To not know what to do - Wedding, clothes, teenager

[HadMyTwo]

Hi, I am in a quandary, would love to get some feedback. We are attending a wedding abroad (Indian subcontinent), traditional dresses to be worn. My DSis kindly got my daughter's dresses made. Now, unfortunately the one for my teenage daughter isn't to her liking. I have an alternative dress, would it be too rude to use the alternative. I am debating between my daughter wearing something she doesn't like out of gratitude or somehow explaining to my sister that thanks but no thanks? What would be least unreasonable? Thanks

Could she possibly have had a sudden growth spurt and the original one no longer fit? I suppose that would depend upon the type of traditional dress though.

Did you ask your sister to make dresses and agree on a design?

Probably something to discuss with your daughter. As a teenager I'm guessing she's old enough to understand the situation and could be amenable to compromise, especially if you're going to be abroad for a while and it's just the one day she needs to wear something that someone else has chosen for her. Also, whilst the dress might not be to her liking, she'll probably feel less conspicuous at the wedding. No doubt others will say she knows her own mind, but this could be the time to understand how this impacts on those around her.

I would be expecting both DD to wear the dresses your Dsis has had made especially.
It does depend how old the teenager is though.
Why do you have an alternative?

Thanks all for the quick replies. I gave some ideas of her colour choices but left it to my DS discretion, unfortunately it's the one colour my DD does not particularly like. She is quite good and will wear it, I just wonder whether she would feel too self conscious if its not something she likes. Alternative is available as I have some older clothes that would fit her. Unfortunately, growth spurt not an option as DSis will be there and the sizes had been provided.

I just wonder whether she would feel too self conscious if its not something she likes.

Have you asked her?

I think she needs to wear it, and I really feel you're making too much of a big deal about it. If she will wear it, and you were happy enough to get your sister to make it then it's a no brainer.

Is it just for one day? If so, I'd ask her to go through with it and offer a nice outfit/top of her choice when she gets home. Teenagers often respond to bribery quite well .

Thanks again everyone, I haven't told her that I don't like it. When I showed her the picture, she seemed all crest fallen and said "did it have to be this colour". Her sister's one is unfortunately more her style. I have bought her shoes to go with it and will make sure she gets to enjoy the day.

So essentially the majority view is to go with the dress :), I would probably nog have thought twice if it was for me

I would go with the dress. Really either you or your DD should gave pointed out that she really disliked a certain colour, since you discussed this with dsis.

Thanks Spo, I have really bad memory when if comes to conversations :), I probably mentioned that she was not into that colour etc but it might not have been in context. I realise now that I should have been more specific but didn't want to be too much hassle for DS trying to find specific things. Live and learn :)

Could she wear the dress for part of the day then "spill something on it" and get changed? It doesn't sound like she's making a fuss though so I'd not mention it and just be proud of her for getting on with it.

Thanks Peso, we will get on with it as you suggest :)

And she sounds a nice kid.