To think she should blow out the candle?

[Lauren1983]

Not a huge issue but...every time we visit my MIL and FIL there is a candle burning on a side table in the living room. This happens when the visits are pre-arranged so they know we will be there.

We have a boisterous 2 year old who we then have to constantly stop going near the candle. I find it strange that MIL leaves a potential hazard out for no real reason. WIBU to ''accidently'' blow the bloody thing out by next time we visit?

People are weird about candles. I am not, actually a massive fan of them myself because I am clumsy and easily distracted - but I certainly wouldn't have any burning when there is a toddler around.
However - is this a scented candle that she has lit for the scent of it, or is this a memorial candle she lights for someone who has died? If it's the latter it will need a bit more diplomacy I suppose (though I am inclined to think that electric candles are a better idea for memorials anyway...)

My DMIL also has candles burning and sometimes even fresh flowers in a glass vase, always at a height suitable to be knocked over by a 2 year old. My DH walks in the room and just moves the item and says "just popping that there mum til we go you don't mind do you" there's never been a problem!! Then again my MIL is quite reasonable she just doesn't think like a parent anymore. Maybe your DH could try the same? if you think it would be ok or is that the type of think that would be unreasonable to her?

I've been on the other end of this where people have just made pa comments or moved/touched things as soon as they've walked through the door due to dcs.
I appreciate there is an adjustment if a house is child-free but do bear in mind that it's not your home and it's common courtesy to ask before rearranging things (and that does not include asking as you are doing!).
If they refuse or don't want to then feel free to let them know you won't be visiting their home or wherever it is and they will need to be happy meeting elsewhere as your dcs safety comes first - if they see it is that much of an issue most people are happy to compromise, or it's just easier all round to have another meeting venue.

Maybe she gets nervy when visitors are expected and so does a massive fart just before you arrive so the candle is to mask that?

Just ask her. She would be mortified if anything happened (and so would you)
for the sake of potentially offending her.

Either move it yourself or blow it out! Why make such a palaver over a non-issue?

Just get your DH to ask OP then you won't be to blame!

Feeling your pain OP, my mum's arriving this afternoon, I've got nearly 3yo twins, and I know the first thing she will do is make herself a scalding hot cup of tea and put it down on the knee level coffee table next to her easily breakable glasses and her blood pressure medication.

I don't think you're U to want it out but you do have to bite the bullet and ask her.

Just move it out of her reach. I do that every week when we go to my Gran's house. Job done.

We have two under fours, and we also light candles, we just tell them not to touch. Job done. Why should someone else prepare there house for the arrival of your children..

Can your DH not just ask instead?

"Mum, can I move the candle? DD might grab it or something and I don't want her to get burned or break it."

He can say that, you still might get the blame but at least he'd be the one to do the asking.

I would have just moved it or blown it out but then I get on pretty well with my in laws. Even if I thinkthey see me as overprotective.