Calling me a liar

[UnderEstherMate]

DP is constantly calling me a "compulsive liar" or saying things like "that's how I know you lie all the time", usually light heartedly, often over the most trivial things.

For a bit of backstory, we have had trust issues in the past (me when we first got together when I was 16, him years later after DD was born) but we have since worked them out and I don't feel that there are any issues with trust now. We are generally very happ you, despite the odd bicker now and then which I think is normal.

This "liar" things is really annoying me though. I don't lie, and certainly not about silly things like how many times the children came in the room when I was trying to have a private chat with DSis (which is what this morning's "lie" was, apparently.) We had a big row about this because I am fed up of being made out to be a liar.

Am I making a bigger deal out of this then it needs to be?

Ok read the link on gaslighting, it was so true to my life that I was reading it through tears. Can't make any decisions because I'm scared of making the wrong choice, feel like I'm going crazy, second guessing myself all the time, feel like I should be happier than I am then feel guilty because I'm not then I feel even worse.. Will start my own thread in relationships but I'm afraid I know what the response will be.

This is awful. Very serious conversation needed, and really worrying that your DC are being told that you are a liar too - even in a jokey way. This will be disturbing and upsetting to them and will eventually adversely affect the way they view you.

I can't decide if your DP is a thick twat who doesn't realise how very offensive he is, or an abusive arsehole who knows exactly how this makes you feel and enjoys watching you get upset. I'm leaning towards the latter. Please consider your exit strategy, before your relationship with your DC is really damaged.

Theendoftheworldasiknowit - you know he is abusive, and you can find a way out. Good luck.

Bottom line: if you tell someone they upset you and they carry on doing it, they are doing it on purpose. End of.

Is he a distrusting person on the whole? How old are you both now?

Does he use weed?

Christy yes he has got real issues with trust, but our relationship is good, generally speaking and he has no reason to mistrust me. I'm 23 and he's 25. We've been together 7 years and no weed smoking.