To ignore the Dr and to keep feeding DS like I am?

[startrek90]

I have just got back from DS weighing in. He is 6 months old and according to the Dr is underwieght and needs more food.

I feed on demand atm. I thought my baby was getting enough. Some days he eats more and some days he eats less. On average his feeds go like this;

6am: 230ml milk
8am: 230ml milk and baby porridge
12 noon: Jar of baby food and 150ml milk
2:30pm: half jar baby food and 150ml milk
5pm: fruit pot and 150 ml milk
8pm: 230ml milk

he eats during the night if he wants and i give him more or less if he wants.

The dr said to force him to eat more and give him more solids but DS won't have it. Aside from the first and last feed I offer food everytime before I offer milk.

AIBU in ignoring the dr and continuing. I feel a bit crap now tbh.... I thought I was managing for once and now I feel rubbish....

I do think it's alarmist to talk about jarred food as of it's really bad for babies. Lots of people use jars and in some circumstances such as when cook oping ans storing food is difficult are a godsend.

I'm sorry but jarred baby food has a lot of cornflour and thickener in it and it is not good. It isn't difficult to mash up avocado or banana or freeze salt free alternatives in ice trays.

We did use jars on occasion but then saved them as containers for freshly made food, which we froze. They are far more nutritious.

My last child was on the 0.2 percentile and we were told by our nice but old fashioned midwife that children did not usually cross two percentile points/ ie he would reach the 2nd percentile. He reached the 75th.

Good nutrition matters.

Wow. In the US breastmilk or formula are still the star of the feeding show for the first 6 months. I started cereals at six months, then added veg and last fruit. We bypassed the gross creamy 'dinners' (jarred) but definitely did jarred fruits and veg. I think it was a year that ds started to eat cereal rings (cheerios) soaked in formula and cut in half...he choked on everything else!

And even back then you stopped when they were done. You should never ever force anyone to eat.

And butter and salt and oils? No way!

"isn't difficult to mash up avocado or banana or freeze salt free alternatives in ice trays"

It is when the OP has said she doesn't have a freezer!

Cut the op some slack, jars aren't instant poison and although worth a mention, aren't worth the pages and pages of what must feel like horror and chastisement!!!

OP we don't know where you live or the specifics of your baby to give precise advice or understand what's the cultural background for the advice you're already getting. But it does sound like you are stressed, feeling guilty and don't have access to much info.

Getting some advice may help but don't be afraid to try out and cherry pick what's the best for your baby - don't worry about finding the most perfect theoretical model of weaning, just concentrate on the practicalities and see what happens. Unless your baby is scarily under weight I also think you should try to relax a bit too - I'm surprised at quite a lot of the advice on here which is saying you need to be really far on into weaning by now - the baby is only 6 months old and a premie at that. A lot of the suggestions are great but thjngs to move into when you feel ready rather than feeling bad for not already doing it!

I was just starting weaning with Ds at 6 months and it definitely wasn't to do with calories and nutrition at this point, as that's what milk is there for. It took a few months for Ds to be eating enough of anything for food to start becoming the main source of nutrition. So I'm not quite sure why you've been advised differently - unless the baby is really not thriving?

I would relax, start seeing food as fun and experimentation for your baby, and not see each mouthful as precious and essential in a battle to get it in the babies tummy. That way lies great anxiety so don't even start down that road!

I did baby led weaning because it was right for us, but do think it's a bit strange that nowadays you have to pick a side, as historically people have always done a bit of a mixture of purées and mashes, and finger food.

Good luck, don't stress and give it a bit of time, it will work out ok :)

Don't force him to eat. It will come naturally. DD was the same and used to vomit her food back up when we try to "force" her. Just because he is a doctor doesn't necessarily mean that he knows more about your baby than you. I have moved around alot and had a lot of doctors. Some of them haven't a clue. Your baby is 6 months and is taking in a fair amount of milk. His feeding should settle down in time.

