to ask, what would you do if you caused a someone to die

[PoloAndBingo]

Long time lurker here.

I don't know if this sounds weird, but I live in fear of accidentally harming someone - knocking someone over in my car, DC having an accident on my watch etc, even serving up food that kills a guest (my cooking's not that bad, honest). I have some MH issues due to a series of traumatic events, so this is a bit of 'thing' for me, and I wonder if others ever feel the same? Is it normal in any way??

I know accidents happen. I look at parents who lose children in drowning accidents etc and I have nothing but sympathy and the feeling of 'there but for the grace of God'. Life is so fragile and there is no way of turning back the clock when terrible things happen - and we are all human and not programmed to never make errors of judgement. But how can something that happens in the blink of an eye ruin the rest of your life?

I've had some near misses - not seeing a car once as I crossed road, sleep deprived, with newborn DD, for example. I know even the very best parents, the very best. most alert and attentive people make fatal mistakes. But how do they go on? What would you do?

May post on MH board later as having a bit of an anxiety flare-up today, for no reason in particular

Good to know I'm not alone and look forward to cjecking out the TED talk

Ah, choking, yes. My DD, when she eats (halved, always halved) grapes actually says "I chew chew mummy, see!" ??. And she's the only kid in the neighbourhood not to have a scooter

morelike that seems like a lose-lose situation but can understand why it might have shocked you at the time. I could never do a job like that or medicine (also I'm not clever enough!) as I would be a nervous wreck. As it happens I used to work in copywriting and even then had regular 'I could kill someone' panics eg when I wrote an exercise booklet and my mind went into overdrive!!

'Worrying is like praying for what you don't want'.

This is what I remind myself when I'm going in rounds dwelling on things that might not even materialise.

Sometimes after a journey I check my car to make sure there is no blood on it.
I'm so paranoid about hitting someone and not realising it.
Life can be so very cruel.
I do knoknow a few people who have been responsible for car deaths. One killed his best mate.
All young men unsurprisingly.They have all got on with their lives now.
Though I don't know what is happening inside of course.
My uncle killed a granny while on a motorbike. He got over it as well.

There is if course powerful antidepressants or antipsychotics which will stop the brain thinking unpleasant thoughts. If I accidently killed my child I'd have to be on those for life I think.

I know two people who (many, many years ago) killed people in (separate) car accidents. In each case it was established that the accident was not their fault, as the person concerned had stepped in front of the car very suddenly, so they could not have avoided them, and no drink or drugs were involved.
One of them had a nervous breakdown almost immediately, and was ill for several years, managed to overcome this and carry on - but never drove again.
In the other case, the person concerned was 'forced' to drive home (only a few hundred yards - and with a policeman in the car to ensure safety) and has always credited this 'get back in the saddle' approach with allowing her to continue driving and not suffer too much trauma.
OP you sound like a caring and careful driver - and mindfulness would probably be a helpful tool for you.