Please don't take the title as suggesting I don't love or enjoy my children, but happy moments and difficult moments have been littered amongst the past few years with most outings at time being challenging in terms of balancing the needs of the children, feeling constantly tired and inevitably upsetting one child whilst pleasing the other.
I have 2 boys who are now 2 and 4. Since the 2 year old came along it has been a whirlwind of wonderment, love, and if I'm honest some damn hard times. He has been a very clingy baby, ebf and refused food until he well over 1, always refused a bottle, never slept more than 2-3 hours at a time and whilst being an absolute delight - has the tendency for the biggest show downs going. Ds1 has always been a sensitive child, high needs in terms of stimulation and emotional wellbeing, wonderfully bright but also demanding with that in terms of struggling in social situations and confidence so has needed lots of coaxing.
As much as I adore both of them whenever we have gone anywhere I have spent the time trying to manage and balance these competing demands. We tend to go out daily and I've often found myself feeling stressed and tired by the time we come home etc.
Today, and the previous week really, I've noticed a real step change. Firstly ds2 has miraculously started sleeping through - this may only be temporary of course but my goodness it is life changing, and secondly they suddenly seem to have hit being on the same wave length and needs. They play together, want to look at the same things, support and encourage one another. Today I found myself feeling relaxed, enjoying them, watching them, playing with them both rather than trying to meet competing needs, we had a lovely lunch out where they both were fabulous - I am however left feeling horrendously guilty for suddenly realising that this is the first time I remember where I have felt relaxed and happy all day long....