Grandma taking my son to smokers house

[SleeplessSeattle]

I'm not sure if I'm being precious over this (pfb) or if I can say something. Currently my ds (7mo) is looked after by his grandma 2 days a week, she's a childminder and we offered to pay but she refused. She is great with him and I have absolutely no worries there. I noticed when he was coming home from her he had an off smell on him,but put that down to her perfume or the pets she has at hers. However I've just realised today that it's the smell of smoke she takes him to her sisters for around an hour before dropping him off here, and they smoke in their house. I don't know if I can say anything as they're family? It makes me feel sick thinking about it, but then again it's free childcare so is it something I just need to accept?

But not only is it free child-care it's obviously very loving and happy child-care. I certainly wouldn't put it in jeopardy if I'd been lucky enough to have that.

It's a difficult one.

My Nan's a smoker. She's elderly and very ill (suffering from terminal cancer )
She is house-bound and me taking the DC to visit her once a week-ish is about the only enjoyment she gets.

Not taking the children to visit her because she smokes would just be heartbreaking for her.

So as much as I dislike them being in a smokey environment, I don't think a few hours here and there is going to cause them any long-term damage.

This doesn't mean I don't care about my children's health or they don't 'come first'. Quite upsetting that some posters are implying that.

For you OP I would just ask (or DH) that your MIL makes sure they don't smok when your son is in the house.

Two hours a week? YABU.
But I'd ask casually if this person smokes in the same room as your son as you noticed a lingering smell, and ask that she not do this.
That's not unreasonable.

Roobo - I've always done the same, my Nana smokes. I've always taken my kids to see her, an hour every week maybe. She doesn't smoke when they're there but they smell of it when I bring them home - they love seeing her, they love her silly little ornaments and endless supply of sweets, she loves the hugs and kisses and bizz from their school day - I'm not going to stop that.

gointothewoods that sounds like a really good way to approach it thank you. I don't in any way want to offend anyone but that seems like a reasonable way to ask.