DS1 was 5 weeks prem and by the time he was 8mo, rather ill so his weight slid right off the bottom of the centile chart, not helped by the fact he was refusing solids. The dietician recommended adding extra calories to whatever he'd eat. So we added cream to his porridge (we used ready brek), full at yoghurt with fruit, or cheese sauce with veg. He was bf so I also offered him plenty, but never force fed (the dr is a tit to suggest that, that's the fastest way to stop kids ever wanting to eat). DS is now a happy, healthy 3yo.

I agree with pp regarding trying some home cooked stuff rather than just jars. DS1 never ate from jars anywhere near as well as he'd eat other stuff. He got a mix of purée (I never had a blender, so I'd use either a fork or the potato masher) and finger foods. He did gag a fair bit, but I learned how to deal with a choking baby, so I felt a bit more confident offering finger foods as he really did enjoy them. I just tried to stick with offering things I'd eat, and tbh when I did try one of the jars I though it was pretty grim so just used them when we were out and about. The thought of adding oil makes my stomach turn.

The AK book was good - I used to make a lot of the recipes for all of us which cut down on faff as I really couldn't be doing with making one dinner for us and one for him. I do agree that at 6mo most of your baby's calorie intake will be from milk, so maybe try a few of the solids suggestions here and offer more milk. I didn't think they worried too much about weight unless the baby slides down through several centiles (like DS), and from what a pp said yours seems to have only gone down 1.

Also, as they become more mobile the weight gain will slow down as they burn more calories, so that can be totally normal. In fact DS2 has gone down a centile, but he started pulling himself up and taking a few steps from 9mo, and he eats like it's going out of fashion! If you were to weigh babies very regularly (like DS1 was) you would see that the graph doesn't look like a smooth curve. It kind of dips up and down, and the overall trend is an increase, as babies don't gain weight in a linear fashion - they will suddenly have a spurt followed by a period of not gaining so much. Next time your LO gets weighed they may have had a spurt so try not to worry too much.

I will add as well that at 6 months dd was still breastfeeding. I only tried to introduce her to food at about 7-8 months with porridge. She is now at 3 a very healthy girl who is getting taller and taller so much so that I have had to tell off my family from going on about how big she is. What you are doing is perfectly fine. Don't get stressed. All babies are different and develop in different ways at different times. Something that is very often forgotten by health professionals and others.

Why are you feeding him food out of a jar?

Forget about jars, purees and BLW for the moment, babies eat what they want anyway. Why did the doctor say he is underweight? It makes no sense as an observation, underweight compared to what? The doctor should be looking at percentiles and growth over time. My understanding is that a sudden drop of two percentiles or more should be investigated. I'd get a second opinion from another doctor and I bet you he/she will put your mind at rest.

What's wrong with jarred food?

When I eat I eat real food, say pasta and meatballs I've cooked. On the odd day I am tired or busy, sure, a tescos can of soup would need to do. To would I eat my daily diet out of jars and cans? It would largely be a diet of home made fresh food, with the odd tin thrown in.

It might be better to replace the jars and tins with real food - things you home boil/stew and leave solid or purée as you want.

mashed banana also put stuff through a sieve at first eg rice pud. Potato is a bit dry without gravy/ cheese sauce but you can mash this in with a fork to make it tasty and soft. This is easier than using a liquidizer which is a fankle to wash.

Little bit of scrambled egg.

I knew a French lady whose first food for baby was fresh tomato mashed with cheese.

For those asking why I give him its because I thought that was what you did.Everyone I know fed their baby with Jars so I thought it was ok. I didn't think I would get a roasting for it...

Please stop going on about jars! They are fine! It is not helpful to the OP to give the impression she is doing her baby harm by feeding him this way-she isn't.

OP- if I were you I would try, if I could, to up his milk intake. He's only 6 months old- mine weren't eating solids at all at that age. And if he is gaining weight and meeting his milestones I wouldn't worry too much. Do try mashed banana and avocado if you can, though- he might like them. And if you're eating potato or carrots or anything that's easy to mash, try him with a taste of those. And try very hard not to worry. Oh, and try to find some other real life people to talk to- it can be very lonely indeed when you have little babies.

Star Trek- they are OK. Please don't let this thread upset or worry you- there are some very extreme views which are best ignored.

