Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To want to go to hospital for the day by myself?

27 replies

ScaryMaryHinge · 27/03/2015 13:13

Next week I need to go to the local hospital for a series of tests. The test are just montoring for an ongoing condition, there's no real possibility of any kind of very bad news, therefore I don't need handholding. Also none of the tests are more invasive than having blood taken, and none of them involve any kind of sedation that could make me sick or woozy.

I'm planning to take a taxi to the hospital (DH needs the car for work) then DH is coming home from work early to pick DD up from school so he'll pick me up when I'm finished. If the hospital are really quick, unlikely I know, and he's not home by the time I'm finished I'll either get another taxi home or the bus. I'm expecting a long, dull day of sitting around waiting for tests then waiting for the results, and will be taking my Kindle to keep myself amused.

The problem is both my mum and my best friend are insisting that I need to be driven to the hospital and "kept company" for the day, and are acting quite offended that I've refused this. I think they think I'm being some kind of martyr in refusing their admittedly very kind offers, but really I'd just rather go on my own, it'll be much easier.

DM lives about twenty miles away and works full time, so she'd have to take time off work, even if she just drove me to the hospital. DM is also the kind of person who always worries where the nearest loo is in case she needs to go, or where she can get something to eat or drink in case she feels "funny" or gets dehydrated, and I know she'd spend the day fussing about these type of things, which in turn would make me stressed.

BF has two pre school aged DCs, so she'd either have to find someone to look after them, or bring them with her. I don't think anyone at the hospital would appreciate me turning up with two unnecessary bored toddlers . She's also a terrible time keeper, and we would most likely be screeching into the hospital car park two minutes before my first appointment. I'm used to her timekeeping and accept it as part of her, but I don't want to be late.

I don't think I'm BU to want to go by myself, am I?

OP posts:

Jackie0 · 27/03/2015 13:17

Yanbu at all, stick to your guns.

Pyjamasandwine · 27/03/2015 13:20

I know this sounds mad but it's quite nice to have any excuse to have some alone time isn't it rather than have to make conversation in a waiting room.

Stick to your guns. Well said.

Original poster

ScaryMaryHinge · 27/03/2015 13:23

Pyjamas, that's excatly how I feel. I don't want to feel that I have to do anything other than read and wait around.

OP posts:

Londonbug1 · 27/03/2015 13:26

Lie- say they've been cancelled then just go on your own anyway. You can they say they made a mistake and called you back at the last moment!!!!

Dishonesty is always the best policy

Charlie97 · 27/03/2015 13:32

I had this recently with an op, OH dropped me off, I then had to wait until I went to theatre. OH wanted to stay, I wanted him to leave me, then come back when I was up from recovery.

I got him to leave in the end and I read my Kindle peacefully and was perfectly calm.

He was tearful when he left as we thought I was have a general, (I had a spinal block in the end) if he had stayed he would've made me far more nervous.

Stick to your guns

BullshitS70 · 27/03/2015 13:49

Oh I thought this post was going to be about wanting a day in a hospital bed having your food brought to you, reading magazines and snoozing and watching telly that doesn't include Cbeebies and not having to wipe arses at any given time, not think about snacks, and not doing the school run.

Because that's what I want to do!

shovetheholly · 27/03/2015 13:53

I have been in hospital for lots and lots of tests lately, and it is a very efficient production line - they move you from machine to machine with hardly any time inbetween. I didn't get any of my crappy magazine read, despite being there for 3 hours because there were constant things to do Maybe you could tell them this and suggest that you'd rather spend the time with them when you're not being poked and prodded around? And arrange for them to take you out for afternoon tea somewhere lovely instead?

Summerisle1 · 27/03/2015 13:53

YANBU. Sometimes it is just so much easier and more preferable to attend appointments alone and certainly, it doesn't sound as if either your dm or bf would cause you other than stress! I know that in similar circumstances I'd be perfectly happy to take a book and just wait it out alone. The need to keep relentlessly talking to people would not help!

Definitely stick to your guns!

