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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My neighbours are doing my head in.

63 replies

BeanCalledPickle · 30/03/2015 09:05

Context. Terraced house. Neighbours are guy in his nineties and his two grown up children. Older guy obviously has a lot of care needs as there is a constant stream of medical visitors etc. We frequently see him 'escaping' and being chased down the road by his children. They always seem pissed off and I doubt it's a particularly fun existence. Had the fire brigade there at the weekend which is concerning in itself but ultimately not my business.

We are a family of three, soon to be four. I'm eight months pregnant. I have a nearly two year old.

My annoyance is with the fact that they always park over their drive which has the effect of blocking us in, or indeed out. They are careful to never park actually the strict entrance but we can only get on and off the drive at an angle so if they are at the edge we can't move. To be fair if I knock and ask them they move the car. But I'm really nervous that in an emergency, like going into labour in the middle of the night, we wouldn't be able to get out. Also When I come back in the car there is no where to stop on a busy road to go and ask them to move.

What can I do? I don't want to make their life more difficult. They obviously have their hands full. And are polite about moving when I ask, I just don't want to have to ask!!

They also have an extremely squeaky door upstairs which wakes me up. I normally get round this with earplugs but I'm about to have a new born. It feels so unreasonable to ask them to oil their door and I can't emphasise enough how much I don't want to contribute to their general life difficulties but it's SO LOUD!

What do you reckon??

OP posts:

OttiliaVonBCup · 30/03/2015 09:08

Why don't you just ask them the oil the hinges and be done with that?

Maybe they don't realise you can hear it.

Original poster

BeanCalledPickle · 30/03/2015 09:11

Just because if I was dealing with everything they were dealing with I would hate my neighbours asking me to deal with something else!

OP posts:

19lottie82 · 30/03/2015 09:12

I'd be tempted to ignore the door thing for the time being. In fairness, it sounds like the old guy won't be living there much longer.

Re the parking, just have a firm "chat" with then next time you ask them to move, mentioning the reasons about why you can't afford to be blocked in/out.

OttiliaVonBCup · 30/03/2015 09:13

It's only a squeaky door, it takes a moment to do.

No need to be a martyr.

Binkybix · 30/03/2015 09:14

Have you tried asking them not to park in the way that blocks you in in the future when you're asking them to move? Maybe explain that toute worried it might happen at night when you're in labour and you don't want to have to wake them up?

The door - I'd only ask them about that if we got on well, but oiling a door's not a big job.

Zebda · 30/03/2015 09:15

I think you need to talk to them about not blocking you in. You can mention the door as well. You might want to acknowledge to them that they will be experiencing noise from your place once you have the baby (not thst it can be helped). If you can hear a squeaky door, imagine how much they can hear from yours...

Sounds to me like they have a difficult life....

Original poster

BeanCalledPickle · 30/03/2015 09:16

Yeah I've repeatedly asked them not to park over the drive when asking them to move. Their response is always 'don't worry darling, we will always move if you need us to'.

OP posts:

Original poster

BeanCalledPickle · 30/03/2015 09:19

They probably won't get baby noise from us and their hall way and stairs adjoins our bedroom. I think it must be a squeaky door in the hallway.

OP posts:

Boysclothes · 30/03/2015 09:19

Sounds like you have to edge over the corner of their drive to get out? Otherwise I can't see how they can block you in if they are strict not to actually park over your drive?

Binkybix · 30/03/2015 09:20

Hmm. That is annoying. I think that your response needs to be firmer then - you appreciate that they move but it would be better for you if you didn't have to call round everytime, particularly as you very well may need the car in the night soon.

Boysclothes · 30/03/2015 09:20

If they're parking over their own drive, but blocking you in, that means you're edging over their access when you leave?

MidniteScribbler · 30/03/2015 09:22

If they are parking over their own drive, then it sounds like you need to access their driveway to get to yours. Unless you have a legal right of way, then they aren't doing anything wrong, and you need to sort your own driveway out so you don't need to use theirs.

spanky2 · 30/03/2015 09:27

I thought it was illegal to block someone in.

