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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I don't get the obsession with 'selfies'!? and I don't understand how am i supposed to respond!

65 replies

HiggledyPiggledy123 · 27/03/2015 19:58

Flicking through the oh so wonderful world of facebook this evening and there are 15 different selfies on the main page! I don't get it, why take a photo of yourself, then share it. Is it not a little self obsessive? 3 of these 15 are of the same person - not doing anything, not with anyone, just posing on their own. Am I supposed to comment? what am I supposed to say?
I say this tongue in cheek as of course everyone is free to portray themselves as they want but I genuinely don't get it (this also could be being a slightly overweight, mother of two - so a selfie would not be a good thing for me - maybe its a jealous of all these beautiful people!) And I don't even have a phone which can take photos so selfies not my thing!!

OP posts:
Mintyy · 27/03/2015 21:13

It's something I don't understand either op.

Sallystyle · 27/03/2015 21:13

Nothing wrong with wanting compliments.

I loved getting compliments on my first selfie that turned out well.

I was feeling pretty and I sucked the compliments right up.

pictish · 27/03/2015 21:17

I can understand that Amazingbouncingferret.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 27/03/2015 21:18

I'm not really friends with the sort of person who posts lots of boring non-description selfies. I have no problems with them as such, if they show someone in an unusual or interesting situation eg a weekend away or a party or something. But if it's just yet another one of them pouting in their bedroom then I would actually unfriend them as they just wouldn't be on my wavelength. I do think it's the territory of slightly insecure teenage girls looking for approval From their friends so I can also see why teenage girls do it and fair enough, but when you're pushing 40 and still doing solo bedroom selfies then I just think "oh for fuck's sake, grow up!"

Yes, I do judge those people and I assume they must have body/insecurity issues.

toffeeboffin · 27/03/2015 21:22

I think people expect you too day how beautiful they are... Makes me sick. It's so edited, you never see anyone post 'just cleaned the loo and unloaded the dishwasher'.

And another thing, if you don't put it in fbook, people think you dont have a life!

I do, I just dont want to share it!

debbriana · 27/03/2015 21:43

I was taking selfies over ten years ago with my none digital camera. I don't know why they think it's a new
Thing.

PuttingouthefirewithGasoline · 27/03/2015 21:47

I saw a program on how a young man became obsessed with updating his profile and became ill with it all, I think its worrying, I worry for my DD's when they get to this age. It was hard enough going out as a teenager and feeling people looking without the pressure to update with selfies.

DoJo · 27/03/2015 21:48

The historical tradition of oil paintings was basically the nobility taking long winded selfies - nowhere near new!

I think people expect you too day how beautiful they are... Makes me sick.

Why are you friends with people that inspire such negative feelings in you?!

RL20 · 27/03/2015 21:56

I'm only 22 and am not a selfie person! The only profile pictures I've had on Facebook are of me and my other half or me and a friend.
Don't get me wrong I do my makeup every day, but never feel the need to take photos of myself to upload to Facebook? I actually don't think I would have the time to sit/stand and pose!
I'm definitely old before my time though. I get up, go to work, go home, and get changed into my dressing gown again! If it's my day off, I don't really wear anything or do anything spectacular with my looks that would make it selfie-worthy anyway! Grin

takemeuptheeiffeltower · 27/03/2015 22:06

I understand group selfies, but those selfies where some vain, needy person is obviously desperate for people to comment?
I find them hilarious.

Hey Gawjus!
Looking Good Babe
and other gringey comments and likes

I purposefully won't comment. These people are desperate for positive comments and comment just feeds their already inflated egos.
would love to have the guts to say You look like shit

Maybe we should feel sorry for them.
What kind of person seeks constant approval of their Looks?

Why not strive for approval of Achievements?

PoisonPension · 27/03/2015 22:07

As you say you fill your time with other things. These selfie people spend their time looking at themselves in the mirror and share their reflection on fb. All a bit of a qaste of time and narcissistic really.

Aliceinvodkaland · 27/03/2015 22:09

paxy i find facebook wieldy too

Mrsstarlord · 27/03/2015 22:17

I don't take selfies of just me but I do out lots of pics on FB as its a good way to store them, I don't lose them this way ??

