Jane"

TheCatsFlaps · 03/04/2015 00:55

YANBU. Do you have a dignity at work policy or something similar?

GettingEggyWithIt · 03/04/2015 01:04

Jowly
Jilted
Jazzy
Juvenile

WhatABaklava · 03/04/2015 01:04

Jane the Jobby

Only funny if you're in glasgow though.....

TendonQueen · 03/04/2015 01:11

I like rollon's suggested strategy. The nicknames show power so by using one back to her every time you level it out. It is very annoying. Change hers, too, so it's Jolly one time and Jazzy the next or whatever.

Spermysextowel · 03/04/2015 01:50

As PPs have said, just tell her. Calling her a nickname may go over her head & is a little childish. Don't make it a big issue, more of a ' do you know what' thing.

mammuzzamia · 03/04/2015 02:00

It must stop. Be firm!

Don't bother with the tit for tat, that may only encourage her.