Original poster

BeanCalledPickle · 30/03/2015 09:28

Yes I suppose I do in a way. There is a dropped kerb across the front of our two houses. His is further back so he can drive straight on. Our house is at an angle so we can only drive on at an angle so if there is a car over the dropped kerb we can't do it. We don't drive over their driveway, just over the kerb.

OP posts:

kinkyfuckery · 30/03/2015 09:29

I'm struggling to understand the drive thing.

Re: the door, ask them to oil it! Pop round with a can of WD40 and offer to do it for them if they'd like. But, just a thought... could it be the old man's door and they leave it squeaky so they hear if he comes out, just if he has a history of 'escaping'?

Original poster

BeanCalledPickle · 30/03/2015 09:30

I had thought about asking for an extension of the dropped kerb but that wouldbt be possible as there is a street light there

OP posts:

Boysclothes · 30/03/2015 09:32

I see. It's a pain, but you don't have a right to drive over the dropped kerb in front of their house. I know because my friend had a similar situation where she was moving her car all hours for a neighbour who was using her dropped kerb to get in to his drive. Can you remove a bit of wall or make your drive more accessible somehow? In a way I think you're lucky, a lot of people wouldn't be happy to move their car all the time.

Original poster

BeanCalledPickle · 30/03/2015 09:32

I will take a photo to try and illustrate it. But obviously now they won't park there for ages!

OP posts:

PuttingouthefirewithGasoline · 30/03/2015 09:33

utter sweetness is your key here, can you take round chocs for them alland say how are they getting on...sounds like dementia foesnt it.

then very sweetly say you know they have an awful lot on their plate but would it be possible, to keep car to side as your terrified of needing to get out, in LABOUR!!!!! and need the access clear. your worrid about distubing them in middle of night...I am sure with a nice and pleasant approach and a little terrfied plead, they willl.

PuttingouthefirewithGasoline · 30/03/2015 09:34

btw we dont have any dropped curbed and we mount the curb to get on ours. but we also need an angle to get in.

Original poster

BeanCalledPickle · 30/03/2015 09:34

Oh that's interesting. I didn't realise I didn't have the right to drive over a dropped kerb if needed to to access my drive way.

OP posts:

Boysclothes · 30/03/2015 09:36

Not in front of someone else's house.

Original poster

BeanCalledPickle · 30/03/2015 09:40

Brilliant so I'm as annoying to them as they are to me!

OP posts:

londonrach · 30/03/2015 09:44

Im not sure you are legally allowed to drive over a none dropped kerb. Quick google confirmed that. From some random website...

''If you intend to drive a vehicle over the footway into your driveway off a highway, then you will need a dropped kerb. If you do not have dropped kerbs, you must not drive over the footway. If you do so, you are breaking the law and enforcement action could be taken to prevent such practice. Furthermore, you may become liable for any damage to the surface or sub-formation of the footway or any utility services damaged as a result of this action."

Dont worry op you can get a dropped kerb put in but it requires planning permission and money needs to paid to the council. I think its very easy but takes time.

HappydaysArehere · 30/03/2015 09:45

We have a neighbour who also has a series of medical visitors who have parked across our driveway. I know the frustration that this can cause. A short time ago I had a raging toothache at the beginning of a public holiday. I managed to get an emergency appt. on the Saturday morning and needed the car to get me there on time. Look out the door and once more an ambulance has been called by a visiting carer. This happens regularly and the crew stay for considerable times before leaving without taking her anywhere. The carer has parked in the driveway and there is nothing outside her house. There is nothing across her driveway or outside our house. However, my driveway is completely blocked and I am in agony. I go out and explain to the driver who only has to move forward so I can drive out. A young person with him suggests that I could manoeuvre sideways across the pavement. After studying me for a few moments the driver agrees to move forwards into the vacant spaces in front of the house. Once more there was no emergency except mine. The family, delivery people they all do it. Like you we say nothing as we don't wish to cause any trouble but in your situation I certainly would. If you explain how worried you are about the situation and also ask nicely if they could just drop some oil on that door as in your condition the noise adds to your inability to sleep. It would only take a minute for them to do that and the sight of a heavily pregnant woman in a worried state should make them spring into action and ensure you can get out. Sometimes people just don't think. Hope all goes well.

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