Need to let off a bit of steam after getting myself all het up over something and nothing. I've had a bit of a heated discussion with two of my so called friends today after both of them said how easy my life is just because I have a husband.
Now both of my friends are single, have been for years and they both have 2 children in full time school. I myself have three children, the youngest of whom is 4 and is autistic. I'm currently a Sahm after I had to quit my job and my husband works long hours doing day/afternoon/night shifts on a rolling rota. Our two oldest children are at school but our youngest is at home with me most of the day although he does do 2 hours a day 3 days a week at nursery.
My husband is fantastic and does what he can when he can during the week and when he's on days he's home for 3 onclock, which is brilliant but when he's on lates he doesn't get home until midnight and when he's on nights he as you'd expect sleeps for most of the day. So anyway I spend the majority of my time alone with my children and whilst I love them all dearly, my youngest son as you can imagine is extremely hard work.
I'm constantly back and forth driving here and there as they all attend clubs so when my hubby is on lates or nights it's all down to me and since our youngest's behaviour had worsened i find it extremely difficult to do even the simplest of tasks.
My friends no I'm going through a rough time of it lately, and whilst I don't sit there moaning on, poor me poor me etc I genuinely thought that every once in a while I'm entitled to a little moan, well apparently not.
I continued to tell my friends what my son has been up to, his usual antics, ie throwing toiletries all over the carpets, trying to climb out the windows, hitting his bother and sister, banging his head on the floor etc etc and the response I got infuriated me. They just nodded along at first but then went on to say "oh at least you don't have to do it all on your own like us." And when I went on to say yes it must be difficult being on your own doing it all but that my sons autism is a challenge whether there's one parent or two there, they just scoffed! And just kept saying "oh you've got DH [edited by MNHQ] there to help you all the time and surely he can't be that bad with him going to nursery you get a break" etc.
Well the truth is during the week my hubby isn't always here, and even when he's on his early shift he only gets home by three o clock by which time I've already left to pick my son up from high school for 2.45, my daughter up from juniors at 3.10 and my son up from nursery at 3.35! He is a help when I'm trying to do tea but other than that nothing much is different.
They know full well how upset I've been this last year and how much we've been through yet they dismissed everything I was saying and brushed it off. Now I seriously had to bite my tongue, but wish I hadn't now. Both of them have all their children at school, they both don't work so go off on lunch dates, go for manicures, pedicures etc and of a weekend the children's fathers take them so they Friday to Sunday to themselves. Now I know it's not a competition of who has things the easiest but that's how they made me feel it was, and I'm just fed up of it. Mine and dh's family life is unrecognisable from what it was two years ago and we are finding the stress of everything is really taking it's tool, especially health wise. I haven't had a period in eight months which after tests has been put down to stress, my husband is fatigued all the time and has low blood pressure as he's never got a minute and my blood sugar levels were that low recently that I've fainted three times as was admitted to hospital. I'm fine now after making time to look after myself a bit more and dh too but things are just crap generally and after looking forward to spending time today with two women I considered to be my true friends I came away feeling furious.