To think there's never a good time to have a DC and give in to broodyness?

[Patapouf]

DH have been thinking about TTC as we both feel we are ready for children but there are a few things I'm worried about which make me want to wait a few years.
We are stable financially, married for a few years now and in our late twenties. DH works full time and I work about 15 hours per week and study full time (half way through a degree as a mature student).
We are hoping to time it so that we have a baby soon after graduating which would minimise any impact on my career as it wouldn't have begun yet IYSWIM I'm planning on taking a PG course possibly part time which would give me c. 6 months at home with the baby before returning to my studies. DH shift patterns means that any need for childcare would be absolutely minimal. I'm aware that we could be TTC for ages but if all goes to plan this would allow me to spend a lot of time at home for the first few years without worrying about career impact. If we wait it will be at least 4 years and I'm worried that if we have any fertility problems I'll regret waiting. The pros of waiting would be that my earning potential will have increased dramatically and we will be much more comfortable financially, wouldn't have to worry about needing to pay for childcare, could go on holidays etc we are also planning to move abroad in around 4 years time.

Is there a right time to have a baby? Do you regret waiting? Or wish you had?

Agree there's no right time to have a child.

There can be very bad times to have a child, depending on circumstances, but this doesn't sound like it's the case for you.

I think if I was in your position, particularly as you've said children are more important to you than your career, I'd go for it now. Personally, the only thing I regret about having children is not starting earlier.

I accidentally fell pregnant last year. I was very upset, hadn't even started on a career, wanted to marry first, buy a house. Do things 'properly'. Then I miscarried, and I felt so guilty. Those things didn't seem to matter half as much anymore, all I felt was the despair of what I had lost. Now I'm pregnant again, I still have worries about money and when I'll get married, but sod it. My partner and I are so happy at the thought of our baby, it just seems right. Everything else will work out as it's meant to. Sorry for vomity mush .

Witches, you're entitled to your views. However, why on earth are you signed up to a parenting forum if you are so anti-pregnancy/adding to the population? Isn't there an anti-mumsnet out there for people like you, or do you get off on giving people smug lectures about what to do with their reproductive bits?

Weirdest responses ever from Witchesglove

It does sound like a good time to have a baby just after your studies have finished. We have have found it impossible for dh to retrain though but we have more kids and couldn't absorb the temporary drop in income. Friend is doing pt pgce and she had 5 kids so it's very hard work but doable

We wouldn't be averse to TTC earlier, I worry that having a newborn and trying to cope with final exams and a dissertation is going to be beyond stressful which is why if we could choose the exact date we'd go for mid summer next year!

itsnotmeitsyou

Thank you all for the reassurance that we aren't mad to be thinking of this now. Toxic DM often makes little digs about what a terrible idea it would be for me to have DCs 'at this stage' but that's because she doesn't think she's ready to be a grandmother

Patapouf, it truly is about how you and your partner feel. Stuff your mother. As for TTC though, it may take a while, it may also take a month or two. So personally, I would plan to plan to TTC if you know what I mean. I remember writing my dissertation, not an experience I wish to relive anytime soon! Is it an under graduate or higher degree you are studying?

Undergraduate it took me a while to get to uni, but at least I have travelled and misbehaved enough to not want to delay TTC so that I can have those experiences first.

It has FA to do with her really, but I don't want pity & disapproval if/when we announce pregnancy, I'd like my family to be happy for us.
If we aim to have a really fun, baby free 6 months before TTC and then being lucky enough TC quickly I'll be a happy bunny.

I think a lot of people wait and wait as they want everything in their life to be perfectly aligned. I had my first baby when things weren't 100% perfect for me. I don't regret it. I am the only one in my friendship group with children. We are now hitting our mid thirties...I wouldn't wait.

My view is that there can be bad times to have children but I don't think for many there is a perfect time.

I am pregnant, I know some of my friends think I am mad because I am unmarried, don't own my own property and don't have huge savings but DP and I thought about it very carefully and took the view that we'd rather not wait 2/3 more years in case either of us had unknown fertility issues (i'm 32).

In terms of career, one of my friends planned her pregnancy so she gave birth in the summer of her second year of uni, then returned in the october for the final year. She obtaineda 2.1, qualified as a solicitor 3 years later and had another child a couple of years after qualifying. I'm sure she'll tell you it was hard work but it can be done.

I was a bit later going to uni as well. You know you can deferre your dissertation for a bit, if worst comes to worst. Then again, I did that with mine, still ended up panic writing it the day before. I'm the Queen of procrastination though, no other excuse . I have a couple of family members I haven't told yet, I know (as much as they will he polite), I will get a lecture of sorts. A few advised when I miscarried, that it was for the best as I could now look for a nicer job. Yeah, because that's exactly what silver lining I could see at the time. Someone else told me 'the only advise I can offer you is, never listen to any bloody advise'. Advise is good, opinions aren't always welcome though, if that makes sense? Anyway, best of luck with your degree, as much as it stressed me out, I loved uni .

Thank you the shite people come out with is shocking, I'm sure your job prospects were your priority at the time

Procrastination is definitely a strength of mine (thanks MN) I've 3 essays due this week and Im on here instead of writing them.
I'm considerig training as a solicitor too, but have to get through the GDL first so it will be 3 years from now until I can work full time and 5 until I'm fully qualified.

I don't think you're mad luna what difference would being married make, aside from delaying things? We don't actually own our home either, but that isn't something we ever intended on doing, would seem silly given that we plan on moving anyway!

Patapouf the best time is when you feel ready. With that said, another thing to bear in mind if you are thinking of being pregnant during your last year of uni, the first 3-4 (possibly more) months of pregnancy are more exhausting than you can even believe. Just getting through daytime makes you feel as though you have run multiple marathons. Add to this the possibility of horrific morning sickness. And at the end, you will most likely be knackered again as well as mighty uncomfortable.
I'm not trying to put you off, I'm just recommending weighing up your uni workload in the last year with symptoms that you are likely to have. Good luck!

witches it's a good job everyone doesn't feel the same way as you, otherwise who would do all the jobs that you rely on? Just think 20-30 years in your future, who do you expect to produce your food, your entertainment, security, administration, therapy (you clearly need it!)? Go get over yourself and stop trolling.

Good point, last trimester would mainly be at home revising for exams so at least there would be no commute. although if I'm struggling now I'm not sure how I'd cope with exhaustion on top