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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I'm risking my good reputation?

18 replies

tevans15 · 01/04/2015 23:48

This is my first post, so go easy on me...
I am 36yrs old, married with children. I have always been a very respectable, very average kind of person. In my younger days I had a few boyfriends, settled down, and now I am very happily married. My DH is a lovely man, and things are great.

However, recently I have been feeling... well, restless I suppose. DH and I have always been fairly 'vanilla' in the bedroom. We have our fun, dont misunderstand me. And recently we have been experimenting more. But I get the feeling he is wondering where it's all coming from, as I have been significantly more frisky than usual. I even catch myself daydreaming about stuff that would normally make me blush. I dont just mean some sort of 50 shades inspired crap, I mean full on fantasies about the workmen across the road from my office! What's wrong with me??? I am not unhappy in my marriage, but I can't help wondering about other men. No one in particular, literally strangers I see on the street.

I think cant tell DH about these daydreams, as he'll think Im unhappy/want an affair. I absolutely do not! I'll lose my good reputation in his eyes, he wont see me in the same way. I dont think I really want to act on these daydreams. I just dont know. What's wrong with me? I have a perfect relationship, i'm so ungrateful!!

OP posts:

ResurrectAndEatShitChoc · 01/04/2015 23:51

Lose a reputation because you day dream?! Nothing wrong with you!

I think it's pretty normal.

What is your good reputation by the way?

textfan · 01/04/2015 23:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

tevans15 · 01/04/2015 23:57

It's more than a daydream, I've been feeling this way for about a year. I often wonder if it's just because im getting older, or if I am seriously unsatisfied with my marriage in some way. May be im just messed up in the head.

By good reputation, I mean the kind of person my DH and friends see me as. A nice, normal mum. Not some weirdo who daydreams about cheating on her husband

OP posts:

Original poster

tevans15 · 02/04/2015 00:00

Thanks textfan. I'm sure he does, i'm not so sure an encounter with a group of workmen is quite so normal though

OP posts:

Nightingalemumoftwo · 02/04/2015 00:02

it's called a healthy sex drive, nothing to worry about! Enjoy it and get frisky with your DH.

Ratfinkandbobo · 02/04/2015 00:33

Lots of people do this me included!

textfan · 02/04/2015 02:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Coumarin · 02/04/2015 02:41

Not weird, totally normal. It's imaginary, not harming anyone, doesn't change you as a person or effect your relationship.

The majority of people fantasise.

seaweed123 · 02/04/2015 06:50

Did you come off the pill, by any chance?

TwoOddSocks · 02/04/2015 09:32

Don't compare your insides to everyone else's outsides. What are the chances of your colleagues and friends telling you about their sexual fantasies? It's totally normal to have a private life that's separate from your public persona. I doubt there's anyone who doesn't have thoughts they'd never want to share with their friends and family.

HumptyDumptyBumpty · 02/04/2015 09:49

You're Middle Aged and Ready to Reinvigorate In Every Department.

Simples.

TheWhiteRoad · 02/04/2015 09:56

It's normal. Honestly.

Guess what? Even 'respectable' people fantasise about hot sex with unsuitable people. You'd be surprised how many people have an active fantasy life. Fantasies about doing things or being with people you would never contemplate in my real life is very normal IMO.

Don't stress about this. Nobody need ever know if you don't want them to.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 02/04/2015 10:05

Don't get it. What's having a healthy sex life, and wanting to spice things up got to do with your "perfect" reputation.
Who's going to know anyway. Unless you're one of those weirdos who shares details about their sex life with the world and his wife.

pinkdelight · 02/04/2015 10:28

seaweed I was gonna ask the same thing! My contraceptive implant ran out for a few months last year and I changed just like the OP is describing! Luckily I didn't get pregnant and am now back withstand new implant and lowered libido but I did enjoy having my own hormones back for a while. Sure it is totally normal OP!

Flipchart · 02/04/2015 10:28

I had a very strange dream about a guy I sort of know. I like him but don't fancy him IRL.
I did everything with him in my dream last night and woke up blushing!

I can never look at him in the eye again knowing what we did.

(No relevance to the thread but just thought I'd share it!)

CoffeeBeanie · 02/04/2015 19:16

OP stop beating yourself up. It's perfectly normal. I guess there are few people who haven't had inappropriate thoughts involving other people than partners.
What matters is that you don't act on them.

Flipchart · 02/04/2015 20:07

That was the point I was hoping to make coffeebean but never quite said it.
I got lost in my thoughts! (Still blushing at the thought!)

SandysMam · 02/04/2015 21:59

Cor...I like the sound of a group of workmen!!! Night all

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