There's nothing wrong with the odd jar. However it does tend to restrict the flavours and textures introduced as well as dictating amounts. It is also cheaper to make your own, from what ever you regularly eat as a family.

I would like to add...My Ds went through a phase of eating just jar food as he refused all my home cooking... He is not a fussy eater eats well, on the lower side of normal in weight despite been a chunky baby.

You are not giving your child Mcdonalds to suck on. Take the supportive bits and ideas from this thread that may help and ignore the rest.

Dd1 was underweight as a baby. This went on for years. We had appointments with all kinds of specialists, one doctor helpfully told us she wasn't growing very well because she wasn't eating and you need to eat to grow. This was a revelation to us, previous to that we'd been watering her every night

They could never find anything wrong. Forcing her to eat (and we did try it) was just stressful to us and her. In fact, in hindsight, I think focusing so much energy on what she was or was not eating was unhelpful.

She was always alert, on target in all other development stages, just small and with an even smaller appetite.

She's 11 now and I struggle to get her to stop eating. She eats anything she can get her hands on and loves cooking and baking.

Dd2, otoh, who ate very well as a baby and toddler (in fact I was told to stop feeding her) is a fussy wee thing these days, who'd rather play than eat and constantly 'forgets' that she is hungry.

I used jars for dd1. I was a single parent, struggling to make ends meet, I didn't have enough money to feed myself and cooking just for me when toast and a tin of soup was fine, seemed a waste. Jars were always on some kind of offer and were cheaper than buying food for me and leaving some for dd1.

With dd2 I was with ex and past caring about what they were/were not eating after all the trouble with dd1 and food, so she just got a bowl of what we were having plonked in front of her and that was that. Mostly she decorated her hair with it, but she got there in the end.

If your baby is otherwise alert and happy I'd just go with what you are doing. Perhaps try more real food, if you are cooking anyway. No need to blend it, but other than that, don't stress.

I lived abroad and used jarred food initially...probably up to and a little after 6 months. Try moving him up to the next sized jar with some pasta in it. If he struggles with the chunks, mash it up a bit. Offer him some other foods as well and if you cook something low in salt for you and hubby get a masher and mash it up for him. You can add a little milk to make it sloppy if he's struggling with chunks. He'll be fine, you're not starving him. If he was prem and you and dp are small then he's going to follow your growth pattern.

*lolalotta - Why are you feeding him food out of a jar?

Why don't you read the thread and find out? It's perfectly clear if you make the effort.

OP if you can't freeze stuff, give him what you are eating, take his portion off before adding salt to yours, or stop adding salt which is what I did. Mash it up with a fork if you want to spoon feed him or give it to him on his tray for him to play with feed himself.

I would not be able to take any advice on feeding from a doctor who told me to FORCE FEED my child. That is damaging and abusive.

We were told by a couple of doctors to "make" dd1 eat. No one had any suggestions as to how we could achieve this.

Meal times became something both dd1 and myself dreaded. The whole thing was so stressful and I'm sure the amount of worry and fuss that went into it caused her not eating to last far longer than it would have otherwise done.

She too dropped a centile on her chart (but her height also dropped) which worried people. She'd always been at the lower end of their charts but came close to dropping off the charts altogether.

None of this forcing her to eat, feeding her fatty foods and cream or adding powdered whatever it was they prescribed worked. The only thing that did work was time.

I'd like to point out again that dd1 had no other symptoms, she was alert, happy and active and meeting all other targets, if you DS is the same OP, then I really would just carry on as you are. It's what I wish we'd done. Obviously if he isn't then you need further advice.

And when they told me that dd2 was at risk of becoming overweight I felt like slapping them. I stopped taking her to be weighed after that and her overeating problem disappeared

Just wanted to add as mum to a micro-preemie, (24 wkr) who fell off the centiles chart we were advised by the Dietician, to mix cream or full fat custard to Ds's food. Rolo & Milky Way yoghurt, fridge section of the supermarket, are also very high in calories, & smooth too so no choking risk.

My DS has swallowing issues, but loved things like Quavers & Cheese Puffs that melt in the mouth for finger foods.