aibu To be moving my dd and ds in yr 4 and 5

[shitmother]

To be honest, I feel like the worst mother ever.

We live in a small town but have outgrown our house. We have fallen in love with a house in a much nicer town about 25 mins away. We have sold our house and have had our offer accepted on new house. Its early days so we haven't told DC yet. In short my Ds, in particular will be devestated. He has had the same friends since day one. He is now in yr 5 and all that matters to him is being with his friends. He's a bright boy and the secondary school he was due to go to is a good one. But so is the catchment school of the area we are moving to. We are going to give him the choice of doing year 6 at current school (I don't mind commuting him for a while) or starting new primary when starting yr 6. Pros and cons to both. Oh god, everything time I see gorgeous little face I want to pull out of the whole thing! DD not much of a worry at all, she loves an adventures and finds it easy making new friends. Help! Am I about to do the worst thing for my lovely ds??!

I think you're overly panicking. You've said yourself that DS can still stay at his school...and go to his high school with his mates. 25 minutes is nothing!

Loads of kids travel that far at high school. Will your DD be happy to move? That's quite normal in whatever year...people have to move sometimes.

Oh sorry, I was unclear. He can finish his primary school but will then have to go the new catchment secondary school where he will know nobody at all!!

Ah well then it's important that he moves asap....but here's the thing. Even when they do attend high school with the friends they've known all through primary...things change. THey just do....kids make new friends and old established groups go by the wayside.

I speak to a lot of parents of kids who are 11 plus and they ALL say the same things "Oh Ben was SUCH good friends with Rob but now they've moved on..."

Really...it's just change. You have to cope...you will need to be very positive about the new primary and he will do fine...he will make new mates...and then have some to go to HIgh school with...he can also stay in touch with his old friends.

I'm coming at this from a different angle. My DD is in an international school as we are expats. Children come and go all the time. They just adapt. I don't think moving every couple of years is ideal but one change in his whole school career isn't going to do any long term damage. The teachers at DD's school are very matter of fact about moves and say that often it's the parents who worry more than the kids!

The fact is that most children in the UK will have at least one change when they go up to high school. Many have two or three and some even more. As Wibbly says, they deal with it. My very shy, very quiet DD had to change in year 3 and she was fine!

We're moving countries soon so she will have to adjust to a high school in a new country! Younger DD to a new primary. It's a minor thing...feels big at the time but looking back not so much.

If he has good pals or a good pal where he is, help him make a commitment to keeping in touch: email/Skype/good old fashioned meet up. sounds like you aren't going to be too far away.