In the way I interpreted this comment?

[CrohnicallyInflexible]

I asked someone when they could stop taking a medication. They said (exact words) 'it can be stopped tomorrow'

They stopped taking it today, and claim I misinterpreted the above comment, that they were recommended to continue taking it till tomorrow, but it was their choice (this is an as-needed medication, not anything like antibiotics where you must take the full course).

So who is BU? Did I misinterpret or did they not explain it properly?

I mean, I interpreted it to mean it couldn't be stopped till tomorrow.

I'd take stopped tomorrow to mean last tablet taken today.

I would take it to mean last tablet taken today.

But does it really matter? This person said something, there was a misunderstanding. Wouldn't let it bother you.

They used 'stopping tomorrow' to mean the last tablet taken tomorrow, same as I would, but claim that 'it can be stopped tomorrow' meant that stopping tomorrow was the recommended course of action, but that they could choose not to follow the recommendation (hence they can stop tomorrow instead of they must stop tomorrow).

Whereas I took 'it can be stopped tomorrow' to mean it can be stopped from tomorrow, meaning definitely not today.

seriously if only! I have Asperger's and this sort of thing really bugs me- i have to dissect misunderstandings so I can see where the misunderstanding happened and learn from my mistake- either adding a new interpretation of something to my repertoire or asking more specific questions and following up ambiguous responses.

I think this is ambiguous, and would need to check if the speaker meant:

a) take last dose today, and tomorrow is therefore the first day stopped (like stopping smoking)
b) stop after you've taken the dose/s tomorrow.

But you don't know what context they used 'stopped tomorrow'.

I understand, now, why it bothers you. But really, on a forum, we can only guess.

It's a bit ambiguous. I'm really struggling to give a crap, as it really doesn't matter, and sounds none of your business. But in light of why you want to know, I'd suggest that sometime people are deliberately vague because they don't want to tell you exactly what the specifics are of some particular situation - but they don't want to outright lie. Sometimes, when called out on it or asked for clarification, they then tell you the truth and try to say that's what they meant in the first place.

I didn't want to have to put this as it's potentially identifying. But the medication is via continuous 24 hour IV, and therefore 'stopping' refers to the removal of the IV. It doesn't make sense to stop the IV today but say that you're stopping the med tomorrow (but I can see that can apply to something that happens on separate occasions, like smoking).

Sorry if that's a drip feed!

TRexing thank you, I think that is what is happening, however they have promised that due to my AS they will always either explain exactly what is happening, or explain that they are not comfortable discussing it. So there should be no reason for deliberate vagueness, and hence why I'm so frustrated by things like this.

But thanks for the insight, sometimes I really don't get NT people!

See - you knew it! Trust yourself, you knew what this person was doing. Do they often do this kind of thing, and then blame you for misunderstanding because you have Asperger's? If so, that's not good for your relationship. If it was me, I'd distance myself and instead hang about with people who didn't try to use any potential difficulties against me!

I think (as the thread shows) that there is ambiguity here. For what it's worth I'd interpret can be stopped tomorrow as meaning I'd take the last does today.

Is there a reason that they would want to mislead you about the length of time they were on this medication? Was it because they didn't want to worry you, or because they were actively trying to confuse you? It sounds like a delicate situation, but if you have an agreement about how you communicate, it's unfair of them to change the rules and blame you for not understanding.

I now have absolutely no clue as to what happened! I spoke to the person involved to try and clear up any misunderstanding. It should be noted here that I didn't actually hear the words, they spoke to DH.

DH maintains they are the exact words. Other person says they don't remember, but they wouldn't have said anything along those lines, that they had merely said it was their choice and not mentioned a timescale. I pointed out that they can't both be telling the truth, and that I didn't want to add to their stress at this difficult time, so wouldn't be seeing them any more. Except both DH and the other person got upset at that, so for the time being we've agreed that we'll make sure they speak directly to me and not ask DH to pass on messages.

The actual time on the medication doesn't even fucking matter! What matters is that this sort of thing is happening over and over again, until I don't know who to trust or believe, even though I have tried to explain about my difficulties and the importance of being clear and precise, and they just don't get it.

And then it makes me feel like a shit person because they're not well, and I'm more concerned about myself.

I took it as - it can be stopped tomorrow- per guidelines. But otherwise they could stop it when they want -off their own back

Is it possible that the person and your husband were not communicating with each other in the 'mode' that they use when sharing information with you? If they weren't in the frame of mind whereby exact details are at the forefront, could it be possible that they are both 'telling the truth' in as much as recounting their recollections, but one is mistaken? Could the person taking the medication be distracted/confused doe to their illness?

I do understand that the details are important to you, but it sounds as though the person taking the meds might have used 'it can be stopped tomorrow' in the idiomatic sense (ie meaning 'whenever') because they were talking to your husband, forgetting that this would be passed on verbatim to you who would assume it was literal.

dojo that could explain it. My husband was in the right 'mode' but the other person may not have been, explaining why they couldn't actually remember it when we asked for clarification later.

People on medication likely wont be clear or precise or wanting to try and be that way when they are poorly. Some medications like iv antibiotics can give you terrible sickness and tiredness.

It might be better to not see them if this is happening often, it's upsetting you and probably upsetting and frustrating them too. Maybe stick to you just communicating with them with out your dh in the middle because either could miscommunicate. Maybe even just by text since thats written? They can't focus on getting well and you can't support them if there's constant stressing and uncertainty.

I would take it as "it can be stopped tomorrow, today or whenever I feel like it." If the medication had the potential to be in any way addictive, I would take it as "it's not that bad, I could stop tomorrow if I wanted to"

maliaki at the risk of another drip feed, we have been talking to the poorly person's advocate/carer, who administers and oversees their medications, rather than the poorly person themselves- as they are indeed too ill to talk directly to. I didn't put that in the OP as I tried to simplify the situation.

I have requested before that we communicate via text, as I am much better that way. However, the person prefers to speak on the phone, so we agreed that when DH is there he will speak on the phone and when he's not we'll text.

Whereas I took 'it can be stopped tomorrow' to mean it can be stopped from tomorrow, meaning definitely not today.

I agree with you. It "can be stopped tomorrow" definitely means it can't be stopped today. If it "can" be stopped today, then it can be stopped today or tomorrow, it makes no sense to bring "tomorrow" into the statement.