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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to admit that today was one of the first days I can remember where I have enjoyed every moment with my children...

8 replies

WertyB · 01/04/2015 15:12

Please don't take the title as suggesting I don't love or enjoy my children, but happy moments and difficult moments have been littered amongst the past few years with most outings at time being challenging in terms of balancing the needs of the children, feeling constantly tired and inevitably upsetting one child whilst pleasing the other.
I have 2 boys who are now 2 and 4. Since the 2 year old came along it has been a whirlwind of wonderment, love, and if I'm honest some damn hard times. He has been a very clingy baby, ebf and refused food until he well over 1, always refused a bottle, never slept more than 2-3 hours at a time and whilst being an absolute delight - has the tendency for the biggest show downs going. Ds1 has always been a sensitive child, high needs in terms of stimulation and emotional wellbeing, wonderfully bright but also demanding with that in terms of struggling in social situations and confidence so has needed lots of coaxing.
As much as I adore both of them whenever we have gone anywhere I have spent the time trying to manage and balance these competing demands. We tend to go out daily and I've often found myself feeling stressed and tired by the time we come home etc.
Today, and the previous week really, I've noticed a real step change. Firstly ds2 has miraculously started sleeping through - this may only be temporary of course but my goodness it is life changing, and secondly they suddenly seem to have hit being on the same wave length and needs. They play together, want to look at the same things, support and encourage one another. Today I found myself feeling relaxed, enjoying them, watching them, playing with them both rather than trying to meet competing needs, we had a lovely lunch out where they both were fabulous - I am however left feeling horrendously guilty for suddenly realising that this is the first time I remember where I have felt relaxed and happy all day long....

OP posts:
DisappointedOne · 01/04/2015 16:06

YANBU. Enjoy it!

JoandMax · 01/04/2015 16:13

Enjoy it and don't feel at all guilty!!!

The first 2 years with DS2 were hardcore and whilst I adored both DCs it was a fairly knackering phase.....

They are now 5 and nearly 7 and it's just got better and better, life is easy and brilliant now

Idontseeanydragons · 01/04/2015 16:13

YANBU and don't feel guilty! It feels wonderful when everything comes together after a tough time. Hopefully this will be the first of many for you Thanks

calmexterior · 01/04/2015 16:23

YANBU totally relate to this!

CPtart · 01/04/2015 16:43

I have two DS with a two year age gap. Both were great sleepers, but it wasn't until the youngest turned 3 that I really began to enjoy them and relax. They are now 12 and almost 10 and having them fairly close together and of the same gender has been an absolute bonus. Days out, toys, tv, sports etc all involve common interests and their relationship (although not perfect) seems to get closer as they get older. They really do have their own little thing going on.
YANBU.

happylittlevegemites · 01/04/2015 17:16

I have a 2 year old and a 5 month old. I live in hope that ONE DAY I might be able to write a post like yours.

just.so.very.very.tired

dietcokeandwine · 01/04/2015 17:25

YANBU.

I am having a painful time with my three at the moment (10,5 and 2) and it is a long time since I've actually enjoyed them. I adore them, I am proud of them, but my over riding emotions of parenthood are love, frustration and stress. Never simple enjoyment. (And that's with full nights of sleep).

So I would say make the most of the enjoyment whilst you can OP. YANBU to celebrate it at all.

WertyB · 01/04/2015 19:17

Thanks all, really has been a lovely day finished with cuddling up on the sofa reading stories. Nice to know I'm not the only one. I think there is so much pressure to be the perfect parent and enjoy every minute, that not every one is honest about how hard it can be, even within all the love, adoring and lovely bits!!

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