to think I should be able to have a day or two off sick in peace without fear of recriminations?

[DiarrhoeaDeirdre]

OK I may not be being very rational here. I have been really ill since the weekend with a gastric flu type thing. This is the first days I've had off in about 10 years. It's bad enough I can't rest and recuperate without feeling guilty about my work going to pot knowing no-one will cover in my absence, but also knowing I will have to have some patronising return to work interview when I get back. Have been reading the absence policy (between trips to the loo) and it's clear from the tone that the assumption is we're all lying shirkers. It must encourage people to return to work before they're ready. I realise of course that sickness costs the economy ££££.

Thanks. I actually had a dream last night about the absence policy

YANBU. Someone I know was asked how they (the employer) could help in making sure she was not away for the same reason again - when her mum had just died.

YANBU I had a total of 3 weeks off this year due to surgery (2 different ops) - my GP wants to sign me off again - I have refused as I can't afford to be ill since I have too much work on and we are going through yet another restructure :(

Being ill is a cardinal sin in this country

YADNBU
Stay off a bloody week and get a sick note.

TheresaMayNot
I kid you not, that happened here too and the same conversation when same colleague had a miscarriage.

No you aren't being rational, it's a sickness absence policy not "little bear feels poorly"
I have never had a patronising return to work interview because I never take the piss and it sounds like you don't either go to bed and get better

and they were asking what the employee was going to do to try and make sure it didn't happen again!!

I'm sorry but YABU these policies are in place for a reason. There are employees in every work place that take the piss and think nothing of calling in sick to have a day off in the sun. Your employee cannot let you off having a Back to work interview as that would discrimination against those that do.

Your interview will not be patronising so chill out and focus on yourself and getting better.

YANBU. My friend slipped on the ice on the way to work hitting her head and badly bruising her back. She couldn't get up and a passer by called an ambulance. She was taken to A&E at the hospital she worked at and got the nurses to let her department know why she wouldn't be in. Her manager came down to view her in A&E and she was only allowed to go home when her husband was contacted at work to get her and stay with her for 24 hours as she had a head injury.

She went to work the next day and was questioned as to why it wouldn't have been just as easy to go to work the day before instead of going home as she was in the building anyway.

Eva50, NHS managers are the last people to give someone any sympathy.

One place my neighbour worked only allowed you to have one weeks conteacted hours off per year. So if your contract was 12 hours you were only allowed to take 12 hours off sick per year. Once he was due to work a 9 hour shift but ended up with d&v so had to take that day off which meant he only had 3 hours of sickness left before disciplinary action would be taken.

This was a company who only gave out 4,8,12 hr contracts but expected you to work 20, 25,30 hours per week.

sorry Op, it may be that your policy implies that you are all 'lying shirkers' but a return to work interview is good practice. It gives (when done properly) the employer the opportunity to understand the reason for your absence, whether you need support/adjustments etc, to allow you to raise anything etc. They are informal and shouldn't last more than a few mins and shouldn't be a cause for concern for the employee.

It may be that your employer isn't supportive - but it won't be at the back to work interview that you 'face recriminations'.

I think the trouble is they need to interview everybody as if you just interview the ones who we know are taking the Mickey then they will say they are being unfairly treated.
An ex colleague of mine was not good when other people were off. After another colleague's miscarriage ( her 2nd) he said that she should be back as it was just like a heavy period. I nearly wacked him one. Yet he had several bouts of "flu" after a weekend.

Yup. I too had that conversation following a miscarriage. "What can you/ we do do prevent recurrence flora?", I WISH I'd said something other than stare. Something either hostile or quip regarding my sex life. But hey I resigned a day later. Really wish I'd shamed them over that return to work though. bloomin HR woman (Who was pregnant, to be fair she was really really embarassed and just reading from a form. Everyone, including me could have handled that better).

I'd feel exactly the same in your position. That you have to be interrogated when you've been off once in ten years. And let's face it they only have to do this because so many people are always off sick so other people have to suffer. It's cheeky. I'd look for another job.

JUst saw your post flora. That is total shocking. I think you could have reported them for that.

and I don't think the questions are inappropriate in the cases theresa & phephenson quote either. It depends on how they were phrased but i imagine that the intent was rather than to suggest that they can avoid her Mother dying again, was more likely to be, how can they help the employee manage her grief alongside work to prevent further absence. Just because someone has returned to work having lost their Mother or had a miscarriage doesn't mean they have fully grieved so actually they could well have further absence for the same reason.

In terms of what the employer could offer to prevent further absence, a lot of employers will have access to things like employee support programmes and stress assessments for example.

In terms of job roles it will depend on the role of course, but I work in public sector and have a team that take calls about notifying of deaths. So in the example of someone's Mother dying, an option would be to say to the employee that they could change teams temporarily so they didn't have to spend their day hearing about other people's losses. That's just one example off the top of my head. It may well be that the 2 employers in question are terrible and their intent wasn't as i have described, but we don't have the fully story and I am just saying that it may well not have been how it looks at 1st glance.

Obviously in your case Flora, the way that was phrased was inappropriate - and that is the problem from reading from a form rather than adapting the conversations to the circumstances. I do maintain that when done well a return to work should be helpful for both the employee and the employer but I am sorry that happened. Clearly some employers can get it very wrong

I was asked how I'd prevent a recurrence of the illness after an appendicectomy. They looked a bit askance when I laughed.

Don't worry about it op, it is what it is. I've had them in the past and I've got a chronic condition they know about. I don't take the piss but if I'm ill I'm ill. The problem with people who come to work ill is they spread said illness round their work! Then people like myself who are immunosuppressed struggle to fight these bugs off then I get hauled in. My works always been ok actually. I'm always honest and tell them it annoys me people come in sick (tho this is also down to their policies!). It's not the end of the world tho so I don't let it bother me :)

YABU. Nobody is pressurising you to return or making you feel like a shirker. The back to work interviews are to offer support where appropriate (stress etc) and to intimidate the shirkers. You're not one, nobody thinks you're one, so just relax and get yourself well.

Indeed, Notgoingout. That's what makes people so resentful, not the process per se, but that it's so badly handled, often by managers who have had no training in these things. When budgets are tight there's no money for this kind of training. But even when matters are handled more sensitively it's still clear that the underlying rationale is 'what can we do to make damn sure you're at your desk irrespective of circumstances 'cos we're paying you to do a day's work'. I don't know what the answer is though and I'm glad I don't have to write such policies.

Another aspect which is so unpalatable is when absence is stress-related and work is a massive contributory factor or even the main factor yet these interviews are carried out by managers who are the cause in the first place

YANBU, one of my colleagues was left with broken legs after a hit and run, the boss asked her "do you think this is likely to happen again". WTF