To cancel his visit?

10 replies

Nabuma · 30/03/2015 13:59

NC as it might out me. I've arranged for DS(11) to stay with his Grandma over Easter weekend. We planned two weeks ago for me to meet her at the train station nearest to her (she lives a couple of hours away) with ds this Thursday (2nd April). I would collect him from the same train station on the following Tues. I'm to ring her between now and then and let her know what time train I've booked.
However, my DD2's (2) nursery is shut for training on the Thursday (only found out on Friday) and so would have to lug her and pram (train station is long walk away) plus DD1 (4) and luggage to train station to catch train to near Ds's Grandma and meet her. Just for background, Ds's grandma is not my DDS's grandma, but things are friendly between us all.
I would like to change the day from Thurs to Weds, when DD2's nursery is open so I don't have to bring her with me. DD1 is less trouble as she's older. But I can't get hold of DS's Grandma to talk about times and possible change of day. Can't book tickets until I've confirmed change of day with her, and prices are rising fast with limited seats available.
I have periodically rung her since Saturday am but phone is always engaged with no option to leave message/use ring back.
I have spoken to her son (DS's Dad) and he can't get hold of her either.
Have Facebook messaged her, and her daughter.
Her mobile doesn't get reception at her rural house but that has been tried repeatedly too.
I'm tempted to give it until tomorrow for her to get back to me (I'll keep ringing etc) and then cut my losses and plan a family Easter weekend with all of us together. Ds says he doesn't mind if he stays or goes.
AIBU to give her 'till 12pm tomorrow before I say no, we're having a family Easter weekend with ds home with us? Sorry for long op!

OP posts:

MrsFlannel · 30/03/2015 14:02

YABU. It's not fair on DS to cancel just because you don't want a bothersome walk.

How many miles are we talking? If less than 4 then YABVU.

SaucyJack · 30/03/2015 14:03

Is it usual for her not to answer messages/leave phone off the hook?

Are you not a bit worried?

ElizabethLemon · 30/03/2015 14:04

Do you think she's ok? I would be worried if no one had been able to contact her, especially as she's waiting to hear from you re train times.

TidyDancer · 30/03/2015 14:12

I would be more worried I couldn't get hold of her tbh. And yes I think YABU to want to cancel a visit for the sake of having to walk somewhere.

yellowdinosauragain · 30/03/2015 14:13

MrsFlannel are you for real? If the op isn't prepared to walk up to 4 miles to the station with a baby /toddler in a pushchair, a 4 year old and luggage with her ds, she's very unreasonable? Bollocks to that.

Op I'd think you were perhaps a bit unreasonable of your ds would be disappointed but given that he isn't fussed either way I'd do as you say. But I'd also be trying to get someone to check she's ok if possible.

Original poster

Nabuma · 30/03/2015 14:14

mrs flannel I can't get hold of her to let her know what the train times are, even for the day we originally planned. Walk is less than 4 miles but it's not the walk that I will find difficult, it's getting on train with pram, luggage, ds, and two young dds. When originally arranged with Ds's grandma I was anticipating it being just me, DD1 (4) and ds with his luggage, but DD2's nursery has unexpectedly shut for that day. But, whichever day I go on, she won't know what time to meet us.
saucyJack I know her phone has been crackly of late (maybe broken?) and she is one of these people who keeps herself very busy. Not the sort of person to check social media regularly so might not have seen my messages but sent them anyway as I thought it was worth a try. Mobile doesn't get reception at home. I've contacted every family member that I know (admittedly only my ex and her daughter) and they can't get hold of her either. I'm sure they would have heard if something had happened. She lives with her v long term partner.

OP posts:

MmeMorrible · 30/03/2015 14:15

Perhaps take a taxi to & from the station with the 3 DCs & the luggage?

TidyDancer · 30/03/2015 14:17

I agree with MrsFlannel fwiw. Four miles is hardly far (if that is even how far it is, OP hasn't said) and how much luggage can one child have for a weekend away?

TidyDancer · 30/03/2015 14:17

X post with op update.

Original poster

Nabuma · 30/03/2015 14:25

According to google map it is precisely 3.3miles. I would actually be planning on trying to get the bus (our buses are crap here!). The main issues I have as I see it is:
I'm anxious about getting on train with all of them in tow and pram.
And train times. She doesn't know what time to meet me. If I could get hold of her then it wouldn't be a problem. fwiw, if I couldn't get hold of her but we had previously agreed a time, then I would definitely stick to that and take DD2 along pram and all. Yeah, I would be a bit nervous about getting us al safely on train etc (dd2 is "spirited" to say the least at the moment!) but ultimately it's doable. And if I could get hold of her and she said, "I can't do weds can we stick to thurs please", that would be fine too. But like I said, we arranged Thursday but never settled on a time to meet. I don't want to get the train at my inconvenience on the Thursday and hang around at the station for whenever she turns up (if she does, she might not if she thinks I've not let her know a time) with three dcs.

OP posts:

Flip