to think I have to limit the extra curricular activities at some point?!

[manchestermummy]

I am public enemy no. 1 in this house this evening because I have told dd1 she can't go to drama. It's three hours on a Saturday. That would be fine, but she's already doing swimming on a Saturday and will be starting string orchestra again on a Saturday. Both of which she wants to do.

She has piano and violin lessons too.

Oh, and is seven.

She's tried dance and gymnastics and hated it. She's even tried this drama club too and hated it! It costs an absolute fortune (several hundred a term) and quite aside from the time commitment, we can't afford it. We both work so running her to activities after school is tricky.

So she hates me. And the reason for that is that she has a friend who does activities every single blooming evening and at the weekend and is acting all superior.

It's surely enough at seven: swimming, music lessons (and she does practice both several times a week) and a music group. Any after school clubs that come along she does that too.

Then there's homework and being seven: chilling out, watching TV, torturing playing with her younger sister, playing on her tablet, playing out in the garden, all of which she loves.

I'm right, aren't I? Or has her friend's mum got the better idea?

Yanbu! For all the reasons you mention. You are the adult, you know your budget and how many activities you would like to do - your dd does not get to choose. And if she grumps or tantrums over it, I'd be telling her how lucky she is to do the activities she does.

Neither you nor the other mum are right - you're just choosing different things. My dc would hate to do clubs every night - they both need time to chill out, play, read, do unstructured stuff.

YANBU. My DC do lots of extra curricular activities but swimming, drama and orchestra every Saturday is ridiculous!

I have DD2 to think about too, is the other thing. She does swimming, but I would hate to not let her do anything (we have let dd1 try all sorts) because her sister is doing everything!

Kids need time to just be kids IMO.

YANBU! In a couple of years, when the homework ramps up a bit, that friend will either be struggling or dropping activities!

dd1 has just turned eight
she does swimming once weekly, and an instrument.

I've said no to more for two reasons. Firstly, there's dd2 to think about. Currently she only swims (different day to dd1), but no doubt will want to add something else when she starts school, which is only fair. Secondly, activities can take up more time as you get older, and start doing more frequent training, galas, matches, ensembles, concerts etc.

And I agree that they need lots of bumming around time left over once the activities are done.

I had friends that did things that I wanted to do, and Mum said we couldn't afford it. I coped, and had plenty other activities to occupy myself (and didn't break lots of limbs horse riding!)

I personally think two extra curricular activities per week is enough. Obviously it depends on the child though (and your budget!)

Agree with Sailor

That's quite a lot for a 7 year old.

My kids were only doing 2 hrs or so a week in extra activities,
However in my experience the comittment increses with age, not down. My DD does 20 hours of extra curricular activity a week now.

YANBU, if I hadn't started saying no to my DC about clubs Id never see them. I love that they are so in to their hobbies but there has to be a line somewhere, mine do 2 out of school things each (scouts and football for DS, Rainbows and ballet for DD)

Yes, but a hobby can become a passion. We make the most of the time that my DD does spend with the family, but I am not going to insist on it when she would rather be doing something she loves.

YANBU. You're the boss. She'll sulk/moan for a while then she'll get over it.

I really valued unstructured time as a kid (I had just two activities after school - swimming and drama; never on weekends though as my parents liked to go out or have guests or simply stay at home to relax which was fine by me as it meant playing).

My DD is 6.5yo and does swimming and drama after school plus piano at school. Weekends and other weeknight are free for playing, play dates, homework. Weekends, especially Saturday's, are reserved for going out as a family. My DD loves unstructured time as she loves playing.

I'm a big believer in children having free time to play and just relax.