DoJo · 27/03/2015 22:23

selfies where some vain, needy person is obviously desperate for people to comment

These people are desperate for positive comments and comment just feeds their already inflated egos.

But why are you friends with people who you feel this way about?

What kind of person seeks constant approval of their Looks?

Your friends apparently! You have added them on Facebook!

DoJo · 27/03/2015 22:25

I don't take selfies of just me but I do out lots of pics on FB as its a good way to store them, I don't lose them this way

Not the point of this thread, but you should consider backing up your photos somewhere more practical than Facebook - the images stored on there are often much smaller and lower res than the originals.

Kaekae · 28/03/2015 00:10

It is even worse when they take a selfie and there is a filthy bog in the background.

pollykinesis · 28/03/2015 03:30

I think they're hilarious and show how lacking in insight some people are. Of course ones of people looking happy up a mountain or with their friends/family are lovely but the bi-weekly, lone selfie with a glass of wine or in front of a mirror is mortifying. A woman I know does this All. The. Time... I'm always pleased (in a really mean way) when she only gets one or two likes

RL20 · 28/03/2015 05:42

pollykinesis I also know of a girl who does this. Every selfie looks pretty much exactly the same. She always seems to be wearing a vest top with her cleavage hanging out too. Often pictured with all of her children's toys scattered everywhere in the background.
Almost as bad as when people write attention-seeking cringey status' too. I said almost...
But that's a whole other thread!

DrankSangriaInThePark · 28/03/2015 06:17

No matter how young and beautiful the selfie taker is, the fact that they are holding the camera at an odd angle (why do selfies have to be taken from above, anyone know? Confused) and too close to their faces means that everyone looks weird and distorted in one.

Dd's friend, a perfectly normal 12 yr old, is obsessed with them. Will take upwards of 100 a day. She looks ridiculous on all of them. She's young, so her arms are still even shorter and therefore the camera even nearer to her face.

I think it's insecurity. It's definitely a teenage girl thing. Boys don't do it nearly as much I don't think.

I tutor and in one of the girl's rooms, the walls are plastered with them. 1000s. Literally. I find it claustrophobic just being in the room. The obsession with how she looks must be all consuming.

Thankfully I don't know many adults who do it.

itosh · 28/03/2015 06:24

I hate them. What I equally hate is now when out with friends and a little drunk somehow think a selfie is a great idea. This however is a group selfie rather than on my own. But I would find it very er.. vain of myself to post a selfie of myself

notharriet · 28/03/2015 06:27

I worry about why young girls do it so much. My dd is only 8 and she's getting in to it, I think seeing older girls selfies. My DSD would have hundreds and hundreds of selfies on her camera roll and spend whole afternoons deciding which was best to be uploaded on to FB, or Insta as is now more popular.

I think for grown women they're just getting the dregs of what the yoof have been doing for years now. people need the reassurance I guess

seriouslypeedoff · 28/03/2015 08:58

I take selfies. However its usually because I don't trust strangers with my camera. So on a trip to London recently I have a collection of selfies of me and dm, all over London with stuff in the background, in the touristy areas. I don't do selfies of just me. I don't really get that.

I get confused when the media will say 'beyonce posts a selfie of herself doing yoga' when its clearly been taken by someone else. Surely if someone else is taking it, its a photo.

SmilingHappyBeaver · 28/03/2015 09:06

I have noticed an inverse relationship between IQ and the number of selfies posted on social media. This must be why I never post selfies...

popalot · 28/03/2015 09:10

FB is like a little portal into someone's mind. Their posts can be quite revealing! Lots of selfies imo shows a lack of selfesteem coupled with selfobsession and a lack of other things going on in their lives. I cringe for them, because one day they might realise it and be a little embarassed. Same goes for all the moaning posts about weather or how ill they are all the time, or the ones that reveal how aggressive someone is when they passively moan about 'someone' or swear a lot about the conductor/work colleague. Anyone who I find too irritating gets subtly defriended because I like to keep my newsfeed a happy place.

Mrsstarlord · 28/03/2015 09:11

DoJo, that is a good idea but I'm terrible with passwords / doing things like that. I have 4 broken PCs with hundreds and hundreds of photos on which I don't want to throw away as I'd lose the photos but I don't know how to get them off. Any suggestions for virtual back ups?