To think that, ironically, MN can be quite a hostile place for parents?

[PeachyPants]

Does anyone else feel this way? Sometimes there seems to be a vein of hostility towards parents running through the discussions, a kind of "well children are a lifestyle choice" attitude when someone is expressing struggles with aspects of parenthood and a general lack of sympathy when parents comment on how hard it can be getting out and about with young children. This coupled with regular comments about overpopulation and a lack of tolerance for the noise and mess children make does make me wonder if the supportive ethos of the site has become distorted overtime. Or maybe I just hang around too much on AIBU.

Personally I think its a mix. Which given that we are all different, makes sense. Some people are straight taking, some people are more sympathetic etc

Not sure why it would be any different to the mix of people you meet in RL.

some people just love to stir it up and be contrary, play devils advocate etc

I haven't seen an over population comment I'm ages. Maybe I just haven't read the threads. But, depending on the thread, it can be a fair comment.

you're right about there being the same mix in RL, but I think people do hide behind the anonimity on the net to be more hostile or forthright than they would in RL

YABU take AIBU as representative of MN.

And of course Talk is only one part of MN too (easily forgotten, well by me anyhow).

It is when your kids are disabled.

phantom not me. I am bit of a tit in rl too

I think it is fine for debate but would never use it for support.

I agree and having been a MNetter (under various nicknames) for about 10 years I think that the AIBU is a large part of the problem. Before that topic was introduced there used to be some really witty, insightful and original threads with a general feeling that this was a safe place for parents. It doesn't feel like that now and the fight club atmosphere of AIBU permeates the whole site much of the time. I have seen some truly hateful comments directed at parents looking for support in the last couple of years.

I agree with you OP.

I'm not sure what posters who bang on about 'having children is a lifestyle choice' and 'overpopulation' bring to a parenting forum.

They just make parents feel like shit.

I think that in general some people feel "brave" behind the keyboard and simply are unable to empathize with someone they cannot see. It's called cyber bullying and if adults are doing it its no wonder teenagers do it.

I think the support far outweighs the narkyness but not on aibu. I would steer clear if you want a friendly ear. I really don't like it when an obviously new mum gets torn to shreds and it does seem to be happening a lot more often.

I do like the debates on MN, even the ones that get me incensed, they are thought provoking and have led me to consider different perspectives more. But some people do just seem to be quite hostile to children and intolerant to the challenges of parenting and I do wonder why they hang around on MN, it feels a bit 'goady' at times.

To be fair most people probably are supportive but the few who are spiteful are very difficult to deal with when you're posting about something you feel vulnerable over.

oh god yes! If this happens just ask whether comments are being helpful in the spirit of the site

I really dislike obv stresed ops being attacked.

I feel sorry for the ones who are upset, pour their heart out with a problem for the first reply to be 'I can't be bothered to read if you don't use paragraphs'.
There are periodically threads with typical MN responses and they are spot on. Funny if you are not in the receiving end- and not restricted to AIBU.

Depends where you are in MN I think. At its best you have places with knowledgeable, helpful and supportive posters who go out of their way to assist. At its worst it is a reflection of the internet and there are a lot of people who are obnoxious and vicious under the protection of anonymity.

Some folk clearly have agendas to follow and will use/hijack any thread to make their point, sometimes at the expense of the OP. Other people are just nasty - I thought the recent treatment of a self-identified 'yummy mummy' poster was appalling. Some obviously worried and stressed posters have also had short shrift and it is an ungratifying experience (although heartening when others come to defend or empathise and gently offer alternative views). Add a few trolls, deliberatively provocative individuals, cheerleaders and mob mentality and it can be a gruesome spectacle.

I think AIBU is the natural home of the proverbial 'nest of vipers' although some do seem to escape and create havoc elsewhere. You soon get to recognise the helpful and experienced folk and avoid or ignore the disagreeable or those whose only mission seems to be to disrupt and hinder.