AIBU- friends 'push present'

[selly24]

Perhaps I am sensitive as I believe in thoughtful, modest giving in any case but feel I have learnt something new about a friend I consider close. She has just had first baby and was posting on social media asking advice about which new practical bag to get. Her dilemma was between a few very very high end designer bags that cost SEVERAL THOUSAND POUNDS! When I queried wether she should buy a FLAT instead she said 'come on its my push present'. I never knew such a thing existed (Surely the 'gift' is a healthy beautiful child!?) I thought I knew this girl, admired her for her lack of materialism, common sense: seems totally out of character as although (her husband) earns a good salary, they have a few nice things- but they got a lot of baby gear at nct sale, 2nd hand crib etc.... Thought her priorities were different....

I got a push present - think it's quite an American thing as I hadn't heard of it (in the Caribbean). It has no effect on you and makes her happy doesn't it? Yeah the gift is a beautiful baby blah blah blah - but I REALLY love my watch too

Why do you care what she spends her money on?
If she can afford it, and wants a new bag, why not? And it's not really comparable with a flat, is it?

Yeah, push presents are a thing now, I can't bear it either. It's nothing to do with you how she spends her money, though (though my priorities would be more similar to yours FWIW).

Where do you live? A flat for a few thousand pounds!

But seriously, don't be a sour puss. So what if she's normally admirably unmaterialistic and oozes common sense. Whatever that might be. Hah.

Why have you got two threads on this?

How can she buy a flat for a few grand?

Some people are crap with money OP. Why does it bother you? It's nothing to do with you

I don't understand why buying 2nd hand baby items = a lack of priorities. The baby grows out of baby items very quickly a handbag can be used for years.

Whilst calling them push presents is new, the father giving a gift to the mother after birth has been around for years. Traditionally it has been jewellery.

Lone I agree my grandparents generation it was often rings with gem stones. It wouldn't occur to me to mention it to DH but if he wants to buy me a gift to show his appreciation I won't be coming over all self righteous about it.

My DP gave me my eternity ring after the birth of our first DC. He'd be quite affronted if someone called it a push present though - to him, giving an eternity ring after the first child is born is rooted in tradition.

A gift is lovely. But the term "push present" sounds vulgar to me.

I had to have sections, might be why I never got a "push" present

DH bought me a necklace after dd1 was born, and earrings after dd2. I love the sentimentality behind them.
i love jewelry with stories behind it. (In fact, in each of my jewelry boxes I've written down why I have each piece, anniversary gift or present from mum etc. )

Dh bought me a gift - a beautiful gold bangle - and also chose a going home outfit for dd when she was born . Wasn't done as a 'push' present and certainly never heard the term back then. He just bought me a present I guess as he was feeling so emotional and happy at the time. Was a surprise and not expected at all.

Hula, that sounds really romantic and rather beautiful.

Oh God, just what we need. Another 'thing'. Stag do's and hen nights going on for days and days, madly expensive weddings with poems begging for money, baby showers, gender reveal parties and now 'push presents'.

How many material 'things' are going to be dreamed up? How many reasons to waste spend yet more cash?

Nothing wrong with a man buying his partner a nice piece of jewelery after a birth, for eg, as a heart felt thank you if he feels inclined, btw.

But the expect on of a 'push present'? Yuk.

*expectation

Wow-never heard of a push present! Feel like I really missed out now- is it too late to ask for one (or two?) DC are 18 and 15!!

LittleBairn I really DO approve of the 2nd hand stuff. Evidence of friends common sense!