To tell them i dont want to be friends if they wont stop being so negative

[HappierThanLarry]

When I announced my pregnancy, I got the usual congratulations ext along with,

"Its going to be hard work you know"
"Prepare for the months of sleepless nights with a screaming baby"
" Your body will never be the same"
"The first 3 months are awful, you end up regretting it"
"Its never ending, you never get any time to yourself"
"Your house will be a mess, you'll never have time to clean"
"Be prepared for countless of washes with all the dirty clothes, its never ending"

It hasn't all been negative but these phrases were said to me over and over.

Well actually, its been great. Its been nothing like what people portrayed!

My baby is 9 weeks old now, from the very start he had 4 hours till each feed, awake for an hour slept for 3 hours.

We've had 3 times when he's been upset and I haven't been able to settle him. He's only been upset for about 20 minutes and after the 3rd time I realised it was because he was over tired!

Now he's a bit older he has 5 hours between each feed and sleeps for 4 hours. At night he sleeps from 12am - 6am - 10am.

When I tell my friends that its a lot easier than I thought and I'm enjoying myself, they look at me with raised eyebrows and "come on now, you can tell me"

Why would I lie?!!? I understand every baby is different and I don't think its in heard of to have a happy chilled out baby!

I feel like telling them to go away if their going to be so negative. I'm thoroughly enjoying my baby and I do get time to myself. In admit my bedrooms seen better days but I cba doing it and seems as theirs only me and baby sleeping in there it doesn't bother anyone else. The rest of the house is fine.

I completely understand some people have a high maintence baby, and I know I'm very lucky to have such a chilled baby. But just because some people struggled in the first few months doesn't mean everyone does!

It doesn't mean I'm lying!

Apparently if its good now it will be worse when baby is older. Not necessarily! And even if it is, its not forever and I'm happy at the minute so stop trying to burst my bubble!

Aibu to tell them if they can't stop being so negative then I don't want to be friends anymore

I'd tell the lot of them to fuck off.

Life's too short for that kind of crap.

If you want to back off from them, do so. Friends are supposed to be happy for you and supporive, not waiting for/willing you to fall.

FWIW, I found the newborn bit the easiest part and although some stuff is tricky, children are pure joy and well worth any part of the less enjoyable bits

Your friends sound absolutely lovely

I was the same OP, some babies are just easy and some mums take it all in their stride more.. The negative ones just want to know everyone found it as hard as them to make them feel better. Just say a bright and breezy "I'm loving it"

Forgot to add, this was much worse when I lived in the Middle East.. In general they hate the newborn stage because it's demanding and their babies are "no fun"! They were always shocked when I told them how much fun I was having.

i think the thing is everyone is different. Some people have easy births, some don't some have babies that sleep well others don't and that's the way it is throughout your parenting experience.

It's annoying and deflating when people relish telling you how awful it's all going to be I agree with you. I'd never do that. I always say to people "well I loved it but found some aspects of it quite hard, you might not but if you are struggling don't feel bad about asking for a bit of help".

I think that's honest but not too presumptuous.

If you keep these friends they will then move on to, "Wait until they start crawling, then you will see how hard it is...." or "Wait until they start university, then you will see how hard it is..."

It will be relentless.

What about if you said to them something along the lines of
I don't understand. You sound like you want me to be struggling and things to be hard. You don't want that for me, do you?

Happier I can identify with your baby experience - I had 2 like yours - my 1st was so laidback nobody outside the family saw him awake for the 1st 6 months, my 2nd was a little more unsettled but invariably slept between feeds. With my 1st I took up knitting to pass away the time between feeds. I could never understand why people said babies were such hard work - I appreciate I was fortunate but some people really overstate and generalise the work involved with looking after a baby.

Tell them to get to fuck OP - I had two babies like yours. Absolute dreams from day one, easy, ate and slept well, DS1 from 10 days old and DS2 from about a month old.

I love the newborn days, sitting and staring at those tiny little perfect eyelashes and the smallest fingernails in the world.

Some babies are just easy. DS2 has just had his first birthday and I'm mourning the end of that baby baby stage. Personally I found the 18 months-3 years much harder with DS1, who is as stubborn as the day is long but he is out the other side and a delight again. I'm a little nervous of DS2 heading into the same harder stage but who knows, he might be a breeze!

And given that I have two boys, I hear no end of "you've got your hands full" and "will you try for a girl" - people generally are twats no matter if you're pregnant, with a newborn, toddler or teen

Another one here who adores young babies, but finds 18m-3yo hard work!