to not go to this leaving do?

[brentonstripeandredlipstick]

I've worked with this person for nearly 3 years, we used to be friends till she was involved in a bit of bullying and we are now civil but that's it.

It's her leaving do this Friday. I was going to go as I will be the only team member not to go and I feel that's poor.

However, given the above, the place has no parking and is in a rough area where you wouldn't want to walk about on your own. It will involve me getting a sitter and paying for one as well as paying 30 pounds for the night out which I can't afford.

I'm off from Friday for a week, aibu to say I've got a last min weekend away and can't make it?

I don't go to social do's and I actually like the people I work with and it hasn't impacted on my relationships with them.

Don't go.

I think you're right not to go. Have a lovely week off :)

Don't go. Don't make any excuse that is too convoluted....it always sounds worse.

Better to go with (big smile, in front of other team members, so they are aware you are nice person/ bear no grudges etc) "it's sooo kind of you to ask me to the do on Friday, but I'm really sorry I cant make it, I've got another thing on that night. Have a wonderful time. All the best for your new job!"

(Big smile, big smile, whilst inwardly thinking good riddance.)

I never socialise with work, and I like most of them. I never give a reason....or they'd be all 'oh my DD does baby sitting, she'll watch the kids for you so you can come' etc etc.

I just don't want to spend my small,amount of leisure time with people I alread spend all day with.

I wouldn't go, and I wouldn't make excuses about it either.

There is not a hope in hell I would attend a leaving do, a lunch, or contribute to a present or card, for a colleague that I had previously had a bullying problem with. Or, for that matter, one that I knew to be a bully to someone else.

Remain polite, tell them all tomorrow that you hope they enjoy their night out on Friday, and leave it at that.