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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fed up that dp is STILL in bed sleeping off his hangover at 4.30pm?

24 replies

ElectraCute · 28/03/2015 16:39

That's it, really. He got in at around 4am (I think, was asleep), got up for about an hour at lunchtime and has gone back to bed. Says he's 'not feeling well'. No shit Sherlock. Have just been in and he's completely out for the count.

It's only once in a while now (used to be much more regular) but it still pisses me off. He's nearly 40, ffs, not bloody 19. AIBU?

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 28/03/2015 16:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HoggleHoggle · 28/03/2015 16:45

I think it depends. Has he left you looking after children/doing chores etc all day? If so, I'd be pissed off he's dragged it out so long. If not, I'd be a bit Hmm but let it go. And make him go and get a takeaway later.

TendonQueen · 28/03/2015 16:45

It's not the most sensible way to spend a weekend day, though you could argue we all need a break from being sensible sometimes. The important questions are: how often is 'not so often anymore', and what impact does it have on your weekend? Are you left looking after the kids all the time or cancelling things you were going to do together?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 28/03/2015 16:46

I'd leave him there now and he'll be fit for purpose tomorrow.

If it's very occasional I'd not be too pissed off.

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 28/03/2015 16:46

I would put an end to it by very loud music or some hoovering around him the lazy git

Original poster
ElectraCute · 28/03/2015 16:49

Well, ds is 11 so not really 'looking after'...Chores, yes. That's nothing new though. I just think it's a bit pathetic really.

Ds's dad was (is) an alcoholic who did this every single weekend though so it probably colours my judgement a bit. This feels like I've not moved on at all!

OP posts:
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 28/03/2015 16:52

I cant imagine why this is a problem, unless it is a recurring thing.

DH was out last night and was beyond ill this morning. Had he not had a full day of Stag Do activities booked and paid for, he would have been in bed all day. I have a 3yo and a 5mo. I genuinely wouldnt have minded as he barely ever goes out, where as I do quite regualrly. I want him to relax and enjoy his rare nights out and if that includes a 4am hometime and a duvet day the next day then so be. I dont mind.

Original poster
ElectraCute · 28/03/2015 16:52

I have actually put off doing something this weekend because I realised yesterday when I was planning it, that he wasn't going to be in any fit state today.

(In all fairness though I didn't tell him I was planning it specifically for today, it's just something we've been talking about that this weekend would've been ideal for.)

OP posts:
cleanmyhouse · 28/03/2015 16:57

i'm still on the sofa umder a duvet. i can now keep down water.

I'm 39.

EquinoxEclipse · 28/03/2015 16:59

I think once in a while is ok tbf. Would he allow you the same courtesy though?

silverbangles66 · 28/03/2015 17:01

I do think there's something a bit tragic about adults who can't stop drinking past the point where it will have a detrimental impact on those around them.

It's not a great example to set to an 11 year old.

Hope the rest of your weekend gets better OP Flowers

EatShitDerek · 28/03/2015 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UncertainSmile · 28/03/2015 17:26

Everyone does this every once in a while.
(I dont, but I don't like being drunk. I've done it plenty in my time though)

UncertainSmile · 28/03/2015 17:27

Flowers because someone partner is hungover?

Only ever on MN though. Everyone is a paragon of virtue.

grumbleina · 28/03/2015 17:35

Every weekend, no. Now and then, I don't see a problem. As well, it's not as though he can't get up. He's just choosing not to. Which is a nice choice to be able to make, sometimes.

I hauled DH out of bed at 9 this morning as we had to do something. He knew we had to do it, he chose to go out, he knew he wouldn't feel great but that's his choice as a grownup and he was a trooper about it, albeit got through about fourteen bottles/cans of various soft drinks in a two hour period.

You're not unreasonable to sigh inwardly though, like I did every time we had to stop and buy yet more soft drinks. It's still annoying. It's just that it's also kind of forgiveable.

keepsmiling2015 · 28/03/2015 19:18

If its o lying once in a while YABU. Give him a break. I'd spend all day in bed with a bad hangover.

I think some people need to get a life judging by some of the comments.

silverbangles66 · 28/03/2015 19:32

Flowers because the OP is upset that her partner cannot stop drinking before he has had too much and has said she has previously had a relationship with an alcoholic.

If you knew how horrible that was, you might not begrudge someone flowers.

Then again, you actually might Confused

DidoTheDodo · 28/03/2015 19:36

I'd find this annoying too. If my DH is going out, I usually suggest he stays somewhere else ( like with one of his brothers) and doesn't come home until he feels up to it. That way I don't have to watch and I get a day to myself!

CunningCat · 28/03/2015 19:52

Oh dear, go and put a cold flannel on his faceSmile I think hangovers get worse with age!

GoadyFuckAaargh · 28/03/2015 19:58

I'm still on the couch after last nights antics. Dp has mucked about in the garden all day and im sat like a burst couch, on the couch Smile

just about managed to do dinner for everyone.

do you have dc? do you have a chance to go out? fairs fair

hackmum · 28/03/2015 20:02

I wouldn't be happy about this - I really think it's the sort of thing you grow out of. And it's particularly irritating if you have obligations at weekends, e.g. doing the gardening, taking kids to classes, changing the bedlinen etc. It's not much fun being the person who's left to do all the chores because the other person won't get out of bed.

Favouritethings · 28/03/2015 22:58

Tomorrow, you stay in bed all day. Say you must have caught what he had.

RedSoloCup · 28/03/2015 23:02

To be honest I wish my OH would do this once in a while then I wouldn't feel so bad about going out as he never does!

PunkrockerGirl · 28/03/2015 23:06

hackmum
You sound like a barrel of laughs.

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