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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum and my daughter

19 replies

YouKnowNothingRickGrimes · 26/03/2015 07:46

This morning my mum came to pick my 2 daughters (4 and 1) up and drop them off at the childminders as I have something rather important to do today. I am very grateful for the help, it is not a regular thing. So my eldest is going through a stage at the moment where she is just whinging and moaning about everything and tbh it's pretty draining but I've found the best way to deal with it is to totally ignore it and give her no 'air time'. She was having a whinge about her hair when trying to leave with my mum and I asked my mum to just please ignore it as it's an attention thing and my mum just snapped at her shouting for her to stop etc and then telling me she obviously needed to see a doctor ?? my mum is usually lovely, albeit a bit impatient and short occasionally but would I be unreasonable to bring it up in conversation later on and tell her that I wasn't happy with her shouting or even reacting to my daughter when I had specifically asked her not to?

OP posts:
ChipDip · 26/03/2015 07:50

Yanbu about the shouting but yabu to expect someone to just put up with a whinging child and not say anything.

seriouslypeedoff · 26/03/2015 07:52

If this is unusual behaviour for her. Try and broach its gently and explain that ignoring it is the best option. Maybe she has something going on and just snapped. If its a genuine one off, just tell her how you want to handle dd in future and see what she says.

Original poster
YouKnowNothingRickGrimes · 26/03/2015 07:53

about 5 seconds after I have asked her just to please just ignore it as she just screams louder when shouted at? And less than a minute after the whinging actually started? I don't know I just see that as SO intolerant

OP posts:
Marshy · 26/03/2015 07:54

Cut her some slack. Mornings are a stressfull time. Move on.

DurhamDurham · 26/03/2015 07:58

Needs to see a doctor? What an awful thing to say if your dd was just having a moan about her hair. You are right to ignore it and your mum sounds like she did snap very quickly. I'd have to say something to her, she is kind to help you out but she needs to have more patience than that if she's looking after your children.

IDontDoIroning · 26/03/2015 07:59

Your mother is doing you a favour your child was being very annoying - I think you should be grateful to your mum if you have a go at her maybe next time you need her she may not offer.
You're used to your daughter in the mornings she isn't - so cut her some slack

ilovesooty · 26/03/2015 08:00

If your mum is usually lovely I'm wondering what prompted a reaction like that. Yes she should have done as you asked.

Original poster
YouKnowNothingRickGrimes · 26/03/2015 08:02

So perhaps the best route to go down is a text saying something along the lines of " noticed you seemed a bit stressed this morning, is everything ok?"

Honestly I am very grateful and have let her know this multiple times prior to her helping I guess I was just a bit shocked at how quickly she snapped. Like my words didn't even go in.

OP posts:
seriouslypeedoff · 26/03/2015 08:04

Honestly OP that text seems perfect to me. If my mum snapped at my kids, I would be so shocked and worried about her. As she isn't like that usually.

ilovesooty · 26/03/2015 08:05

It sounds as though she might appreciate that text.

Only1scoop · 26/03/2015 08:05

She's probably just a bit tired and snappy. If she's normally lovely then yes ask if she's ok. Id probably speak in person though not send a text etc.

If it's only a one off picking up dd's so early it's unlikely she's exhausted.

Bakeoffcake · 26/03/2015 08:13

I'd be annoyed if my mum did this. There's no need to be so snappy with anyone, nevermind a 4 year old. But if its a one off, maybe your mum is worried about something?

I too would speak in person, rather than the text.

Scholes34 · 26/03/2015 10:22

I wouldn't send a text like that. It's almost implying the problems are all hers. Better to speak and gauge how she and where to take the conversation. Plus it might offer an opportunity to discuss issues you're having with your DD when your DD isn't around and having the issues at that very time.

Thymeout · 26/03/2015 10:56

As a one-off, I wouldn't make an issue out of it.

If it happens again, then go down the 'is everything ok?' route.

seriouslypeedoff · 26/03/2015 10:56

For me, mum would prefer a text. She can reply in her own time, then. But that's just my mum. Not everyone's. Will your mum appreciate a text or phone call/ face to face , OP

Original poster
YouKnowNothingRickGrimes · 26/03/2015 15:50

I sent her the text and she was fine about and explained that she was dreading going into work as some horrible women weren't being very nice to her at the moment. My poor mama

OP posts:
Bakeoffcake · 26/03/2015 16:09

Sad hope she's had a better day. Moor mama indeed.

Bakeoffcake · 26/03/2015 16:09

*poor

seriouslypeedoff · 26/03/2015 16:24

Oh no! Hope she has a better day and dd is ok too.

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