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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that some people are deeper thinkers than others.

67 replies

bananayellow · 26/03/2015 21:21

I'm not talking about troubles that are on your mind at the moment. Just general thinking.

I had a rare, nice, long, unrushed shower today and was thinking about something in my past that was a good memory. I realised that I do most of my thinking on those rare occasions. I'm obviously not a deep or frequent thinker. I tend to live in the present.

Aibu to think that most people probably spend more time than I do, reminiscing about the past or thinking about the state of the world?

How much time do you spend reflecting on things?

OP posts:

Original poster

bananayellow · 26/03/2015 21:23

Not that showers are rare, more that they are not often unrushed

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 26/03/2015 21:23

A lot. I have a lot of internal conversations with myself too.

Original poster

bananayellow · 26/03/2015 21:26

What do you say to yourself?

OP posts:

JuliaDream · 26/03/2015 21:26

I try to live in the present and push deep thoughts away mostly.

Doesn't always work though.

drudgetrudy · 26/03/2015 21:27

We can't really know about other people's thoughts-and is dwelling on the past or worrying about the future necessarily a good thing? Daydreaming a bit is quite nice.
Impossible to know how much people reflect on the state of the world-appearances can be very deceptive.

iLoveFlop · 26/03/2015 21:29

I have imaginary conversations with RL people in the shower. Only ever in the shower though!

Gatehouse77 · 26/03/2015 21:31

I asked DH if he ever thinks about thinking. Cue "What is this freak I've married?" look!
I often try to track my train of thought and wonder why I took one path over another. I also revisit random thoughts and and expand on them.

Sparklingbrook · 26/03/2015 21:32

All sorts of daft things banana. Can't really remember, just a way of sorting my thoughts I think.

Haggisfish · 26/03/2015 21:33

Far too many-I suffer from anxiety generally through and so am always over thinking things!

ouryve · 26/03/2015 21:34

It's what our mums would have called daydreaming.

I try not to think about the past too much. Too many wtf moments.

I do, however, work out how I need to tackle important things, while in the bath or shower.

JuliaDream · 26/03/2015 21:38

You only have to read MN to see that some people over think things. A lot of the stuff on here that posters stress about, I wouldn't give a second thought to.

NorksAreMessy · 26/03/2015 21:39

Yup, I REALLY think about everything...really really think about all the things I could have done or said, how the day will plan out, little worry about DC, every single detail of everything is churned around endlessly on daily dog walk.
I wish sometimes I could just SWITCH OFF

JigsawsAreAllLittlePieces · 26/03/2015 21:43

Arguments from long ago that have been dealt with I still go over and restate my POV in an assertive way - I had a long time when I just meekly rolled over and gave in so have a lot like this. I find by replaying it and taking the upper hand with no dissenting voice I can finally let it go.

Idontlikemondays42 · 26/03/2015 21:43

I have typed about three different responses to this. I overthink, I think!

happy2bhomely · 26/03/2015 21:45

I suffer from anxiety. I think constantly. Not always bad things. Just things. I sometimes feel like I have 'channels' in my mind that are all having different thoughts at the same time. They include conversations, plans, thoughts of the past. I can bring one to the forefront of my mind to focus on, but the others are always on in the background. I also have terrible dreams most nights. I'm a happy, optimistic person, believe it or not! But I have intrusive thoughts every day. My mind is chaotic. Luckily I recognise that it is not normal, and I practice techniques to keep it under control.

It is exhausting. My DH knows about it. He says he has no concept of what it must be like it. He says his mind is clear and quiet. He lives in the present. He tells me he doesn't remember having a dream, ever.

I can only imagine that kind of peace.

MaidOfStars · 26/03/2015 21:45

A lot. I have a lot of internal conversations with myself too
Similar, except my internal conversations come with facial expressions, mouth movements and the occasional utterance. My husband thinks it's hilarious and I've scared the odd person walking past me when I'm sorting the world out.

I don't get it when you say to someone 'What are you thinking about?' And they reply 'Nothing'. How can you be thinking of nothing? At first, I thought it meant 'Fuck off and mind your own business' (fair enough) but my husband insists that he is often genuinely thinking of nothing.

Sparklingbrook · 26/03/2015 21:46

My overthinking annoys me a lot. Always wondering if I did/said the wrong thing, or made a mistake about something.

MaidOfStars · 26/03/2015 21:48

The closest I get to 'not thinking of anything' is counting things, numbers of windows I've passed, number of bulbs in a light fitting, ceiling tiles, marks on walls.

mineofuselessinformation · 26/03/2015 21:54

I overthink sometimes, it's part of my personality (and I know that I worry unduly about things that I shouldn't).
BUT I also know that people who are selfish and self-centred don't think enough.
Therein lies the conundrum!

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 26/03/2015 21:55

Me too MaidofStars

DH and I always joke that at times he just has a little bird whistling in his head wheras I'm lying awake thinking about things which range from the meal plan for next week to thinking about the human need for faith or about the best way to teach ds how to draw 3D shapes (I am not an artist!!).

I do think thinking too much can lead to anxiety/depression though.

worksallhours · 26/03/2015 21:57

I spend a lot of time thinking myself down rabbit holes over the most inane things. I probably do it more than I do anything else.

It's a very bad habit to have sat in front of web browser because then you can look stuff up and the whole rabbit hole then becomes a voyage through the ocean of digital information and five hours later, I find I am reading all about how Roman women washed their hair, which I realise I am finding utterly fascinating.

As a result, I have a head full of not very useful information, and it pushes all the things I really need to remember out ... like what day it is and whether or not I have ordered any groceries or when I last ate.

I suppose it is a form of addiction really. Ponders and starts thinking about thinking being an addiction.

See! See how it happens!

Original poster

bananayellow · 26/03/2015 22:00

Do people ever just sit still thinking? I tend to busy myself with things and it's only when I'm forced to do nothing that I think.

I do worry in the middle of the night sometimes, but only about current issues.

I tend to not regret things in the past, even if they aren't good, or if I wouldn't repeat them, because I believe they have made me the person I am, so there is no point regretting things.

OP posts:

SaucyJack · 26/03/2015 22:03

I have imaginary arguments with people in my head constantly. Sometimes people who don't actually exist. I also count tiles and look for patterns in stuff. Not to mention having the same crappy song going round and round and round for days on end.

It's exhausting. And people ask me why I drink (!)

EqualRites · 26/03/2015 22:03

As a teenager I used to get stuck in a loop: I'm thinking about something. Hmm, now I'm thinking about thinking about something. Now I'm thinking about thinking about thinking about something etc... It was really hard to stop!

I often play out whole conversations with other people, particularly if I'm anticipating a disagreement. I have sometimes argued someone else's point of view so convincingly that I've changed my mind.

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 26/03/2015 22:04

I don't regret things but I spend a lot of time worrying about things that may happen in the future. I am excellently prepared for any eventuality though and it drives DH nuts when he suggests something and I immediately point out something that might make it a bad idea. Even worse when he does something and he is surprised that I wouldn't have done it as i would have known it was a bad idea (like letting our now traumatised DS ride the ghost train alone at 4).

However, DH is a lot happier than me!

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