Kids and clothing choices

[AliceAnneB]

How much freedom do you give your kids over what they where? My stepdaughter is a newly minted eight year old and this morning she came down ready for church in a outfit that was clown like really. I asked her to either change her dress or tights to something that coordinated. She did so but with some huffing. I'm wondering though if I should just leave it. Is it better to let her have self expression? I suppose I don't want to give the impression that I care enough to put my own son in a nice outfit but not her?

My DDs are 10 and 11. I have input into what clothes are bought, they decide what to wear on any particular day (so long as suitable for the occasion and weather). If I think what they are wearing does not match I will point it out to them and leave it up to them whether or not to change. Sometimes they do, sometimes they do not.

He he! What exactly was she wearing? Was she objecting to going to church?

It's a bit tricky with a step-daughter, I would think? Aren't you possibly creating an issue with her mother, as she likely bought the clothes?

I've always been a bit of a control-freak about my kids' clothes, I simply don't involve them in shopping and let them pick out of my tightly edited selection. It creates the illusion of choice.

I don't intervene unless it is hideously unsuitable. I also let them choose what to buy (within a budget) as I got fed up of spending money on clothes that don't get worn.

Ds1 developed notions of preference of clothes at 2. I intervene if it's a hypothermia risk e.g. shorts for an hour in the park, but if we're just walking across a car park, that's his problem. I have spare layers in the car if we broke down. His wardrobe is mainly shorts/ chinos and t-shirts so there's not too much margin for error.

I like co-ordinated. I put out ds3's (8) clothes at night for the next day. Most of his clothes are hand-me-downs, so he doesn't have the lovely matching wardrobe that I would like but I do buy him a few nice bits to make an outfit with things he has been given. If I have forgotten to get clothes out and he has to get his own he chooses an outfit that I have put out for him previously. Ds1(19) and ds2(17) buy their own clothes. Ds2 loves clothes and likes everything co-ordinating. Ds1 not so much .

My 7year old daughter has a super preppy super dressy style that she has cultivated independent of my laid back extra casual style. I think she looks ace and let her get on with it. Sometimes her uber girly step mum guides her on her weekends there and she comes back looking.. not quite herself but fair enough. Id only get involved if she was coming back filthy or inappropriate for the weather. It is healthy for kids both to develop a style and to see lots of other styles. I think if you are guiding her to experiment a different way that is ok rather than just telling her that she needs to look more to your taste. I wish someone had guided me a bit more to be honest so a lot of sources for inspiration can be a good thing.

Goodbyetoallocthat, her mother refuses to send my two step kids with anything so we buy them everything they need here. I refuse to insist on it staying here so half of it migrates back to their mums which is a pain but it is in fact their stuff. So no issue with it being a comment on their mums taste. She was wearing her Easter dress from last year which was a fairly formal green dress which is now way too small (fool me for not pruning it out of her wardrobe) with a really intricate floral pattern. She matched it with Christmas fair isle rights with hearts and reindeer that were a rainbow of colours. To top it off she had on a peach and light blue sun hat with a few necklaces. It was just a bit well small and colourful! She's such a gorgeous little girl I hate to see her looking like a clown. When she was smaller she routinely wore fairy dresses etc to church and I didn't flinch. Now that she's older it makes me feel like she just looks uncared for if that makes sense? Anyway, we had a chat and I think we are going to shop together for Sunday dresses and then she can pick and choose as she likes. The rest of the time it's up to her unless she's trying to rock climb in a formal dress - which she did yesterday.

Aw, that's pretty cute.