Pilchards in Public

[YellowTulips]

I work in an open plan office with desks in banks of 6's and 8's.

A member of the team sitting near me has embarked on a new diet that seems to consist of ryvita crip breads and sliced tomatoes plus a tin on pilchards.

At lunchtime said tin is opened and the stench permeates the who office.

Nearly 5 hours later I can still
smell it .

Is it ever acceptable to eat really smelly food in an open office?

AIBU to speak to said person and ask her to keep her pilchards private

YellowTulips - I feel your pain. I have a colleague who is a Stealth hard-boiled egg consumer. Not a word is said, but suddenly the sulphurous, farty toxic cloud spreads throughout the land.

People entering the office assume that guts have been dropped. Flowers wilt. Babies cry. Paint peels off the walls.

The perp disappears from the scene, leaving nothing more than a few crumbs of golden yolk and a shard of shell. We are left, gasping, clawing at our throats for breath.

After several hours, things start to return to normal. Then some bastard microwaves leftover cauliflower cheese for their lunch.

My boss used to put mackerel in the microwave in our kitchen

The whole office would struggle not to vom for the next few weeks.
I also once worked with a lady who ate curry for every lunch and every dinner and would do a 'curry poo' at work everyday.
There needs to be rules in place for this sort of thing!

I could pop some surströmming in the post if you want to make him suffer:

"Pilchards ahoy!" made me giggle too. My dad banned his colleagues using the microwave in their department (he was the boss) to heat up leftover curry...

Mackerel in the microwave!

Jeeeeezus.

So a slight confession - I'm actually the senior manager of the team involved (the staff on the floor all report to me).

So I could (will have to) have a word - but I'm a bit loathe to being the food police and also wonder if I'm making a rod for my own back about what constitutes a smelly food. Feels like it should be simple but I'm not sure it is!

I'm thinking maybe carrot rather than stick. Perhaps poping into waitrose and buying some nice (non smelly) toppings for his ryvita to try and wean him off it (or even offering to purchase his pilchard stock in lieu of something else! Sense my desperation here!).

So any suggestions for toppings that are as heathy and same price point as tomatoes and pilchards that don't stink! I didn't add tasty to the list as I can't believe pilchards taste anything but foul .

Short of that I'm going to have to end "pilchards ahoy" as funny as it is as because (as it seems to be a long term fixture) other staff are getting pretty fed up (if it was infrequent I think they would be fine - we are a pretty tolerant lot).

I'm not sure that's going to work, yellow. We're talking about a man whose reaction to people pointing out his food stinks is to start announcing its arrival in a comedy fashion.

He'd probably just supplement your thoughtfully-bought nasally acceptable toppings with pilchard.

I thought this said Richards in public.
DH calls poos Richards.. Something about Richard the third (turd).
I'm kind of relieved it's Pilchards! Sorry OP, but it could be worse !

I love pilchards . Yes they smell fishy, but everyone dislikes the smell of something.
An ex colleague hated the smell of honey, which would have been ok if another colleague didn't drink funny old camomile and honey herbal tea, which did leave a smell in the tea and coffee cupboard. I liked it but it made her gag.
I remember reading a Victorian etiquette book about eating on trains, apparently oranges were banned because of the smell.

Would you ban all smelly food ? What about tuna salads or sandwiches, are they as bad ? Or dose the pilchard pong linger...

LOL at "he'd probably just top what you bought with the pilchards"

I suspect you are right!

It might have to be a brutal truth conversation......

As a manager myself don't go with wishy washy. I've done it so many times trying to be the nice guy - he's obviously got the hide of a rhino if he isn't noticing you all gagging all afternoon.

Oi pilchard eater we can't stand it anymore - the pilchards are going to have to go. We are introducing a rule of no offensive smelling foods and your fishy friends are top of the hit list. Eggs and fish are banned. Other foods may be added to the list at a later date.

Follow up in an email.

It is rubbish though when there's no where at work to get away for a bit or eat your lunch.

Dont try to solve the problem for him. Point out that since good natured ribbing and less good natured whinging had not clued him into his being rude, you have to be the one to break it to him. It is rude to be make the office smelly day, after day, after day, whether is food, perfume, or body odor.

You support his healthy lifestyle, but he should eat his pilchards for breakfast at home, and bring in something less noticeable for lunch. Once a week might be reasonable for pilchards in the office, but the rest of the week he needs non-smelly food, or to find somewhere outside the building to eat it.

Would you consider Branston pickle a smelly food? My colleague hates it and I ended up eating my sandwich half out the window the other day - I'll probably skip it in future anyway but I wonder if it should have a general place on the banned list?

I'm ridiculously sensitive smell-wise but I can't imagine how Branston pickle would ever travel that far, Mandatory.

Liberally spray airfreshener after Pilchard Man has eaten his lunch.

Threaten to start bringing in a Durian fruit for your lunch if he doesn't change his ways.

I might just do that - I've heard they smell like a sewer

I love the smell of pilchards, and I'm a veggie.

The thread title sounds like a great name for a band.

I have a digestive condition that means I am prone to vomiting. Certain food smells will make me puke and cooked fish is one of them. I had a politely tackle a very lovely colleague who regularly heated up her fish pie in our tiny kitchen's microwave and then ate it in out hot, airless open plan office. The first time that I puked in the toilet, I told myself that my stomach was particularly bad that day. I did have to address it though. Afterwards, someone else came and thanked me because they felt vomitus too and they had a healthy, functioning stomach!

I don't eat fish, curry or eggs (hot or cold) in my open plan office. It's just common decency. Food smells are par for the course. Stinking out the office is just not on!

Pichards in Public

Mackerel in the Microwave

Hard-boiled Egg in the Hall

but

Sild in Secret

I thnk eating at your desk is scummy anyway, can't you enforce no eating in the office?

Hmm...you can smell it 5 hours later?

I refularly take tinned sardines or mackrel to work to eat, and eat it at my desk.

I open the tin, tip it on my salad, then nip to the loos (because no other nearby sinks) and wash out the tin and put the clean tin in the recycling.

I eat my lunch then go and swill my plate and cutlery and have a minty gum.

I occasionally get the odd good humoured moan whilst I'm eating them but the smell of tinned fish doesn't linger for hours . Minutes at worst.

Is he leaving his fishy plate hanging around or not washing out the tin before he throws it away?

A friend of mine in work has a very sensitive stomach and sense of smell so won't come near me if I'm eating as it makes her (literally) heave. But a few minutes later and it's fine.

I think you're probably being a bit of a drama llama tbh...either that or he's eating out of date tinned fish that's off...in which case I can believe it smells for hours.

Subway
Curry
Any form of fish or reheated fish pie (I worked with a woman who used to do her boil in a bag fish in the kettle once)
Any hot food. Hot food always stinks