DeliciousIrony · 27/03/2015 13:55

Just say thanks but I'll be fine on my own, politely but firmly, and stick to it. I would feel exactly the same, it's a long day anyway without having to worry about 'entertaining' someone else, and it's a good excuse to read a really good book and get a bit of peace.
Bit weird that they'd take offense and be so insistent, seeing as it sounds fairly routine.

confusedandemployed · 27/03/2015 14:00

Last year I had to go to hospital for a day for a procedure. I took the bus (sedation meant I was not allowed to drive home), took magazines / iPod / books to entertain myself and DP looked after DD, then 1 year old.

I had such a lovely day! Just lolling on a bed relaxing while the occasional nurse prodded and poke me. It was bliss. YADNBU.

Love51 · 27/03/2015 14:00

I am with you on this. I would feel 'responsible' for hangers on. I'd rather feel responsible for them somewhere where I had some control over proceedings.

tobysmum77 · 27/03/2015 14:03

I would absolutely go on my own. I also went in for a procedure alone a couple of years ago. I drove there and dh came later on the train to pick me and the car up. Spending time with family and friends It's meant to be fun

Donthate · 27/03/2015 14:03

Yanbu but they only want to be with you because they care. Tell them your dh is going with you. Problem solved.

workhouse · 27/03/2015 14:04

YANBU OP. I get very irritable when I have to go to the doctors or hospital, and to be frank, other people annoy me, and I would rather just do it on my own.

Poor long suffering DH had to sit and face the wall for a while when I was in labour, as his concerned face was making me stressed!! We laugh about that now.

TwoOddSocks · 27/03/2015 14:06

YANBU, a day in a hospital reading a kindle actually sounds very appealing to me (as long as there is no potential for bad news or terribly invasive tests of course). I'd hate to have that disturbed by a fussing DM or a pair of raucous toddlers (trying to keep a toddler entertained in a hospital all day sounds like hell on earth!). Nice of them to offer but no thanks!

f1fan2001 · 27/03/2015 14:08

YANBU

I enjoy the solitude and the chance to not feel guilty about having other things to do

ArcheryAnnie · 27/03/2015 14:09

ScaryMary I understand this.

I went in for a suspected heart attack a few months ago, and once I had DC settled with someone, didn't actually want anyone else there at the A&E, despite offers. It was a very long night, but it would have been even longer if I'd felt responsible for someone else, too.

madreloco · 27/03/2015 14:09

There is no problem here. Thank you, but no, is all you need to say.

cabbageandgravy · 27/03/2015 14:13

Well you could tell each of them 'thanks thats so kind but [the other] has offered and I didn't want to offen d her' --even though I have--...!

QueenBean · 27/03/2015 14:21

Agree with the others

Stick to your guns!

And erm, enjoy your day at the hospital!

geekymommy · 27/03/2015 14:29

I have health anxiety, and the thought of their finding something wrong and my family or friends knowing the details gives me the screaming meemies. I don't even let DH come to my OB appointments with me.

Having to entertain a bored toddler at the hospital if that wasn't absolutely necessary? No way in hell.

MyVisionsComeFromSoup · 27/03/2015 14:37

MIL keeps wanting to come along to DD2s hospital appointments to keep me company . Not sure why DD2 isn't capable of doing that (she's 17), and why I need to be kept company in the first place. It's bad enough that DD2 wants to chat all the time and I never actually get my book read .

geekymommy · 27/03/2015 14:49

I do not like people, especially people who I want to think well of me, seeing how scared my health anxiety makes me.

Stratter5 · 27/03/2015 15:46

I understand completely. There's a certain peacefulness to being caught up in an NHS test production line. You're one of many, and get the opportunity to just sit, with no pressure of thinking you should be doing something.

Wheny ex father was last over, many years ago, I badly injured my hand and had to go to A&E. XH came with me, we took the Sunday papers with us, and thoroughly enjoyed being able to just sit there in silence, reading. No having to entertain, make conversation, or thinking we should be washing up, or doing. Bliss. Neither of us wanted to go home after I'd been seen, so we sat in a corner, and drank coffee quietly for another hour.

Original poster

ScaryMaryHinge · 27/03/2015 16:02

Thanks everyone, I willbe sticking to my guns.

I know they both mean really well, i think they both think I'm saying no because I don't want to put them out, and I don't, but as so many people have said it's quite nice to not need to think about anyone else and simply read in peace between tests, having either of them there could potentially be quite stressful.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2