Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'I'm looking to.....' Does this annoy anyone else?

41 replies

lottieandmias · 27/03/2015 06:39

These days it seems to be increasingly fashionable for people to say this. I think it's pretentious and meaningless.

'I'm looking to speak to Mr SoandSo'. Why not 'Can I speak to MrSoandSo' please. And it's used in so many other situations. For some reason it bugs me like nothing else! Where has it come from?

OP posts:
BathtimeFunkster · 27/03/2015 06:45

It's not meaningless, it makes perfect sense.

Using the language you speak in a way that others understand is not pretentious.

Making up your own (meaningless) rules for how other people should speak is quite silly.

And definitely pretentious if you imagine your rules make you better than people who don't know (or care) about them.

zfactor · 27/03/2015 06:56

YANBU. I think the users of such terms think it's more polite than just asking outright for something (it isn't), so yes, I agree it's a little pretentious/affected. (It's quite likely they say 'pardon' and not 'what' as well...).

DustyMaiden · 27/03/2015 07:02

May I, not can I.

zfactor · 27/03/2015 07:05

Dusty - The OP wasn't asking for a critique of their grammar usage; pointing out the obvious doens't make one clever!

Yangsun · 27/03/2015 07:06

I think there's a slight difference in meaning between say " I'm looking to buy a Ford " and "I'd like to buy a Ford". The first implies you are considering it, evaluating the available options and may ultimately buy one. The second is more definite. That obviously doesn't work in your phone example though but it wouldn't bother me as long as I understood the request.

Yangsun · 27/03/2015 07:12

Oh just thought, I might say "I'm looking to speak to" instead of "may I speak to" if I wasn't sure I had called the right number.

Ragwort · 27/03/2015 07:15

YANBU - I am prepared to be considered very old fashioned but I do think there is a lot of 'sloppy' language used these days. My mother used to teach elocution, you never hear of that now Grin.

SoupDragon · 27/03/2015 07:22

The OP wasn't asking for a critique of their grammar usage

If you are going to criticise people for saying something you think is incorrect and then give an example of what they should say, it's probably a good idea to actually get it right.

People in glass houses and all that...

zfactor · 27/03/2015 07:33

But what is 'right' isn't always clear; some people think you should never split an infinitive, for example...

Royalsighness · 27/03/2015 07:35

I can't stand "addicting" as in "creme eggs are so addicting" what on earth is that?

SoupDragon · 27/03/2015 08:26

But what is 'right' isn't always clear

The difference between can and may is.

Abraid2 · 27/03/2015 08:31

OP, YANBU.

Other annoying usages:

Reaching out (instead of telephoning/ringing/calling)
Upcoming (the British English word is 'forthcoming')
Issues around

DoJo · 27/03/2015 09:08

The difference between can and may is.

In what sense?

www.oxforddictionaries.com/words/can-or-may

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 27/03/2015 09:15

I thought it was just incorrect, or possibly regional. I've always lumped "I'm looking to do xyz" with using "want" + verb in the simple past tense for something that needs doing (for example "his trousers want washed" ) and grammatically incorrect but regionally acceptable variations like that (also "step foot" instead of "set foot" falls into that category).

I'm glad it's pretentious not regional, as I find it mildly irritating too but thought it's unreasonable to be irritated by a regional variation - fine to be irritated by pretentiousness though :o

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 27/03/2015 09:18

Royal "addicting" in that sentence is just incorrect though and sounds like a mistake a child would make when they mean "addictive". :o

NigellasGuest · 27/03/2015 09:20

Similarly, what is also annoying is asking someone what they "think to" something- eg "We're going out on Saturday, what do you think to that?"

Original poster
lottieandmias · 27/03/2015 09:36

I don't pretend to be perfect myself. Perhaps I also say things that some people would find irritating. I started the thread and because I specifically find this use of 'I'm looking to' irritating - it's a personal thing and I've noticed it happening increasingly in the last few years. Obviously it has hit a nerve with some people!

OP posts:
Original poster
lottieandmias · 27/03/2015 09:37

Oh and I don't think I'm better than anyone else - this was meant to be lighthearted.

OP posts:
Original poster
lottieandmias · 27/03/2015 09:38

I have no idea if it's regional or not - if so, what region?

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 27/03/2015 09:42

Not really but " Reaching out" instead of contacting makes me a bit ragey.
To be honest I do find bad grammar a bit annoying but I try not to let it bother me or I would be in a state of permanent annoyance.
Funnily enough I was taking to DD10 about it this morning as she was complaining I was correcting her grammar and she pointed out that she always writes correctly and I think that's the point. She said that people regularly wrote that it was " are" house and " could of" and most of them didn't know this wasn't correct. If people use the slang verbally but know it's not technically correct then that's fine but it does concern me a bit if children in particular thing that it is " are" house and " could of"
Bad grammar is mildly irritating at best though

Original poster
lottieandmias · 27/03/2015 09:45

'Reaching out' , yes I've noticed that too! Someone said it to me recently actually.

OP posts:
Original poster
lottieandmias · 27/03/2015 09:47

Pardon annoys me as well. But that's because it was drummed into us at school that pardon is wrong. So now my children say 'what' and some people think that sounds rude. So you can't win.

OP posts:
RandomNPC · 27/03/2015 09:51

My mother used to teach elocution, you never hear of that now

And thank fuck for that

Theoretician · 27/03/2015 09:53

I think there's a slight difference in meaning between say " I'm looking to buy a Ford " and "I'd like to buy a Ford".

"Looking to" sounds wrong to me, I think it means "thinking of."

So I think "I'm looking to buy" should be "I'm thinking of buying."

Original poster
lottieandmias · 27/03/2015 10:01

I think what bothers me about looking to is that it's as if the person is afraid to say what they really want or mean.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread