Should I just let my daughter eat junk food every day?

[Sexyhouseslippers]

Hello my DD is 9 and she is a very fussy eater always has been. Please don't say put her food in the fridge and bring it out everyday she will eat when she is hungry because she won't. DD really enjoys baking and helping me cook etc but she won't eat it a few things she will eat is pasta/spaghetti, she only eats chicken and eats no other types of meats she enjoys cottage pie and chips and a few other things. Suggestions.

No real advice sorry, but if it's at all reassuring she has a more varied diet than I did at her age! I didn't grow out of it until my twenties and I survived mostly on chips. I hate the advice to keep giving a child the same meal until they eat it, that would have literally made me vomit. I now eat a greater range and am more open to trying things, though I suspect I'll always be a bit 'fussy'.

Honestly? From what worked for me I'd have new foods 'around' at meal times (on your plate, in a dish in the middle of the table), casually offer her them but not make a big deal if she refuses, or if she tries it and doesn't like it. Let her try small bites as many times as she needs but wait for her to ask for a proper portion before expecting her to eat any great quantity of it. Don't think there's much more you can do, though I'm sure other people will have different opinions

I had a "super taster" too OP. Nothing wrong with not eating what you don't like and I am a strong believer in letting them eat what they want within reason of course.

Pasta is good, chicken is good.

DS now eats most things or will try them, he refused point blank when little.

DS is 18.

Give her a vitamin supplement and try to relax about it. my dbro had massive issues with food until his early twenties. He fought and fought with my parents about it, becoming explosively angry when they tried to force him.

Once that pressure was removed, he started to try things on his own and now eats a lot of different foods. The more you add stress to the situation, the worse it will get.

That's actually not a bad diet. You can hide vegetables in the gravy of cottage pie...

I had a shocking diet when younger and survived on plain pasta and rice. I'm fine!

My diet is def more varied now although I'm still not great with veg. I just don't like them. I'm aware it's not good so have started making fruit plus veg smoothies. Could you do that for dd? Obvs keep offering new foods but also having a smoothie every day so you can at least know the vitamin intake is there? The one I had this morn had a courgette, spinach and a carrot in plus frozen fruit and orange juice - no way would I have had anywhere near that amount of good food otherwise and the fruit utterly masks the veg taste.

Will she eat blended veg sauce with her pasta? I steam courgette, pepper and carrot and then blend it and it makes a nice thick sauce. You could boil some frozen spinach cubes into it too, it really breaks down so wouldn't be easy to spot. I add it to loads of stuff ds eats!

I am another one who survived on a diet of bread, potato and sweet corn Until my twenties.

Only lasting damage was the enamel on my teeth didn't form so make sure she regularly sees a dentist.

I think you're doing okay OP - obviously it's not a perfect diet but it's really not that bad.
Yes to vitamins and relaxing. Yes to leaving a small amount of food stuff in the middle of the table - I, as a child and my my own dc were much more likely to try something if it felt optional and not just served on the plate.
Also because she's old enough to understand a little I'd start explaining how healthy different foods are in a relaxed way while she's helping you cook like - 'Wow! do you know that broccoli/apples/whatever are so good for you and healthy because.....'

That is good to know she does a lot of sports so I was concerned.

Coming from a fussy eater who still really struggles with different tastes and textures now, I really wish my mum had tried to force me to eat some foods more regularly. It's a struggle and I battle constantly with my weight, and I mostly blame my mum, which I hate myself for doing.

I was never made to eat fruit or vegetables and such, just because "I didn't like them", so now I cannot eat a balanced diet.

I ate custard, white bread and pizza, little frozen ones, till I was about 10. I know love food, cooking and new tastes. My parents largely ignored my limited palate, it was only years later that they told me how worried they had been.

I just snapped out of it, and started eating the more interesting stuff everyone else was eating. Being taken for my first ever chinese (80s) by a friends family helped. Bit of peer pressure! I also did a lot of sport.

We got an Actifry so my boys have chips 2/3 a week without the guilt and food arguments. I don't think its too bad if she eats pasta - tends to be a staple here at least 3x a week plus we eat lots of chicken as it's cheaper than other meats.

I tend to work on a meal plan of 4 main meals the kids will definitely eat then 3 they might eat or newish stuff

I really wish my mum had tried to force me to eat some foods more regularly.

You could well have had even more issues around food if that had happened. Forcing is not a word that should ever be used around children and eating.

OP, can you work out and provide a reasonably healthy, balanced diet which includes something she is happy to eat within every meal?

It isn't a good idea to make a big issue about food either way. Provide what you would like her to eat, place a limit on the junk food and leave her to decide what to eat from that.

Keep making other foods available but don't try to persuade her to try them. That will come with time.

The more children feel pressured to eat certain foods, the more anxious they will feel and the less they will feel able to eat them.

Just try to go with the flow and look at the balance of what she is eating over a week or a fortnight, not a meal or a day.

That's not a bad basis for a diet. It's probably better to make small changes rather than introduce completely new things. She likes cottage pie, so try shepherd's pie - nutritionally similar, but it's a new taste. Or cottage pie, with gravy enriched with a bit of tomato puree, put cheese on the mash and it's cumberland pie.

What works with DS1 is to have a challenge with a reward for trying something new. It doesn't just have to be food. DS1 set himself the challenge of trying mussels after seeing them on TV and he absolutely loves them. We've done it with less extreme things, like roast lamb, chicken etc which has helped him to be more amenable to trying foods he likes in a different format.

I agree - just give her the things she will eat and ensure that she has the opportunity to try new things without any pressure. If she will eat pasta, cottage pie and chicken, then you can provide her with a perfectly balanced meal every day (assuming you can sneak some veg into sauces) - it may be boring, but with my son I have found that works in my favour as he gets bored of eating the same old thing and so will try new things occasionally to ring the changes a bit!

That doesn't sound too bad to me, a better repertoire than a lot of fussy eaters and certainly not junk food. It must be frustrating and worrying for you, but the more you can relax over it, give her a multivitamin and keep different foods on offer without making an issue of it, the less stressful it will be for both of you.

DD1 was a terrible eater for a year, then a fantastic, even quite adventurous eater and now she's a fussy just spag bol / sausage and mash or "beige" freezer food eater. It seems to just happen on it's own. I really wouldn't worry. I'm a fussy eater and iv managed to turn out reasonably well

My DP was a fussy eater until the age of TWENTY FIVE!!! The only way he would eat veg before meeting me was blended up into a 'soup' but he started trying to eat it in solid food when he got together with me and I cooked dinner for him. Our DD is a picky eater too and it drives me up the bend but I believe she'll grow out of it eventually. Hopefully before her mi-twenties.

Same as many PPs have said, it doesn't sound too bad at all. DS is younger (nearly 4) but has a tendency to avoid new foods like the plague. he is getting slightly better, and I have found that I can hide a lot in dinners like cottage pie - my latest is including frozen carrot and swede mash and red lentils, which he ate and didn't notice at all.

best of luck OP

She sounds like me when I was a kid.

I can't say I grew out of being fussy, but I eat more and I did get more willing to try things.

I'd try to impress upon her the need to be polite in social circumstances - to try things people give her in company rather than just flat-out refuse (within reason, if there's something she really, really can't stand), but otherwise leave her to it.

It doesn't sound like a terrible diet. My parents tried lots of things to make me eat - can't leave the table, bringing out leftover food, etc. Nothing would have made me eat if I didn't want it and I was quite happy to not eat if that was the alternative.

Don't cook entirely separate meals, but it's kind, if you're making something "fancy" that she wouldn't like, that you take the base of it and leave it plain. She's more likely to eat that.