Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

ds excluded for fighting but am I being too hard/ unreasonable?

23 replies

skinnyabc · 27/03/2015 18:11

My year seven has been excluded for fighting. It will be for 2 days. My mh so bad at moment I didn't even feel shocked. I am a so. Ds never

OP posts:

DailyFailSideBarOfShame · 27/03/2015 18:12

did you accidentally post too soon?

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 27/03/2015 18:13

That's rough OP.

Is his behaviour as bad at home?

Original poster

skinnyabc · 27/03/2015 18:14

Sorry posted too soon. Ds never been in big trouble before. Don't know what to do but have banned tonight's sports training but my DM thinks he is being punished twice and IBU. My head just mashed tia

OP posts:

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 27/03/2015 18:15

Has he given you a reason for the incident? Is he being bullied or is he being a bully?

If its the former yabu to punish him further but if its the latter then is throw the book at him

Original poster

skinnyabc · 27/03/2015 18:18

He was tormented over our family situation. Just feel mean after DM waded in

OP posts:

DailyFailSideBarOfShame · 27/03/2015 18:18

No I think it's right that there should be some sanctions at home as well. To exclude a child of only seven it must have been pretty bad.

Do you think that your MH problems are a factor in his behaviour at the moment? Is he generally a bit too physical with other children, or did he have an extreme reaction to something that happened or was said to him, for example teasing?

ThatBloodyWoman · 27/03/2015 18:19

I don't think you need to punish him again,instead find out why he felt the need to fight.
Its your chance to let him come to you and talk to you about difficulties and problems,rather than him trying to hide them from you for fear of further punishment.

DailyFailSideBarOfShame · 27/03/2015 18:21

Ah, sorry crossed posts. What is your family situation> It's not often that other seven year olds would be aware of any unusual 'situation' that might carry stigma. What has gone on?

Original poster

skinnyabc · 27/03/2015 18:21

He is year seven not age seven

OP posts:

DailyFailSideBarOfShame · 27/03/2015 18:23

oh! sorry, didn't read it properly!

That makes much more sense.

BuzzardBird · 27/03/2015 18:23

I am a little shocked at the school excluding him. Have you been into school to get the full picture?

Jessica78 · 27/03/2015 18:39

I think you are doing the right thing - he's been fighting & has been excluded - IMO there's never a reason for physical violence regardless of what someone says to you. you are supporting the school sanction by showing you are also unhappy about his behaviour.
Stick to your original thoughts!

PtolemysNeedle · 27/03/2015 18:51

YANBU. Two days off school isn't really a punishment, it's just a way of ensuring that he knows what he has done is serious. He absolutely deserves not to do the things he enjoys for two days.

NeedABumChange · 27/03/2015 18:53

I think you are doing the right thing. You are backing up the school. Fighting is unacceptable and it is right that there should be consequences.

DixieNormas · 27/03/2015 18:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Feckeggblue · 27/03/2015 18:54

Goodness no, a child who has been excluded shouldn't be continuing with home life as though nothing has happened

ChipDip · 27/03/2015 18:55

I agree that you are doing the right thing. Unfortunately whatever your home situation is, it is never acceptable as a reason for violence.
Is your DS getting any help with regards to the situation at home.

IhateStampysVoice · 27/03/2015 19:00

What was his reason why he was fighting?

I was horrendously bullied at school and was fighting most days. I was expelled eventually.

I never started one of those fights, not one. But I wasnt going to stand there and be punched.

TheHouseofMirth · 27/03/2015 19:02

Clearly you need to acknowledge it and violence is never acceptable but surely if he lashed out as a result of being tormented about his family situation then he migh need soem support as well as or instead of punishment?

ItsAllKickingOffPru · 27/03/2015 19:06

Are you in contact with the school about the incident beyond being informed about the exclusion? I would hope they want to work with you (and your DS) to avoid this happening again.

Mostlyjustaluker · 27/03/2015 19:11

Will he be doing internal exclusion in school or has been excluded to home? In my school external exclusion is much more serious but any exclusion will be followed by a reinfretion meeting at school where strategies to preventing this from being repeated will be put in place. School should be providing work for him to complete at home.

momtothree · 27/03/2015 19:14

U need to talk to him and get the truth, was he tying to defend u? Was the other boy excluded? Takes 2

DrCoconut · 27/03/2015 19:32

If someone tormented him over his family situation (and you are certain of that) I would arrange a treat for the time off school not further punishment. I hope he properly thumped the little shit. Me and my brother were on the receiving end of this sort of thing, lone parent family, mum with MH issues etc. My brother ended up snapping and they shut up after that. He has never been in trouble since and is a sensible adult and dad now.

Flip