to ask a friend for...

[AlfieGotInFirst]

a fiver back on principle.

I went to a party at the weekend. Early in the evening a friend and her husband announced that they were leaving. Their 22 year old daughter (we will call her Sarah) didn't want to leave so the mom (we will call her Emily) said 'it's okay, you can go home with Alfie and her husband'. She didn't ask me first just assumed it would be okay.

Later in the evening, Emily and her husband had gone home I was at the bar ad Sarah came up to me and said 'can you buy me a drink, my mom didn't leave me with any money'. I felt bad saying no so said yes. She asked the barmaid for a DOUBLE vodka and coke. Fast forward to the end of the night and taxi time. My friend asked me if me and DH would mind sharing a taxi with his mom and brother to make sure they got home okay as brother was drunk and I was sober and sensible. I said no problem but had Sarah- he said she could share a taxi with his daughter (her friend) as we were leaving, Sarah said to me 'I've got no money for the taxi. Can you give me some?' so I said I'd lend her a fiver. I gave it to her and her response was 'is that all?'. I told her that it was all I had and was going to have to go to the cashpoint on the way home now to pay towards my own taxi. Left to sounds of my husband and friends mom calling her a cheeky wotsit.

My husband has said to me several times 'I hope that you get that fiver back off Emily. I still can't believe they just left Sarah with no money expecting everyone else to pay for her'.

I want to ask her for the fiver back but feel slightly pathetic because it's only a fiver but it's the principle. She actually cost me over a tenner with Sarah's drink and the fee I had to pay to take money out of a cashpoint to pay for my half of the taxi because I'd given it to her daughter.

Oh dear, Sarah has become one of life's takers. Avoid like the plague. You're not going to get the money back, but if you want to prove a point you can chase it. However, once a taker always a taker. She won't suddenly change and sort herself out, I'm afraid. Especially if the parents are encouraging it the way they are. Feel sorry for her Gran!

At 22 she's old enough to know if she 'borrows' money she has to give it back. Where she gets it from isn't your problem, it's your money which you worked to earn, and she's taken it.
She needs to learn if she wants nights out she needs to go out and work to pay for it, like the rest of us, not just scrounge off her mum's friends.
You should insist on gettin it back to help teach her a life lesson because clearly her mum isn't doing that by handing out money to her.
YANBU btw

Clutterbug- where did I say that I didn't want it back? I'm just in shock that she said she was going to get it off her gran who is a pensioner.

Yes, she is one of life's takers. I can't see her ever wanting to get a job if her mum, Gran or others are happy to just give her money as and when she wants or needs it.

Sarah wasn't asking for a loan; she asked the OP to buy her a drink and to "give" her money for a cab. She never had any intention of paying it back. Alfie, I would let the mum know that she was out of line for assuming you would see her daughter home, and that you resent being used as her daughter's bank. I'd never expect to see the fiver again, but then I wouldn't be inviting them round for drinks either; you'll save money in the long run.