To tell this child where burgers come from?

[Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses]

Yesterday we had one of DCs friends (5) round. Went outside and she wanted to see the cows (we live on a farm). She said to me 'these cows all make milk' and I said, 'no, female cows make milk. These are all male and these will make steaks and burgers.'

She looked utterly horrified but it had never occurred to me that a child of 5 would not know where meat came from. The mother was a but sniffy via text later that evening and said that dd was upset but would come around in time.

I think it's frankly ridiculous that she got to 5 without being told this.

WIBU?

I'm curious - female cows can make burgers too right ? If they are the right sort of cow ?

Obvs dairy cows on farms are female and the bulls are for breeding but I thought it was different for meat ? Am I wrong ?

Thank you Notrevealing, I was wondering too. I thought beef cattle and dairy cattle were different things/breeds, rather than the males being for meat and the females for milk.

I thought veal was a by product of the dairy industry, coming from all the unwanted male calves.

Cows are yummy. It's just a fact of life

Not what you meant I know, but so true

Yes discounted

In fact I wasn't aware there was much use for the males in the meat industry aside from veal but I may well be a wee bit ignorant

Dairy cows have calves. Those calves are male or female, as they come. Female ones get kept to be dairy cows. Male ones get sold for meat.

Yes but dairy cows are bred for their quality milk. Meat cows are also very selectively bred for their meat.

You won't get a decent steak from a dairy cow.

I think she was unreasonable not to have let her child know already what beast her food comes from,
But, perhaps she thought it was a bit unnecessary to say these ones we kill for meat, when the child was just asking about milk, could you not have just said no it's the females who give us milk full stop
I appreciate this could have lead to more questions in any case, and you wouldn't expect a five year old not to know.

I remember this discussion with my kids over sausages and pork, 'who would want to eat a piggy ?' whilst tucking into bangers and mash

Didn't put them off though.

All mine have gone through a stage between 2 and 3 of being fascinated by where food comes from.
I don't think they find it harsh in anyway. I'm pretty squeamish about animal products (eggs and milk as well as meat) I can't think about them too much or I can't eat them. It didn't occur to me to not tell the truth about where my children's food comes from though.

A dairy cow has to have a calf (obviously) and sometimes they are impregnated with a beef-type bull's sperm. The calf, male or female will become a beef animal. A pure-bred calf if male will go for meat, and the pure-bred females will become part of the dairy herd.

So Guernsey are a dairy breed, but may be impregnated with (for example) Simmential sperm (dated a dairy farmer in my youth).

I'd buy her a copy of Charlotte's Web for starters. How ridiculous that she didn't know at that age even more ridiculous that she expected you to lie living on a farm and all that.

DS learned where meat comes from by playing Minecraft

Now sometimes he announces "I love cow. Can we eat cow for dinner?"

My kids have loved looking at the fish counter and all the fish with their heads and tails still on, one insisted he wanted them like that on his plate so he could eat it and leave the head, tail and bones like Tom (the cartoon cat) does

elfy

I can't believe that hadn't occurred to me. Very interesting. Every day is a school day !

I find it very sad that, as a nation, we have become squeamish about the realities of meat and dairy production.

I have never hidden where meat comes from, DD loves bambi sausages and knows that the meat from deer is called venison. She also knows where ham and beef come from and has watched whole fish be prepared. If children learn this stuff from a very early age then it really doesn't bother them that much. I would imagine it is a much bigger shock to figure it all out when a child is a bit older and is immersed straight into the full horror of meat production.

I know it is a wild generalisation but in the main, small children seem quite capable of discovering where their food comes from without this knowledge causing a desperately traumatic reaction. It's adults who tend to be rather precious about tackling the facts of the matter.

ds1, at 5, once had a debate with a woman in the local butcher's shop who tried to tell him the rabbits on hooks were only sleeping. "No they aren't" said ds1 "they're dead they are and ready to go into a pie!"

The word "cow" is the name of the adult female of whatever species it is.
What animal is an actual cow if it's not a cow?

How awkward! When teaching my kids the sounds animals make I also taught them the name of the meat. Didn't think twice about this. DD has even asked why duck and goose are the same as the animal while beef, pork and chicken don't refer to the name of the animals that they are. Chickens are hens and cockerels if anyone is wondering!

I think its more normal for us who live or grew up on a farm. It doesn't surprise me that most small children don't equate that beef = cow.

notrevealing It's a balance. The calf is needed for the cow to lactate (annually if intensively farmed, others may get a break). The farmer only needs to build/maintain the size of their herd and you have a pure bred calf to hope for a female to get those numbers. The pure males won't have the muscle mass to make premium money for beef but you're hoping for the 50% of calves that are female.

Once you have your quota of young female calves growing up to join the dairy herd, the remaining cows would have beefy calves (literally) who will have greater muscle mass to sell for a higher price.

When I was about 7, we went on holiday with the family-over-the-road to a farmhouse in Cornwall.

On arrival, Rebecca-from-over-the-road (who was the same age as me) ran into the kitchen and shouted that there was a chicken in there. Her mum asked whether it was fresh or frozen and RFOTR replied "I don't know, it's just clucking around under the table "

On the same holiday, I wondered what cow tasted like (as opposed to beef, which I knew), so I licked one of the dairy cows that would look at me over the fence every day . Cow tastes of sweat and poo and mud

We had cows in the field next to our house when I was growing up emwithme and I remember watching in shocked fascination as one of them did an immensely smelly poo. I then refused to eat oxtail because it had been next to a cow's bum. Now, of course, I refuse to eat oxtail because I think it tastes rank.

I don't know. My 3 year old doesn't know yet and I don't dare tell him as it will be loads more things he will probably refuse to eat when he is already really fussy. I guess a lot can change in 2 years of a child's life though

Ours used to go round the supermarket at that age making the appropriate noises at the packaged meat.

Some people are just a bit over sensitive, I know adults that will only eat things if they don't look like what they are so its not a surprise that they resist telling their kids the truth.

I think its a bit ridiculous but she certainly isn't on her own!

I think I might have dropped a similar bollock once whilst ds friend was round. He 'doesn't eat' foreign food. I pointed out that the spag bol and pizza are Italian and burgers are American and he immediately started to make gipping noises. Still wonder occasionally if he still eats those things!

Lol this thread reminds me of two supermarket incidents. One when I was with a friends 3 year old and she called out loudly "no kids can we have dead cow for dinner today" the lady stood near her looked quite shocked!

And the other with my foodie son who had not long started school. We were at the fish counter and he wanted to know all about the mackerel so we chatted for a bit and then I said " next time daddy has some you can try it to see if you like it" he said in a surprised voice " oh no I don't want to eat it I want to take it to school for show and tell" apparently it was cool because it still has its head and tail!

YANBU.

Not sure my six year olds would be able to equate cows in the field with the meal on their plate unless explicitly told though. We live in the city so not much contact with animals, so I just don't think it would occur to them.